Luna and the Straw Hat Pirates part 2
by LoveHurtsLife
Summary: Last time, in Luna and the Straw Hat Pirates,due to Raven's dept with Trace, the four girls are sent to the Enies Lobby arch and other adventures. This is a sequel so...R&R mates!
1. Enies Lobby & A Meeting

Disclaimer: I don't own One Piece

Last time, in Luna and the Straw Hat Pirates_,_ due to Ravens depts with Trace, the girls are sent to Enies Lobby arch. Read to see what happens.

Chapter 1: Enies Lobby and a Meeting

"That was the most insane train ride I had ever taken." Dawn said, leaning against the wall. You people should know what happened...hopefully. Or else you'll bereading spoilers.

"ENIES LOBBY!" Raven yelled, poiting ahead, everyone looked out to see an island with light. "YOSHA! WE MADE IT!"

"That's my line!" Luna yelled. Dawn was flicking small coins out the window while Dusk was huddled in the conner (she's hydrophobic)

"Water's scary...water's scary..."

"Calm down, man," Luna said. "It's not like-"

"OOOOIIIIIII!"

"Luffy!" Sanji said, Usopp looked out too.

"It's been a while." Usopp said.

"All hands on deck, we're in for a rough ride." Dawn said. "If you think the battle with CP9 was tough, wait til we get the Devil Hunters..."

"Gah, the Nine Tailed Brethren will take care of that!" Raven said, she taped her staff on the ground. She suddenly was wearing black robes that were silky, and a fox mask covered her face. "I look like Rao from Okami!"

"I hope Loki's all right." Luna said.

"Don't worry, Luna-chan, that bird's been in more dangerous situations before while you were gone." Sanji said. Dawn suddenly took out her dad's pack of cigerettes and lit one.

"Since when were you a smoker?" Luna asked.

"Since I came here."

After connecting the two trains together, they all made their way to Enies Lobby.

(Enies Lobby)

"I can't die." Kumadori said, dropping the knife.

"Hurry up and die, you damn bastard!" Jyabura yelled, Maca slapped her forhead.

"You folks were asigned three people to kill, you end up killing 23, and now, you can't even kill yourselves." Maca sighed. "That's pretty low...for CP9."

"That's not something for you kids to mingle in! How about those two girls with the low bounty? Even if all four of you challenged them, you would all be knocked out! Shiranui!!"

Shiranui got up, a blue pawprint was 'burned' into the left side of her neck. Jyabura said,"When Shiranui went up against that moon girl, her Tekkai was somehow broken by a mere pirate."

"I had to mention it, chapapa!" Fukuro said.

"It's okey, guys I understand." Spandam said. "Shit! I spilled my coffee!"

(Meanwhile)

"Soooogeeekiinnnggg." Usopp sang, finishing that last part of the song. Raven, Chopper, Luffy, and Dusk looked at him with stars.

"Awesome!" Luffy said

"Cool!" Chopper said

"Radical!" Raven said

"Sweet!" Dusk said

"Snipper Island?" Luffy said.

"Yes, I'm one of Usopp's closest friends." Usopp said. Luna sighed as she placed her boots and hat on.

"Can I have an aughtograph?" Dusk asked.

"Sure." Usopp said.

Dawn was leaning against the wall, trying not to lose her temper because of her friends' stupidity. "Keep calm, calm..."

"I drew a map of Enies Lobby." Paulie said, placing a map on the ground.

"Just to let guys know, we already memorized the place inside and out." Raven said. "Maybe we can create a distraction that'll help you."

"That leads only to death, Raven." Sanji said.

"And, it'll mess up the storyline." Dawn said. "We'll have to play things out the way Oda wrote it."

"Wether we'll make it or not." Dusk said.

"It's a gamble of odds." Zoro said.

"Don't act like that, we already know what happens." Luna said. "Unless one of us screws with anything-"

"I don't care about the damn storyline!" Dusk said. "Oda did a nice work, but it's time for us four to enjoy it a different way! Say if Sanji couldn't win-"

"Hey." Sanji said.

"And Luna took over for him, things would be different! Let's have fun with the results after the testing."

"Tell me, what would acually cinvince me that we'll all make it out alive your way?" Luna said.

"Shut up, ero-couple." Dusk said. "I wanna make a speech, anyway. Ever since I read and watched this arch I wanted to redo it and add things I'd like to happen-"

"You know, this isn't worth it." Dawn said. "You'd mess up Oda's work for your pleasure?"

"Maybe." Luna kicked her friend in the head and knocked her out.

"We're going by Paulie's plan." Luna said.

(Later)

"What part of 'We're going by Paulie's plan.' does he not get?!" Luna yelled. Dawn sighed and got out with her board, then jumped. Dusk switched to beast point and leaped onto hte gate next to Luffy. "Not you too!"

"Let's hope he keeps his head." Dawn said. "Take what you can!"

"Give nothing back." Luna said. "Please don't get killed."

(Gallet-La)

"Head full speed and don't stop!"

"Say that again." Raven said, she was suddenly thrown arcross the ship due to the force. Gunshots were heard and a loud thud shook the ground. "Crap, I was looking for the bathroom..."

(Sea Train)

"Where's Raven?" Nami asked.

"She left on the Galley-La." Zoro said.

"And you didn't stop her?!" Luna said

"She needed to use the bathroom."

"There's one right here, marimo."

"I...didn't know where it was." Zoro mumbled. Luna kicked him in the head.

"Damn it...oh well, we'll see her later." Luna shrugged.

(Enies Lobby, Main Island)

"Please let me go though." Luffy said.

"No." said the soldier-guy. Dusk appeared last, she roared. "A tiger won't scare me. It's just a big kitty..."

Dusk opened her jaws and started biting everyone. Dawn took out her swords while Luffy joined the fray.

(Office)

"Wake up everyone!" Spandam yelled.

"Do you have to scream just because of a mere intruder?" Shiranui asked. "Sir."

"That guy came all the way here to rescue one nakama!"

"And how does that make you feel?"

"This is no time for my therapy sessions, okami."

"Suit yourself, it helps Jyabura-sensei ever since his girlfriend dumped him-"

"Shut up, apprantice!"

"Yes, sensei."

"Who told you that?!"

"Me, chapapa!"

(Somewhere)

Raven moved along the crowd of people, she dodged every attack and saying,"Pleasr don't hurt me, I was a hostage."

Suddenly, a sea train was flying across the sky. The Franky Family looked up in disbelief. "You mean we did all this for nothing?! They could've just flown here!"

(Inside)

"Zoro! Got a plan?!" Nami asked.

"We'll have to rely." Zoro replied from the front.

"Shit-swordsman, think of something!" Luna and Sanji yelled.

"On luck..."

"LUCK?!"

"F(bleep) that plan." Luna murmured, she stood at the window seal. "I'll have to jump myself."

"Okami-chan." Usopp said. "Are you suicidal? Dont jump!"

"If you say who you really are, you can survive a 100 foot drop." Luna said, she switched to hybrid point and jumped, but Sanji grabbed her tail and huled her in.

"You and I can survive the drop, but let's save all the fun stuff for later." Sanji said.

**CRASH!!**

(Main Island)

"Last building guys, thanks." Luffy said. Dusk and Dawn nodded and jumped to the top, there, the ran across the roof and made it to the other side. They saw the last building (I forgot the name or something).

(Office)

"Rokushiki Ryuugi Teawase." Fukuro said. "A normal sodier's douriki is 10..."

(2 seconds later)

"Lucci...4000 douriki! It's true, you people have gotten stronger."

"4000?!" Shiranui said.

"I had measured everyone elses, even the apprenitces...Kalifa: 630...Me: 800...Taka: 805...Kumadori: 810..Blueno: 820...Shiranui:2,100...Jyabura: 2,180...Maca: 2,190...Kaku: 2,200...Chehero: 3,900...Lucci: 4,000..."

"That's unfair!" Jyabura said. "If you take out Lucci and Chehero, you're saying that Kaku and his apprentice are overpowering me! What's that supposed to mean?!"

"Chapapa, Kaku snd Maca, even without her powers, are stronger!"

"You two, don't get too cocky, me and Shiranui will never lose to you." Jyabura said as her jumped over the couch, Shiranui got up too.

"Whatever you say, both our apprentices work together, so it doesn't matter who can win between them, the same works for us."

"Don't pay attention to the stray pups." Lucci said.

"Stay pups?" Jyabura and Shiranui said together. "Stupid cat."

"Don't insult Lucci-sensei." Chehero said, all four switched to whatever. Their shadows grew as the snarled.

"Stop this." Taka said, taking out her whip and cracking it. "You four act violently. Just becuse Jyabura was dumped by his girl-"

"Why does everyone have to know about that?!" Jyabura asked.

"Taka and I had talked about it, chapapa!" Fukuro said.

(After the Meeting)

"Before you leave." Spandam said, he had two devil fruits. "Take these with you." He handed them to Kalifa and Kaku.

"Devil Fruit!" Shiranui said, she hid behind a vase while Jyabura went behind the desk. "Don't take it near us."

"You two could not fallen for such a rumor." Blueno said. "The Grand Line Scientists had confirmed that if you were to eat another fruit."

"And a greedy fool would've done so." Chehero said.

"Actually." Taka said. "I had captured a bird with the ability to turn into a horse and a winged horse. No dout, this is the power of the Horse Horse fruit."

"And what's your point, young animal tamer?" Kumadori asked.

"He has eaten the Tongue Tongue fruit, too." Taka said. "Such event couldn't have been possible, no, Blueno?"

"You may have brought one samle of the many strange creature you tammed, perhaps it learned the ability to talk on its own." Blueno said. "Or it would've been ventriloquism."

"I'd say he'd eaten two devil fruits." Maca said. "If it was ventriloquism, that Luna would be somewhere near us."

Chehero nodded. "The last time I saw her was at the sea train, but I still don't get how a bird can eat two devil fruits. Make him squawk out the answers, Taka."

"I'll do that." Taka said, holding her whip to her side.

(Later)

"Shit, they ate them!" Jyabura said. Kaku and Califa dropped their forks and held their necks.

"Sensei?" Maca said.

"Califa!" Taka said.

(3 seconds later)

"It tastes bad." the two said. Everyone who was around them fell over anime style.

"YOU COULD'VE SAID SO SOONER!"

"Awful taste."

"You knew it?!"

"Blueno couldn't wait for the results." Lucci said. "He's somewhere right now, but I'll tell him how your new powers come out."

(Outside)

"You guys took forever." Dusk said.

"It's not my fault Sogeking fell." Luna said.

"It was part of my plan." Usopp said.

"Realy?" Chopper said.

"Now what, captain?" Raven asked.

"Declare war." Luffy said. "To get Robin back."

"And get you four back home." Sanji said. "I overheard a conversation concerning Loki and Raven, espeacially Raven. She has the power to return you four home, but she needs the help of Maca."

"Then we'll just kidnap her." Luna said.

"It's not simple. Raven can't control her powers well as Maca, so she needs the help." Sanji said.

"You're saying I'm weak?!" Raven asked.

"Yeah." they all said

"We barely see you fighting." Zoro said, Raven placed her fox mask on, she suddenly sprouted nine tails behind her. "What?!"

"To tell the truth, I did eat the wish wish fruit, then I wished for the Fox Fox Fruit powers, demon model. Similar to Luna's, only it's a fox."

"So you can be Naruto?" Dawn asked.

"Yep."

"And you ate two devil fruits without eating the other?" Nami said.

"Uh-huh."

"Cool!" Luffy said.

"It's good that you show us your real powers, but we don't have all day here." Luna said. "I wanna fight already."

"Me too." Dusk said. "Bet you that I'll beat Jyabura before you."

"Not a chance, he's mine."

"Okey, let's go and declare war!" Luffy said.

* * *

Heh, my version of them decideing to go and fight...CP9...I need to get out of the house more often.


	2. Declaring War & Going to Battle

Disclaimmer: the stuff, yada, yada, yada

(Note: I skip scenes sometimes between chapters)

Chapter 2: Declaring War and going into Battle

"Yosha! We made it!" Raven said, she and her friends were hiding behind the wall.

"Then what will become of this bird?" Taka asked, Luna looked around the corner and saw Loki heavily chained. "_He_absaloutely doesn't want to live."

Luna had a dark look on her face and she snorted and switched to beast point, she attempted to jump the wall, but Dusk held her back. "He's my bird!"

"We'll get him later, just focus on Robin..."

"Sogeking."

"Yes?"

"Burn that damn flag."

"With pleasure." Usopp said, he took out the Kabuto and pointed it at the flag. "Behold, my weapon's powers!...Hissatsu Firebird Star!"

The flag burst in flames. Raven smiled while Dawn merely rolled a dice in her hand. Luna struggled against Dusk's grip.

"Have you lost your mind?! Don't you people dare think you'll be able to survive with the world as your enemy!" Spandam said.

"THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT WE"RE ASKING FOR!!" Luffy yelled.

"I love this scene." Luna said. "But I want my bird back."

"We still haven't heard you yet!" Luffy said. "Say that you wanna live!"

Long pause.

"I WANT TO LIVE!" Robin cried. "TAKE ME OUT TO SEA!"

"Loki, you say it too!" Luna said, she came out from behind. "Say you want to go live on!"

"SQUAWK!" Loki...well, squawked.

"You two have totally messed up ths scene." Dusk said, sweatdropping.

"SQUAWK!"

"He's chained to some seastone handcuffs, baka!" Dusk explained. "They only removed Loki's ability to speak human."

"Ooops."

"CP9, Devil Hunters, I give you order to kil the Straw Hats and Franky!" Spandam ordered, they all noded. "Lucci, you come with me and Robin."

(Ground)

"Bak, baka, baka, baka!" Dusk said to Luna as she slapped her head. "You ruined the dramatics!"

"Not my fault he squawks now." Luna said as they all went into the judicial tower. Fukuro appeared. "Eep! Freaky dude with the zipper for his mouth!"

"Chapapa, don't insult me." Fukuro said. "Each of us have the key to Nico Robin's handkuffs. Only one works."

He disappeared. Then Maca appeared. "I'll give you a hint, okami. Me and my nakama have the key to your precious bird's chains. Only one works, free him, and we'll send you back to your wold unharmed."

"Is this a game?" Zoro said. "We don't have time for this crap."

"Actually, it is." and with that, Maca went away.

"Oh, my god." Dawn said.

"I'd say we split up." Luffy said.

"For once you're right." Sanji said. "We each go after the CP9 and retrieve the keys. You four girls handle the Devil Hunters."

"Sure." Dusk said. "I caught the key's scent before she left."

"I did too." Luna said. "We'll fallow our noses."

"Be careful." Sanji said. "Luna-chan."

Luna and Dusk walked away in beast point. When she was out of sight, Luna placed Sanji's glasses on.

Everyone else spread out. Raven saw a door that said,"Animal Tamer."

She opened the door and went in. The large room was filled with caged animals, and heads of animals were mounted on the wall, she nearly flipped out. Taka was at the end, she cracked her whip at a very large lion.

"Fred! Attack the Straw Hat!" Taka yelled as she rode him, cracking her whip again. Raven ran around the room. "If you want the key, fight for it!"

(Meanwhile)

Dawn raced around until she saw a small key on the ground...it was similar to the one Chehero had! She pounced on it...then.

**WHAM!**

"Baka, baka, baka." Maca said, shaking her head, a cage fell on Dawn. "You're way too simple."

"Let me out!"

"I gave you the key, what more could you want?"

"Freedom?"

"Well, yeah, but I meant...do you need anything?"

"Actually...yep, I'll have a glass of water."

"Here."

"Gee, thanks."

(Somewhere)

Dusk pounced around the rails until she came across a room with an open door. Inside, she a large pool filled with fish. Ahead, she saw a cloaked figure sitting on the ground, fishing.

"Sir, you know where Chehero is?"

No responce.

"Hello?"

Nada.

"Nah, I'm in the wrong room...wait, sniff...(SNIFF!) wait, you're Chehero!" Dusk said, bluntly, pointing at Chehero. The cover flew off and out came a really pissed off Chehero.

"You scared the crappy fish away!" Chehero said. "Gah, I'll fish some more."

"Can I join?"

"Sure."

"Yippy!" Dusk took a pole and both enimies fished.

(Elsewhere)

"I have to be quiet." Usopp whispered as he tip toed to Jyabura. "Careful...careful..."

"Hi Sogeking." Luna said, Usopp ran to the door. "Watcha doin'?"

"Shit! Okami-chan, where did you come from?! Jyabura has the key..." Sogeking said. "And Shiranui, she sleeps on the bridge."

"Oh, thanks." Luna said, she crawled quietly to the bridge and saw the key in Shiranui's hand. She grabbed it and went to Sogeking, then switched to human point. "Got it...where's Loki?"

"With the animal tamer."

"Ah, guess-eep, rooster!" Luna said, pointing at a rooster

"If it calls out, we're dead!" Sogeking said. "Please don't say anything, rooster-sama? Roster-sensei? Rooster-kun?!"

It opened its mouth and said,"Caw..."

"BIRDS AREN'T SUPPOSED TO DO THAT!!" the two yelled. "SHIT, WE TALKED!"

"You two came here? Well, might as well finish this." Jyabura said, getting up and taking the key. He drank his sake and threw the bottle on the ground. He punched Usopp and sent him flying at the wall, he got up with blood dripping from his mouth. "And a girl, what are you doing here? You shuoldn't be in a wolf's den."

Jyabura switched to hybrid point. "What fruit is that?!" Usopp said.

"Inu Inu no Mi, Model: Wolf." Jyabura said.

"Luna the Hunter." Shiranui said, she got up from her place and stretched. "I want a rematch..."

"Don't tell me..this was the kid who nearly killed you." Jyabura said. Shiranui nodded. "Ah, and what fruit have you eaten, kid?"

"Inu Inu no Mi, Model: Demon Wolf." Luna said, she saw Usopp get up. "This isn't a fair fight, two against one?"

"As long as the long nosed stands, it's fair." Usopp was on his knees. Suddenly, the ceiling caved in, Kaku, in beast point, and Zoro were falling.

"A wolf? Is this a zoo?!" Zoro said.

The ceiling above the ceiling crumbled, Dawn and Maca landed next to Zoro, the cage cracked open.

"I'm free!" Dawn said. Yet again, ANOTHER! ceiling fell apart, water spilled on the CP9 and Straw Hats while Dusk fell on top on Zoro, Chehero jumped down three floors gracefully. Dusk got up and took out her knives out. Chehero was in lion point.

"I really am at a zoo."

Everyone from the CP9 burst out laughing at Kaku. "What, I just happen to like it!"

"You'll be a cow for the rest of your life!" Shiranui pointed out. "Hahahahahahahahaha!"

"Shiranui is right! I pity the fool!" Jyabura laughed, Maca merely stood there while Chehero was rolling on the ground.

"Stop it, all of you!" Kaku said. "Beheold, my powers had been reborn." He switched to a giraffe that was...square.

**KLANG!**

"Handcuffs?!" Luna said, looking at her hand, Usopp threw the seastone handcuff at her. "What's up?!"

"I thought that since they're devil fruit users, they'd be weakend with the seastones...but...the giraffe is funny! He's so...squared!" Usopp laughed, Dusk was laughing at Luna. "I missed.

"Ha! You've been cuffed!"

**KLANG!**

"Again?" Zoro said, looking at his hand to see the handcuffs. "Can you even see them?!"

"I'll go and...find Sanji." Dawn said, she suddenly left.

"Hey!" Maca said, chasing after her. "Don't back out yet!"

"Everyone, stop laughing at me!" Kaku yelled. "_Rankyaku_."

"Duck!" Luna said, she and Dusk jumped over it while Zoro and Usopp dived low. The whole building was sliced in half after the smoke cleared and to the Straw Hat's luck, Usopp was cuffed to Zoro while Dusk was cuffed to Luna. "Crap!"

"Shit." Dusk said.

Luna tied to bite the handcuff, nothing. "Usually it breaks."


	3. Masters and Apprentices fight

Disclaimmer: i wish i own one piece...then I'l take over the wolrd!

Chapter 3: Masters and Apprentices fight

"I have a plan." Zoro said, after the four had been running for their lives from the CP9. "One of us has to cut his/her hand off. When they're free, they most find Chopper and have him sew our hands back."

"We aren't dolls, shithead!" Luna said. "Dusk and I are musicians, we can't damage our hands, much less, even lose them!"

"The ones who stay behind have to help fight."

"Not a good plan. Belay it." Dusk said.

"You, Luna, are like the ero-cook." Zoro said, Luna reached for her necklace. "What are you doing."

"Well, there's only one way I can break these, I need to be in demon point...but I promised Sanji I won't d it again...where is he?"

(Somewhere)

Dawn scrambled past Sanji, she saw him and nearly screamed. "Whoa! What the hell?!"

"D-do something." Sanji said, Dawn waved her hand in the air and Sanji was drenched in water, he reverted to his normal form. "Thank you, Dawn-chan."

"GIVE ME MY KEY!" Maca yelled, swinging her sword at Dawn, who turned into water.

"Go find Luna!" Dawn said. Sanji left.

(Elsewhere/Skips Scenes)

"USOPP!" Nami, Dusk, and Luna yelled as Jyabura was about to smash Usopp's skull with his hand. A black figure appeared and kicked Jyabura to the otherside of the room.

"Sensei!" Shiranui yelled. "Who the hell are you?!"

Sanji rook out a cig and lit it, then he inhaled it. He blew it out and said,"The Hunter."

"Sanji-kun!" Luna said.

"I'm sorry." Usopp said.

"Nami-swan, Luna-chan, Dusk, Ussop, leave now. I'll finish them."

"But." Usopp started. "I-"

"There are things people can and can't do." Sanji said. "Look."

They saw the Gat of Justise from the open ceiling.

"You two better go save Robin, we'll get the keys." Luna said.

"Luna-chan, I just to you to leave." Sanji said while Usopp an Nami ran off. "You're cuffed to Dusk."

"He's right." Dusk said. Luna suddenly placed her mouth of the cuffs and managed to crack it open. "What the f(bleep)?! You can't do that!"

"Remember, this is an anime." Luna said. "Anything can happen, now go fetch the key from Chehero and free Loki...now."

"You two have fun." Dusk said.

(Somewhere)

**RAWWWRRRRR!!**

Raven ran to the end of the room, she saw a large brid cage, inside it, Loki was sitting there. She tried opening it, but nothing.

"Fred, kill her!" Taka said. Raven jumped onto the lion, then ran across his back to the other side. She saw the door and opened it, then ran off to the upper floor. She ended up in a room with a pool that had a large crack in it. The water was drained. Taka caught up her, but the lion was gone. "So you saw the bird, yippy for you, now...to break you!"

Taka disappeared. Raven looked all over and didn't see her. "I'm so done with you!"

**CRACK!**Raven was whiped in the back, blood flew from her mouth and stained her fox mask. She took out her staff and said,"_Kitsune Harakara!"_

"Need the help, Red?" Kira asked. "Guys, _Kitsune Hanto!_"

All eight nine tailed foxes went after Taka, but she cracked her whip and all of them stopped. "I can tame any animal!"

"As if, guys, attack!" they all sprung forth at Taka (she was seen) but she yelled,"Tekkai! You can't break it, even if you try all at once."

"That leaves me no choise." Raven said gravely, she taped her staff on the ground and switched to demon point. The Brethren was gone because they all transfered to her tail, which acted as her power sorce. "_Oni Kitsune._"

"Nine tailed fox?" Taka said. "This is going to be interesting...Oh, I see Jyabura underneath."

(Below)

"That was a powerful kick, but it's not strong enough." Jyabura said. "Shiranui, finish off the girl!"

"Hai." Shiranui said, switching to hybrid point like Jyabura. "Rankyaku: Lupus Four!" The cut took the form of four wolves and charged at Luna. She flew threw the wall and flew to the other side of the building.

"Luna-chan!" Sanji said, through the dust, he saw Luna in beast point jump across and slam into Shiranui.

"Go take care of Jyabura, I'll handle her!" Luna said, with Sanji's head turned, Jyabura took his chance and punched Sanji through the wall.

"Your friend is strong, but she won't stand a chance against Shiranui, I thaught her my secrets to kill. When she lost against the girl, I retaught her everything so she can be at my level. The false okami won't stand a chance, much less, even have a chance to call herself a hunter." Jyabura said, Sanji got up.

"Three corrections in that statement." Sanji said. "One: She's not a false okami, she's the real hunter. Two: I taught her everything I know to beat you and all those other shitty CP9. And three: Luna-chan's not my friend, she's my girlfriend. I dout you even have one."

"I...I lost her!" Jyabura said. "Anyway, enough of this shit, Shiranui can test if she is stronger by killing your girls, after that, I'll send you to hell."

(Jyabura's Room)

Shiranui sent Luna up in the air, but then she tried to do Brochette and missed.

"Yet another match. Two powerful hunters locked in an epic battle until a judgement day and trumpets sound? Hmph?" Shiranui asked.

"Or you can surrender." Luna suggested, she kicked Shiranui over and over, but no breakthrough.

"I had now mastered the six forms, that's why I'm immune." Shiranui said, Luna switched to hybrid point and chased her tail. "You can't break my tekkai now."

"Laugh it up...cause I still can." Luna said, "Diable Coeur!"

"Try." Shiranui said. "Tekkai!" Luna ran at Shiranui and licked her in the face, nothing. "See?"

"Diable Coeur: Okami Fang!" Luna said.

"Tekkai Kenpo: Wolf Bullet!" Shiranui said, putting her hands together and hardening them, then she punched Luna out the door. Ironically, Luna flew past Sanji, Shiranui joined Jyabura on the railing. Both Straw Hats crashed into the wall together while the two assassins howled. "Done."

"Don't get too cocky." Jyabura said. "You lose that way. Geppou!"

"Geppou!" Shiranui said, they both jumped together across and the said,"Rankyaku: Lupus Four!"

Eight cuts came at Sanji and Luna, whose Diable Coeur had gone out, and exploded. Blood everywhere as Dawn and Dusk watched from below.

(First Floor)

"You think they're all right?" Dawn said.

"This is an anime, of course they're alright!" Dusk said, Chehero and Maca spoted them and sprung an attack. Chehero was a lion, Maca rode on her back with two swords in her hands. Dusk switched to beast point. "Get on my back, we'll do this the midevil way, only with cats instead of horses."

Dawn nodded and got on Dusk's back. The two big cats charged at each other while their riders had their swords out, they slashed away. Chehero bit Dusk's neck while Maca slashed her swords at both girls, they fell with blood flowing from their wounds.

(Chehero's Room)

Raven's eyes grew red in anger until she had enough of the game of hide and seek. She gave a fierce roar and attacked where her instinct told her...in front, that's where Taka is. Raven sprung forth and locked her jaws on Taka.

"Tekkai!" Taka said, hardening her body, but Raven's jaws managed to crush Taka's ribs, she spat out blood. "What kind of animal is this?"

"A demon." Raven growled, she continued to bite until Taka dropped the key. "Yosha! I won...better do this!" Raven swung around until she released Taka and threw her out the window. She picked up the key and went out.


	4. Demon Wolf, meet Matt

Disclaimmer: heh, me no own one piece

Chapter 4: Demon Wolf, meet Matt

Dawn and Dusk laid on the ground knocked out, Chehero roared while Maca gave a smirk. Raven jumped down from a floor and saw Dawn and Dusk, she glared at the two assassins, then looked up, she saw Sanji preforming Diable Jambie and sending Jyabura to the floor.

"**Flambage Shot!**" Sanji said, Jyabura crashed into the floor with blood all over. "Cooking is a gift from god, spices are from the devil...I guess that was too spicy for you."

"Where's Luna?" Raven asked.

"She's still fighting." Sanji said, he looked up.

(Above)

"Tekkai!" Shiranui said, Luna was at her last stand. "You must be under great pain, but too bad. Your friend killed sensei, so I'll avenge him..."

"No, you won't. There are things people can and can't do."

"Yeah, and one of them is you beating me."

"Wrong, I can beat you, but I can't. I swore, the last time I tried, it cost Sanji-kun his left eye."

"What are you mumbling about, your will?"

"No...your will..along with your nakamas'"

"Huh?"

"State your sins."

Shiranui started to laugh. "You're the most oddest okami I fought! Sins? I never commited such things. Remember, I work with the CP9...we do what is good."

"The things you that you do, you claim they are good, but they're sins." Luna said, she removed the necklace, but she held the pendant. "You kidnap my friends. You took my pet. You even attempted to kill me in a blind shot."

"I asked for a fair fight, you accepted and won, now's for revenge! That's how it works."

Luna took out the key and showed it.

"Bastard! My key!"

"You did had it in your open palm." Luna said. "Sanji-kun, catch!" She tossed it over the rail, Sanji caught it in his hand. "Give it to Dusk, and have her free Loki!"

(Below)

"Okey, who knows where Loki is?" Sanji asked Raven, she took it. "Get him."

"What she doin'?" Raven asked.

"Breaking a vow."

"Which one, your eternal love for each other or-"

"Shut up! I love her, but I didn't marry her!...yet."

"WHAT?! LUNA! SANJI WANTS TO-" Sanji covered her mouth. "YOU!"

(Above)

"Wolves commit sin." Luna said.

"Okami stands for justice and wisdom. I bet you aren't even smart enough to fight me."

"And I forgot to add one thing...wolves are demons themselves." Luna chucked the necklace down below. After a few seconds, she reverted to her demon form. "I only got a few seconds to control this...so I suggest you run."

"So you turn into a bigger beast. Gasp...no difference."

Luna's eyes turned yellow, she got on her fours and charged. She locked her jaws on Shiranui, then tossed her. The assassin-in-training flew out the building. "Oniah..." Shiranui said.

"Raven, you go, I'll handle this!" Sanji said.

"Nuh-uh, you save Robin!" Raven said, Sanji stood there for a moment, thengave her the pendant. "Thanks."

He left while Luna jumped from several floors above, she saw Chehero and Maca, then grabbed them.

"Down, doggie!" Chehero ordered, but she was chucked out along with Maca. "I HATE dogs!"

(Luffy vs. Lucci)

"Gum-Gum-"

**CRASH!**

Maca flew through the building Lucci and Luffy were fighting in. "Chehero?" Lucci said.

"I had failed you, sensei," Chehero said, she passed out.

(Spandam vs. Robin)

"ONNNNIIIIAAAAAHHHHH!" Shiranui said, she flew past Spandam, she pointed at him and yelled,"I QUIT!!"

"Where's Jyabura and the rest?!" Spandam said, Shiranui was too far away. "Nevermind, I am close to completing my goal anyway, I don't need those kids."

(Meanwhile)

"Key, key, key, key." Raven murmured, she searched through all of them until she found the right one. She shoved it in the hole and wreched the door open. Loki came stumbling out. "Got ya!"

"Thanks, let's go find Luna."

"No, she's way to dangerous in demon form!"

"Fool...that denomic angle!"

"Denomic angle? Matt calls her that."

"Angle, er...bastard!" Loki said, switching to horse point and raced off.

(Elsewhere)

Loki found Luna panting, Raven fallowed. "Get the other two, I'll finish this...Human Point!"

"What?!" Dusk said, there, dressed as Alucard from Hellsing, stood Matt. He took out a gun and fired at Luna, who fell over. "Matt?!"

"You people shouldn't have seen me." Matt said, he switched to eagle point and carried Luna (who's in human point) in his talons. "Get out of here and find Usopp, he'll get you guys out. Buster Call has been summond. I'll take Luna and catch up!"

"How'd you get here?" Dawn asked.

"I'll explain later!" Matt/Loki said, flying away. "Usopp's better have the ship ready..."


	5. A Vampire's Here, ignore it

Disclaimmer: i wish i own one piece...then I'l take over the wolrd!

Chapter 5: A Vampire's here, ignore it

"Everybody, jump!" Usopp said.

"Are you mad? We'll drown!" Dusk said, looking below.

"Trust me, someone's waiting for you!"

"_Should_ we trust him?" Dawn asked.

"Who else is there to help? Jump first, think later." Raven said, jumping ahead. "Yahoo!"

"She's right." Zoro said, he jumped too, everyone else fallowed. They all landed on the Going Merry.

"Okey, let's go!" Dawn said, the waves rocked until a large tidal wave crashed against the ship.

"Need a little help?" Franky said. "Coup de Vent!"

The Merry blasted off...

(Meanwhile/ several days later)

Now...it is time to screw with everyone...

"W-wait!" Matt screeched a few miles away, flapping his wings as hard as he could. "You forgot meeee!!"

"You hear something?" Dusk asked from her spot. They all made it back to Water 7, but Luna and Loki were missing.

"You've been hearing things a lot lately." Zoro said.

"I wouldn't say that, she talks to the dead, her mom's a psychic." Dawn said, walking past him with her board.

"Eep! It's Dusk!" said a bunch of kids. "Do a trick!"

"Which shall I do? The vanishing act of the reappearing act?" Dusk said, taking out a large white sheet.

"Make a horse appear!"

"No, a bird!"

"A Pegasuses!"

_"That's Loki..._Okey..." Dusk said. "Eye of a tiger, Fang of a wolf, bring what these children seek!"

(Elsewhere)

"How much farther?" Luna asked, they suddenly were covered in a white sheet. "The heck?!"

"LUNA!" Dusk said, removing the covers. "How'd you-"

"Where am I?"

"Water 7, I didn't know it would work, but it did! You're back!"

"Cool!" said the kids, they left. "Did you see the girl?"

"She's pretty."

"I like the bird."

"Get Chopper." Luna said, she showed Dusk her left hand. It was bleeding and it had a bullet hole. "Someone shot me."

"That was me." Matt said, he switched to human form.

"Ack! Alucard!...wait, you shot me!"

"No duh, you were in demon form."

"You could've aimed for my leg!"

"Yer too fast!"

(That Next Day)

"Thanks Chopper." Luna said, Dusk gave her the necklace. "So..I don't hear any Luna-chwans, Nami-swans, or Robin-chwans...where's Sanji?"

"He's in his room...acting all emo since you didn't leave with us." Raven said.

"Remember, Luna, don't do any damage to your left hand." Chopper said.

"You mean I can't play my guitar, ride Loki, or anything?"

"Yeah, sorry."

Luna got up and went to Matt, then slapped him. "Hey, I saved you!"

"Thanks to you, I can't play at any gigs!...if you excuse me, I need to fetch our cook from hell." Luna said, leaving.

"Sooooooooo...how'd you get here?" Nami said. "Riding accident, drowning?"

"Sleeping." Matt said, removing his hat. "I was reading Hellsing one night, then I came here. And...I ate the Ban Ban no Mi."

Everyone in the crew backed away.

"The what?" Raven asked.

"He's a banpaia, a vampire!" Chopper said, everyone else backed away.

"Cool." Luffy said. "Can ya fly?"

"FOOL! OF COURSE I CAN!" Matt yelled. "As long as I'm an animal with wings."

"Where's the little bastard that shot my Luna-chan?!"

Matt took out a gun similar to Alucard's and pointed it at Sanji, he faced the crew. (so, he's looking to his left while his gun is pointing to his right.) "One move and you're dead, cook-kun."

"What's up with the British accent?" Luna asked.

"That's the thing with my fruit powers...they gave to me!"

"I don't care who you are, but you have to open fire on Luna-chan's wrist!"

"Shhhh, Sanji-kun, it's all right, I'll get better." Luna said. "Just don't kill my band manager."

"Whatever you say, Luna-chan!"

"As for you." Luna said, turning to Matt. "Stop pointing that thing at him, or I'll kick you through the roof."

"Hey, hey, hey, is that how you treat your horses?" Matt said.

"Huh?"

"I am Loki...your pet...I only took that form so I can be in the girls room." Matt said.

"Get out!" the girls, excluding Robin, yelled. "Pervert!"

"C'mon, girls, I wasn't doing anything like _that, _it's not like we're in school. I mean, yeah, I tried to date her, but she keeps turning me down, so I went to the girl's locker room and stole Luna's-"

"_Bra_vo, mister band manager." Sanji said. "You managed to piss Luna-chan off..."

"THAT WAS YOU?!" Luna yelled. "Luffy kick this idiot out of the nakama!"

"I like him, he's cool." Luffy said.

"Then I'll have to kick you out myself!" Luna said, she attempted to kick him, but missed.

"The best part about being a vampire is...I can't be killed!" Matt said. "I'm Alucard!"

"Uh, no you aren't! Chopper, get me a cross!" Luna said, Chopper did as he was told. Luna held it out and walked up towards Matt.

"I'm in human form, so sunlight and all that anti-vampire crap can't affect me." Matt said.

"This is hopeless." Dawn said. "Let's just start the party...I'm heading for the pool."

"Yeah, me too." Nami said.

"Nami-swan in a bikini, count me in!" Sanji said.

"I'll just rest." Luna said.

"C'mon, let's get you ready for your act." Raven said, dragging Dusk by her tail.

"I'm a musician, not a circus animal!" Dusk said.

"We lost all our instrument in the Merry, thanks to you."

"Actually." Matt said, he pulled out the band's instruments from his pocket.

"Is that a trick?!" everyone yelled as he took out Dawn's drums.

"Yep! I'll give them to you...if I get to be treated as nakama."

"Sure." Dawn said.

"Agreed!"

"You give up?" Luna asked.

"I need to practice."

(Later)

"Yay, barbecue!" Luffy said, taking some meat.

"I'd like mine rare." Dusk and Luna said.

"Yes, Luna-chwan!"

"Me too." Matt said.

"Get it yourself, banpaia." Sanji said, Matt left him.

"Shity cook."

"Shity banaia."

"No fightin'." Luna said.

"Yes, Luna-chan!" the two said, they glared at each other. "That's my line!"

"Luna, play some music!" Luffy said.

"Baka, she can't play!" Nami said. "Her wrist was shot!"

"You guys go and play." Luna said. "I'll sit this gig out."

"Yeah, let's just play." Raven said, getting her guitar, Dawn took the drums while Dusk had her bass. "One two three four!"

The start playing Vacation (it's from Pokemon, the 1st movie. I hadn't seen it in a while)

"Hey, guys, a party!"

"Yay!"

(That Night)

The whole place was filled with party animals. Sogeking was singing while the band played with him...for the fisrt 50 songs, they stopped and let him go on by himself. Dusk was jumping through hoops of fire while Raven gambled with Dawn. Luna was being chased by kids in beast point.

"Doggie!"

"Luna-chan, don't fall in the water."

The kids tackled her and she laughed. Nami and Robin sat nearby on a table, Luna managed to crawl over to Nami, who scratched Luna behind her ears.

"I can tame any animal!" Raven lied, she cracked a whip and Dusk jumped through the hoop. "Now, be a good kitty and jump over water!"

"I love tigers!" said a kid. Another group of kids watch Sanji cook food in awe. Luna, yet again, managed to crawl over to the front row with two small kids on her back, she collapsed in front and watched Sanji. Matt, however, was firing up into the air.

"Hey, banaia," said Zoro said. "Are you even good at shooting things?"

"I'm better then Luna, see?" Matt said, he aimed his gun at an empty bottle and looked the other way, then fired. There were more empty bottles set up in a row, he fired some more. "They don't call me Alucard for nothing!..they stopped playing, might as well take over."

"What?"

Matt saw Raven's electric guitar and started to play along with Sogeking. Luna switched to human point and listened. "Urgh, his playing sucks."

"It sounds fine to me." Sanji said, Luna went over to Matt.

"What's wrong?"

"The way you play the guitar." Luna said, taking her own guitar (it's black, cause it matches Sanji) and strumming it very hard, Matt covered his ears. The party pausesd for a moment. "Hmph, you can't be a musician...if you're afraid of loud noises."

"Awesome, a Solo Battle!" Raven said.

"What's a Solo Battle?" Luffy asked.

"It's when two people compete with eachother with the same instruments in a contest to see who's better! At school, we hold it every week in the gym, it's pretty fun, yet the players can play it dirty since there's no rules."

"It sounds fun."

"Luna, your hand!" Chopper said. "You can't play."

"As long as my fingers move, I'm fine."

"But if you do a certain thing, your wrist would rip off!"

"Fine, stupid deer..."

"I'm a reindeer!"

"Whatever, everyone, return to partying!"

"YOSH!" everyone yelled.

"It's just a vampire, ignore it." Sanji said, Luna placed down her guitar and kicked Matt into the pool.

"Help! I can't swim!...(glug, glug)..."

"Save yourself."

* * *

Banpaia means vampire in Japanese


	6. City of Romance and Crimes, WTF!

Disclaimmer: I don't own one piece

Chapter 6: City of Romance and Crimes, WTC?!

"This place is like Alto Mare from Pokemon!" Raven said, Luna carried Raven on her back while they traveled next to Sanji and Chimney. Several days passed since the party and Luna's hand finally recovered from the bullet Matt shot.

"Drop it, we're not in Pokemon...we're in Venice!" Luna said. "The City of Romance!"

"Drop that, Venice is known for it's transportation."

"You really need to pay attention in history class." Sanji stopped at this one shop. "What's here?"

"Just some salt I need." Sanji said, placing it in the cart, they heard a loud thud and Matt came out of a store.

"Out! If you don't feel like paying for my wares then leave them here!" said the shop keeper, he tossed a vase at Matt. "Out, you mangy cur!"

"Fine, old gezer." Matt said, rubbing his head. "Hey, you guys."

Luna came up to Matt. "What'd you do this time?"

"Erm, you know the instruments I gave you a while back? They aren't really yours..."

"What?!"

"I rented them out."

"So you lost them in the storm?"

"...that is correct."

"What kind of band manager are you?!" the two girls yelled.

"Unless we get our instruments back, you're fired!" Luna said.

"I have the money, I just don't wanna spend a lot."

"You're waaaayyyy to cheap for my taste." Raven said.

"Bastard, when we get back, I'm still not going out with you-"

"**DUUUUUSSSSK!!"** Zoro roared as he raced down the street, Dusk was on the other side in beast point with a bottle of hair dye in her mouth. "**I'M GONNA SKIN YOU ALIVE AND USE YOUR FUR AS A ROBE!"**

"Oh, look at Dusk go!" Matt said, everyone turned as he vanished. Sanji fell over crying.

"Why are you crying?" Chimney asked.

"Marimoooo-ho-ho!!" Sanji howled, pointing st Zoro's head as he zoomed past them. Everyone looked at Zoro's head...his hair was dyed pink.

"Ah man! I should've done that!" Raven pouted.

"I got the idea from Skiiieeeee!" Dusk yelled as she jumped onto the rooftops.

"Who's Skie?" Sanji asked.

"The best fan fic writer ever born." Luna said. "Marimo has anger management...How'd you put up with him?"

"Don't ask." Sanji said, getting up.

"I'm hungry." Raven said.

"Me too." Chimney moaned.

"You just had candy!" Luna said.

"Take me to the Candy Factory at the mall."

"Wish for it yourself." Luna said, dumping Raven on the ground. "My back is hurting...cause you're heavy."

"You're saying I'm fat?!"

"Yep."

"I weigh half of Sanji's weight!"

"In your dreams...Sanji-kun, my paws hurt, wanna carry me the rest of the way?" Luna asked, switching to human point.

"With pleasure!" Sanji said, letting Luna on his back. "Raven you pull the cart."

"But I-"

"Do it!"

"Fine." Raven grumbled something about getting Sanji and Luna to marry as she went under the bar and pushed. "Stupid couple...go make out in a room!"

"Raven!" Luna said.

"Did I hear someone's back hurting and needs a lift?" said the voice of Matt, he appeared in horse point. "I can carry you."

"You could've made an entrance ten minutes ago." Sanji said, sweatdropping. "Besides, crap-banpaia, I'm carrying her."

"Oh, I insist." Matt said, he went under Sanji and got him on his back. Luna slid down Sanji's in the prosses and ended up behind Sanji. "I'll take you around."

"Let's go." Sanji said, kicking Matt's sides. They came across a bridge.

"This place is pretty." Luna said.

"Aw, crap, they're gonna kiss." Raven said as she covered Gonbe and Chimney's eyes while Sanji and Luna kissed.

"I wanna see." Chimney said.

"Help." Matt said as he was forced to stop. "Get these two off me..."

"Hey! It's the Straw Hat's musician and cook!" said reporters and photographers.

"Mind if we take pictures?"

"No." Luna said, still holding Sanji and going back to kissing him. "It'll cost you though."

"So how long have you been together?"

"Since we were in Arabasta." Sanji said.

"How'd you get together?"

"I dared Luna to kiss him in Alabasta." Raven said.

"Hey it's Raven, what part of the crew are you?" a man asked Raven.

"The musician. I'm in Luna's band." Raven said.

"Oi, you're forgetting me!" Matt said. "I'm the band manager, Alucard!" He struck a pose and more cameras flashed.

"Oh, a horse that talks?"

"No, I ate a fruit that allows me to turn into one."

"Can ya tell us, kid?"

"Ban Ban no Mi, but no worries, I don't bite!"

"Sure..." Chimney said.

(Next Day)

"Morning, you two are on the paper." Nami said, handing Sanji, who had Luna on his lap, the news paper. "Front page."

There, right there, on the front page was Sanji and Luna kissing while riding Matt.

"Ew." Dusk said.

"Ooooo, we got ourselves a celebrity couple in the house!" Dawn said. "Woot woot!"

"Can it." Luna blushed, smacking her friend.

"Yosha, I made it front page!" Matt said. "Girls are gonna go wild for me...watch and learn, Sanji."

"I highly dout that." Sanji said as Matt opened the door, he stepped out of the gates and was immediately surrounded by fan girls.

"Get a load of banpaia." Zoro said. "He's flirting with about 50 girls at once...wait, how'd ero-cook get on the front page?!"

"None-ya!" Luna said.

"ALUUUCAARRRD!" said an old lady. "YOU LOOOK CUUUUUTE!"

"Aw, mommy!" Matt cried as he ran off, fans chased after him. "I wanted the chicks!"

"Grab his boxers!"

"I'll take his shirt!"

"He doesn't have a shirt!"

"Then I'll jack his shoes!"

"Eep! I got his shoe!"

"See, what did I say?" Sanji asked as he smiled. Then he paused. "Wait...I want all the sexy girls go after me!" He dropped Luna on the ground and ran out. "MEELLLOOORRRIIINEE!!"

"Ow, he can't treat me like that." Luna said, rubbing her head. "Might as well go and join, I could use a run."

"Oi! It's Luna!"

"The Okami?"

"She looks sexy!"

"Oh god, I feel like Britine Spears going down Sunset Blvd." Luna said, switching to beast point and running off.

"Hey, I wanna picture!"

"Take her collar!"

Luna jumped to the rooftops, there, she ran into Sanji. With a loud smack in the faces, both fell over to the other side and land in the water. Sanji grabbed Luna and pulled her to a small dock. She shook her fur dry while a herd of fans saw them, she took Sanji's collar by her mouth then sped off.

"Wolf Stance!" Luna said, she sped faster while tears flew from her eyes. "I'm too young to die!"

(Meanwhile)

"So we managed to survive one day." Luna panted, falling to the couch in the band's private room, Sanji fell over next to her. "We're so lucky we aren't in Hollywood."

"Why that?"

"Fans are larger and famous stars only last two seconds before they're robbed."

(Outside)

"I'M BORED!" Raven nearly bellowed from outside the room. "LUNA?! WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?!"

"Shush, Raven." Nami said. "It's bad enough to have Luffy act like that."

"Where's ero-cook?" Zoro said.

"In the band's room." Chopper said.

"And okami?"

"In the band's room." Robin said. "We saw them run inside there."

"Ooooooo." Dawn, Raven, and Dusk crooned. "Someone's gonna have fun tonight!"

"Are you three perverts?" Nami asked.

"No, we just like to out embarassing things."

"Oh."

(Inside)

"Your friends are perverts." Sanji said, he had his ear on the door.

"Don't say that, you hadn't seen Matt yet. One time-"

The window opened and Matt came in...only in his boxers.

(Outside)

Luna: Oh my god!

Sanji: Please, how'd you get here?!

Matt, unaware of where he was going, accidently touch Luna's-

Luna: Don't touch me there! Perv!

There was a loud thud.

"What the hell?" Lufffy said, passing by. "Hey, I hear noises!"

"Urgh." Dusk said, she and everyone else crowded around the door.

Meanwhile, Matt switched to vampire point

Sanji: I was only joking.

Luna reached in her dresser and took out a cross, Matt went out the window and Sanji closed it.

Sanji: You think someone heard that?

Luna: No...we're the only ones here

"They think they're alone!" Raven said.

Sanji: Where were we?

Dusk rolled her eyes and left. "I'm gonna be sick."

"Are you really sure they're gonna do it?" Chopper asked.

"They're alone in the room, we heard thuds, screaming and moaning, yeah." Nami said. "They are."

"What's it?" Luffy asked.

"Moron." Zoro said. "You're stupid."

Luna went over to the window and looked ouside

Luna: Wanna see it?

Sanji: Sure.

"Aw, shit." Dawn said. "I'm not sleeping there."

"What's Luna talking about?" Luffy said.

"Shut up and maybe you'll learn something." Zoro said.

"This doesn't count as education, swordsmen." Robin said.

Luna: What time is it?

Sanji: 10 o'clock

Luna: It's too soon, maybe later

"Yes! They didn't do it!" Chopper said.

Luna: It's getting hot.

Sanji: It's been like that after the storm.

"Someone's gonna lose their shirt." Robin said.

"That's it, I'm going in!" Luffy said, he opened he door and saw Luna and Sanji kissing.

"What the hell, crap-kid?! Get out!" Sanji barked.

"Were you guys listening in?" Luna said.

"Yosh." they all said.

"We heard...things." Raven said. "Disturbing things..."

"And thuds!" Luffy said.

"Oh. Matt flew in-"

"Sure...we get it." Nami said.

"So." Dusk said, entering. "You didn't?"

"No." the two said, Dusk pointed at both. "What?"

"VIRGINS!!" Dusk laughed. "Oh man, I always wanted to yell that. "VIRGINS! VIRGIN! Whaaaa! Hahahahahahaha! Gimmie a V! Gimmie an I! Gimmie an R! Gimmie a G! Gimmie an I! Gimmie an N!! Waz that spell-?! Hack!"

Luna and Sanji grabbed Dusk by her neck.

"Hey, let her finish." Zoro said.

"Finish that cheer, I swear...WE'RE GONNA SEND YOU STRAIT TO HELL!" Sanji and Luna roared, everyone else ran out of the room.

"Virgin..." Dusk whispered.

"YOU'RE SCREWED!!"

Raven bolted the door behind her and everyone stayed quiet until the banging, the hammering, and everyother sound effect subsided. Sanji threw the door opened (Raven flew into the bathroom due to the pissed cook) and whipped his hands. Luna brushed her mouth and continued.

"So..." Sanji said happily. (coughmoodswingscough) "Who wants what?"

"Where's tiger?" Luffy asked, he looked inside. Dusk had her tail nailed into the wall, her body was covered in a plastic bag. "Whoa!"

"I seeee dead peeeooopleee." Dusk moaned.

"Oh good lord!" Chopper said, Raven appeared dressed as Sherlock Homes, she took out the magnifine glass and inspected the room.

"Sherlock Raven at your service." Raven said in a Scottish accent. "Step away, deer-"

"I'm a reindeer!"

"This a cime scene." Raven said, taking out the yellow tape. Robin came in.

"What do you know, she's murdered."

"Young lady, do you know what had happened?"

"Cook-san and wolf-chan did this."

"WATTSON! I mean...DAWN!" Raven yelled, Dawn came in dressed as Wattson. "Collect evidence and we shall solve this murder."

"Hai!" Dawn said.

"I'm still alive you know!" Dusk said, but Dawn ignored her.

"We shall call this...The Murder of a Tiger." Raven proclaimed.

"This isn't making any sence." Nami said.

"Where were you at 10 this night, lady?"

"Listening to you talking about Sanji and Luna doing-"

"Say no more! I am listing you as a suspect!"

"Now you're just retarded," Nami said, Raven was handcuffing her. "I didn't do this!"

"Oh...my bad!" Raven said, she uncuffed her and let her go.

"Some detective you are." Chopper said, Raven and Dawn ran off to the dinner table, where everyone else was eating.

"It was...the butler!" Raven yelled, pointing at Sanji and Luna. "And his wife!"

"Lay off the crack, guys, I'm still alive!" Dusk yelled, she managed to get down. She was crawling over to her seat.

"Eeeek! Dead girl's alive!" Raven yelled, running around. "Wattson, I mean, Dawn shoot her down!"

The door flew open and Paulie came in.

"We got a murder on our hands." Paulie said, everything went quiet.

"Why are you telling us?" Sanji said. "You could report this to someone else, you know."

"It was Alucard! He's now really dead, but he's missing!"

"He's always getting lost." Luna said.

"No, I mean-"

"WAS HE MURDERED, WAS HE KIDNAPPED, WAS HE LOST?!" Raven said. "Say either!"

"He was murdered."

"You could've just say that." Dawn said.

"We him at my office-"

"Hello ladies." Matt said, Paulie screamed. "What?"

"Your supposed to be dead!"

"Am I not?" Matt said.

"Case closed." Raven said, taking out a pipe and smoking.

"**YOU DIDN'T SOLVE ANYTHING!!"** everyone yelled at her. **"YOU'RE THE WORST DETECTIVE IN TOWN!!"**

"I try," Raven said, shrugging. "It _was_ the butler and his wife."


	7. Higher Bounties & Leaving Water7

Disclaimer: I DON'T own One Piece

Chapter 7: Higher Bounties and Leaving Water 7

"Straw Hats!"

"What?" Luffy asked, the Franky Family came.

"Huff...New bounties!" Zambai said, he laid them on the ground. "Monkey D. Muffy: 300,000,000 beli..."

The captain smiled. "Cool!"

"Pirate Hunter Zoro: 120,000,000 beli..."

Zoro smirked.

"Burgler Cat Nami: 16,000,000 beli..."

Nami stood there, shocked. "I...me...no...bounty..."

"Cotton Candy Lover Chopper: 50 beli..."

"50?!" Chopper said.

"Demon Child Robin: 80,000,000 beli..."

Robin smiled at her poster. Sanji stood there...his back was bent as he stared at his. "Who is this?!"

"Black Leg Sanji (failed photo attemps): 77,000,000 beli."

"I don't see me." Sanji said

"Luna the Hunter: 70,000,000 beli."

Luna smiled as she said,"I'm gettin good."

"Dusk of the Night: 60,000,000 beli."

"I'm lower than Luna this time?!"

"Surfer Dawn: 55,000,000 beli."

"Surfer? At least I got a good title." Dawn said.

There was a picture of Matt dressed up as Alucard, he was aiming at Luna (who was in demon point) as she jumped from nowhere; he had the famous smile on him. "Alucard: 400,000,000 beli..."

"How'd you get higher than all of us?!" everyone asked.

"Let's see, I harrassed Califa and the Devil Hunters, called every person a mother f(bleep)er, burned down a million Government flags, blew up 17 warships, bit several people, mocked CP9, and nearly tore Spanda's head off." Matt said, everyone stared at him. "...okey, I spilled coffee on him instead."

"There's no way you could've done all that." Zoro said.

"Wait, there's a smudge," Robin said. "Alucard: 39,000,000 beli..."

"Ha ha!" Sanji said. Alucard sulked in the corner. "You didn't do all that shit!"

"I wanted a higher bounty..."

Last picture had Raven in her fox mask, the Nine Tailed Brethren surrounded her as she held her staff. "Nine Tailed Raven: 45,000,000 beli...those foxes are wanted too, 20,000,000 each."

"That means I'm worth...over 100,000,000 beli." Raven said looking over the individual posters of each fox.

(Inside)

"So...we're leaving already?" Matt asked, fixing his gloves. Sanji was on the ground. "Cheer up, fight a little slower next time."

"What part of this picture looks like me?!" Sanji asked holding up the poster.

"It really looks like you." Zoro said, Sanji came up to him and spoke in some random language.

"Mumph...muffu...mushi no...muuunnnph!"

"I can't understand you."

"Mmmumphhh pft!"

"Nada." Dawn said, holding her board and walking out with everyone else. "Must be pig latin."

"If it were, I'd understand." Dusk said.

"I wanna different bounty!" Chopper said.

"Try harder." Luffy said

"Sanji's not moving." Raven said, Luna sighed as she switched to beast point and grabbed his collar, she dragged him out. "He can walk on his own, you know."

"You wanna carry him?"

"No."

(Later, Dock One)

"Cooooool!" Matt said, looking at the Sunny. "She looks better than the manga!'

"We're in the manga." Dawn said.

"Hey, hey, hey!" Matt said, Sanji jumped him. "What's wrong?!" Sanji poured holy water into Matt's mouth and made him drink it. "Eek! My powers are gone!"

"Sanji-kun!" Luna said. "Why that?"

"You told me last night to drink this so he won't come with us. By the time the water is gone from his body, we're gone."

"So we're going to leave him?" Raven said.

"That's the idea!" Dusk said. "We plotted it so he can't come and sexually harass Luna and us!"

"Just case he's a perv doesn't mean we ditch him." Nami said.

"He's nakama!" Luffy said.

"Besides, I think it's a good thing we should leave him." Zoro said, everyone stopped. "It's one thing to have Luna in her demon form and keep her on board, but it's another to have a vampire."

"So what, we manage to handle Luna, but why not Matt? We didn't mind him-" Chopper said.

"That's because he didn't give his true identity." Zoro said. "Sanji's not the only one who knows about Zoan fruits having demon versions. When Matt ate the tongue tongue fruit, he didn't explode like I thought he would. Devil fruit users only it one fruit. He had the ban ban fruit before that, it gave him imortality."

"Of course!" Robin said. "Studies show that those who eat two die."

"Correct." Matt said. "I'll be a good vampire, just please don't maroon me here."

"So he can't die no matter what." Dusk said, she took out a gun and shot Matt, the bullet went through him. "Vampires don't die with normal weapons."

"Telling you, I am Alucard."

"When the user get a ban ban fruit, he/she would have nearly every power of other devil fruits." Zoro said. "But the user must drink blood, that's why he's dangerous."

"I can stay in human form." Matt said.

"It doesn't matter, you shouldn't come with us." Luna said, getting on board. "Captain, it's your choise."

"That's up to Matt, if he's too dangerous like Zoro said, it's his problem." Luffy said. There was a long pause.

"Fine, if you don't need me, I won't go." Matt said.

"Anyway." Iceburg said. "You have to take Franky by force if you want him to come."

(Later)

"Now!" Dusk yelled, Zoro and Sanji grabbed Franky's arms and pulled him towards the cannon, he stopped. Luna appeared out of nowhere and kicked him inside.

"Stop this!" Franky said. "What the hell is-aaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrgggghhhh!" they blasted him off.

"He's gonna get there before his pants!" Chopper said.

"Grab on!" Luffy said. "Gum Gum...ROCKET!"

"Waaaaahhhh!" Chopper screamed as he and Luffy flew in the air.

"I need to wash my eyes after this." Dusk said.

"C'mon, let's get back to Dock One." Zoro said, the four ran off.

"You guys are way too slow." Luna said as she and Dusk switched to beast point: Luna took Sanji while Dusk had Zoro. "Wolf Stance!"

"Stripe Sprint!" Dusk yelled, the two ran faster.

(Dock One)

"Dous Fluer." Robin said, crossing her arms on her chest, two arms appeared on Franky. "Grab!" She clutched her hands and Franky started to well...you know.

"Aaaaaaahhhh!" Franky yelled. "It hurts!"

"You have no furture!" Raven yelled.

"Robin, please don't turn him into a woman!" Luffy said. "I still want him to be a man when he joins us!"

"My eyes just hurt watching this!" Chopper exclaimed.

"Then don't look." Dawn said. Matt stood alone laughing at Franky.

"You're getting pwned by a woman." Matt laughed.

"S-shut up!"

(Later)

"...Fine, I pity a ship without a shipwright...I'll join you." Franky said after the lon scene that i couldn't type up sine it was too long. Luna, Sanji, Dusk, and Zoro appeared.

"The Navy's going after us!" Zoro yelled, holding Dusk's fur.

"We gotta shove off!" Sanji said, Garp's fleet of ships appeared. Dusk, Franky and Luna hopped on board while Matt held to Dusk's tail.

"Get off!" Luna yelled, kicking Matt to shore while they sailed off. "See you at school!"

"PLEASE!" Matt yelled, Usopp came sprint past him. "Usopp?"

"Wait for me! Chopper's, what a good day! How about fishing?! No? Gah, maybe later. Let me come with you!"

"Hey, I wanna beg too!" Matt said, running after Usopp.

(Thousand Sunny)

"I heard Usopp!" Chopper and Raven said. "He's begging."

"I don't hear anything!" Luffy said.

"Zoro? You heard him!"

"It's too loud." Zoro said, slicing a cannonball in half.

"Liars! Guys! What about Matt?!" Chopper said. "He's begging too!"

"Chopper, we can't take him." Nami said. "Just leave him, even Luna and her friends agreed."

"Not Luffy!"

"I still want Matt back, but if he doesn't want to come, then oh well!" Luffy said.

"I just heard him beg!"

"Begging won't help." Dawn said. "It was Luna's choise to maroon him."

"Why'd you do it in the first place Luna?"

"I won't let him back into my band until he says something we need to hear." Luna said.

"I'M SORRY!" Usopp yelled from shore. "TAKE ME NACK! EVEN THOUGH I WAS STUBBORN, JUST PLEASE! I'M BEGGING YOU!!"

Luffy and everyone else heard him, he stretched his arm to shore. "Grab on you idiot!"

"Luffy." Usopp said, taking his hand.

"What about me?!" Matt yelled as Usopp was flying over to the ship. "I DIDN'T MEAN WHAT I SAID EARLIER!"

"Just leave him." Sanji said.

"TAKE ME BACK!" Matt yelled, he got an idea in his head, then smiled. "I KNOW HOW TO GET US HOME, JUST LET ME BE WITH YOU! I DON'T WANNA LEAVE WITH OUT YOU GUYS! PLEASE, I PROMISE I'LL TAKE YOU HOME!"

"Finally," Luna said. "Dawn..."

"On it." Dawn said, she jumped overboard with her bord, then surfed to shore. Matt smiled.

"Are you sure?" Matt said.

"What are you waiting for, Mr. Band Manager." Dawn said, she helped im on her board, then surfed towards the ship.

"Matt!" Zoro said. "I thought you girls-"

"I only agreed to let him on board as long as he takes us home." Luna said. She looked ahead. "CANNONBALL!"

"Got that covered, okami." Franky said, the ship suddenly blasted off a mile.

"We're flying!" Luffy said. "AWESOME!"

Wheee!


	8. Singing Sweeney Todd

Disclaimers: yeah, if I owned One Piece, Sanji would be the only character

Chapter 8: Singing Sweeney Todd

"A toast!" Luffy said, holding out his drink. "To our new shipwright, Franky! And for Usopp, who has finally returned! Then for our new member Matt!"

"Luffy, he's not new." Zoro said

"We met him at Water 7."

"He'll never know the truth." Nami said, everyone toasted and went on to partying.

"Too bad you guys lost your instruments." Luffy said. "I wish you played for us."

"I know!" Rave said, taking her staff. Several instruments appeared in the bands hands (or in Dawn's case, she was sitting near her set) "See, I'm not useless."

"Ready?" Luna said after they got everything fixed.

"Hai!" her three friends said. Dawn started to the drum solo, then the other three joined in. "Ohhhhh..."

Luna started.

"_You cannot see it comming  
__always without a warning  
You need to hold on tighter,  
find a brand new start"_

"This song won them first place at a contest back home!" Matt said, Luffy, Chopper, and Usopp watched while everyone else did whatever they felt like. Raven got to do her solo with her guitar.

"They're pretty good!" Luffy said.

"Cool!" Chopper said.

"_We always have to sail on,  
out of shadows to the light beyond  
never shut your weary eyes,  
but always try to see the line._

_Can you see it in your mind  
Can you see the line  
see the line through the wheel._

_Can you seeeeee...the line?"_ Luna ended. Everyone clapped for them.

"Heh, heh, they liked me better." Dusk said, holding her bass.

"No. They barely noticed you."

"Psh. You wanna scene, I'll give you a scene." Dusk said, placing down her bass while Luna placed her guitar next to it, both switched to hybrid point and started to fight, Zoro vs. Sanji style.

"Oh well, no more shows." Raven said.

(Later)

"Yay, it's night!" Raven said, Luna slapped her own head.

"You still point out the obvious." Zoro said, they all sat in a circle. Matt got up. "What's with you?"

_"There's a great black hole like a great black pit.  
And it's filled with shit! And all the vermin who inhabit it!  
But not for long..."_ Matt sang like Johnny Depp in Sweeny Todd.

"Are you fine?" Franky asked. "Banpaia?"

Matt went over to Luna, who was sitting in Sanji's lap. He pointed at Sanji for a second and said_,"They all deserve to die!  
Tell you why, Luna Moonstone, tell you why."_ He gave a crazed smile to Sanji and showed his fangs, Sanji tried to get up and threaten, but Luna stopped him.

_"Because in the whole human race, Luna Moonstone,  
there are two kinds of men and only too.  
There's one with his foot in the proper place,  
and the one with his foot in the other one's face."_

"Matt." Dusk said.

_"Look at me, Luna Moonstone, look at you!"_

"He's getting somewhere." Zoro said.

"What do you mean?" Usopp asked.

"I'm not into singing but I think he wants to kill ero-cook."

"Cool!" Luffy said, Nami shook her head.

"Why weren't you born with a brain?" Nami sighed, Matt got up and started going around them.

_"No we all deserve to die.  
Even Sanji, Luna Moonstone, even I."_ Matt said, leaning next to Sanji's neck and had his mouth open as though to bite, Luna shoved him away..

_"Because of the lives of the wicked should be...made brief  
For the rest of us death will be a relief  
we all deserve to die."_

"It's official, he's lost his mind." Dawn said.

Matt started to sing slower. "_And I'll never kiss my Luna,  
no I'll never hug my girl to me-FINISHED!"_

"Luna's my girl, so back off." Sanji said. "Singing isn't going to win her."

"All right," Matt said, he went to Zoro. "You sir, how about a bite? You miss?" He went over to Robin.

"Come and visit your good friend Matthew." he went to Chopper, he nearly fainted.

"You sir?" he swept past Usopp and went to Luffy. "Too sir? Welcome to the grave..."

"Awesome." Luffy said.

_"I will have vengece.  
I will have salvation.  
Who miss?"_ he went to Nami then Franky. _"You sir?  
No one's in the stool, come on! Come on!  
Matthew's. waiting. I want your bleeders."_ Matt snarled at Sanji's face._ "You sir  
Anybody! Gentle men, ladies, don't be shy!"_

He finally went to the center of the circle and looked up at the sky.  
_"No one pirate, no, nor ten pirates.  
Nor a 100 can assuage me.  
I will have you, Luna!  
And I'll get Sanji back even as he gloats."_

"You're gonna kill me, like that'll ever happen." Sanji snorted.

_"In the meantime I'll practice on less honorable necks..."_ Matt dropped to his knees in front of Luna.  
_"And my Luna lies in his arms  
And I'll never kiss her again...  
but the work waits!  
I'm alive at last!  
And...I'm full of joy!!"_

There was a long pause.

"Huff...was that good enough?" Matt asked after ten awkward minutes. Luna and Sanji stared at him bluntly, along with everyone else. "Well?"

Luna got up, then patted his head. "Nice try, but singing isn't gonna cut it. I'm going to bed."

"Me too." Nami said, everyone else, minus Sanji and Matt, went to their cabin.

"_There's a great black hole like a great black pit,  
And it's filled with shit, and all the vermin inhabit it!_" Sanji said, he kicked Matt across the deck. "Bastard, don't try to take my Luna-chan away...it's your turn to watch, kid." Sanji left for the girl's cabin.

(Women's Cabin)

"Truth or dare Robin?" Dawn asked.

"Truth." Robin said.

"Who do you like on board?"

"Cook-san." Robin said after a full minute.

"Interesting" Dusk said taing notes. Sanji came in. "Eep!"

"Where's Luna-chan?" Sanji asked.

"Library." Nami said. "Why do-" he was already gone.

"They're gonna make out again." Raven said, Dawn slapped her head. "What?!"

"See if you can solve this case."

"Huh?"

"The way he talked, he didn't sound happy."

"Isn't he like that all the time?"

"No."

(Next Day)

"Why do I hear laughing?" Chopper asked as he and the rest of the crew came to the kitchen, they hung by the door(it was wide open) and saw Sanji and Luna waltzing around the place.

_"Now come here_." Sanji said.

"_do you mean it?"_ Luna sang. "_My love, everything I did, nothing, I swear,  
I thought to fear was only for my love the best. Belive me, what's dead,  
can we still be dead married?"_

_"The history of the world my pet."_ Sanji sang.

_"Oh, Sanji-kun,  
oh, Sanji-kun,  
leave it to me!"_

_"Is to learn forgiveness  
and try to forget."_

_"By beach, Sanji-kun  
we'll be comfy, cozy  
by the beach, Sanji-kun where there's no one nosy."_

_"Life is for the alive my love.  
so let's keep living it."_

"_Just keep living it."_ the two said. "_Really living it!!"_ The two kissed, then paused when they say the crew staring at them. "..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"...:O..."

Sail On is owned by Masterplan

Epiphany and Final Scene is owned to the people who made Sweeney Todd


	9. Identity Thief

Disclaimer: you know the drill! Me no own One Piece, savvy?

Chapter 9:Identity Thief

"...glug, glug, glug..."

"How much of that are you going to drink?" Zoro asked Matt.

"Until I get get poisined."

"You know that's Sanji's holy water."

"...crap." Matt said, he got up and went to the kitchen. He tossed the champane bottle at the cook.

"What the mother (bleep)ing hell do ya want?!" Sanji roared while brushing his hair free of glass, he stabbed his knife onto the chopping board and kicked Matt out on deck in anger. Matt crashed into Chopper and Usopp. The three got up and made those pissed off faces, anime style.

"What's your problem?!" the three yelled. Luna walked pass Matt, who looked at her sideways and whistled.

"Stop staring at me, Sanji, he's harrassing me again!" Luna yelled, Sanji got even madder and kicked Matt, who jumped Sanji and got his head under his foot. Sanji kicked from behind and sent Matt flying into the air, he landed headfirst in the grass. "What do you do with a drunken sailer?"

"Oh god, it's Jr. High all over again." Matt said, everyone went to lunch. He sat in the corner.

"What'd Luna say to you?" Luffy asked.

"Just a tradition a school, a full course of torture." Matt said. "What should I do to get Luna and get Sanji back at him?"

"Switch places?"

"Luff, you're a genius." Matt said after lunch. Matt fallowed Sanji to the men's cabin. "Hullo ero-bastard-who-stole-my-girlfriend-cook."

"What, kuso-baka-who-is-gayer-than-Zoro-vampire?" Sanji asked. Matt bit Sanji's wrist and Sanji punched him across the hall...wait, punched?! He nearly fainted when he saw himself get up. "Shit is this?!"

"We switch places, like Freaky Friday...you're me and I'm you...have fun trying to kiss Luna." Matt said, waving back as he went on deck. Sanji ran to the restreoom and to his horror, he saw Matt in the mirror. He i_s_ Matt! Staring right back at him was some perverted, 17 year old British dude, he slapped himself several times, no anvil. "Hullo Nami." he heard Matt from deck. "Wanna have some fun?"

"Sanji-kun?!" Nami screamed, Sanji ran on deck to see Matt trying to kiss Nami.

_"He's ruining my life!"_ Sanji thought, he stood there. Dusk came out of nowhere and attacked Matt in beast point.

"What the hell is wrong with you?!" Dusk snarled.

"I've been thinking, if you and Zoro do...you know. Wouldn't he be technacaly sleeping with an animal?" Matt asked. Dusk blushed. "How about doing it with me-?"

"Cause you're with Luna!" Dusk yelled. "Matt, support me!"

"Erm..." Sanji said. Luna came past him. "Luna-chwan!"

"Sanji-kuuunnn!" Luna said, Matt came up to Sanji and kicked him real hard.

"Luna-chwan."

"Crap, Sanji, what's wrong with yoooooouuuu?!" Usopp asked, he was chucked overboard by Matt.

"Man oveboard." Sanji said, he jumped in, but he sank.

"Matt!" Zoro said, he jumped in and fetched Sanji. "You know you can't swim!!"

"I can't?" Sanji asked, he saw Matt throwing Usopp onboard.

"No shit, you ate a devil fruit!" Zoro yelled. "Baka!"

"Oh..."

"Jeez, cook, are you fine?" Franky asked.

"None the less, speedo dude." Sanji said.

"Did you call me speedo dude?"

"Yep, speedo dude." Matt was thrown across deck. "Oi!"

Franky went back below deck.

"You're on Mary Jane." Raven said to Matt, he took out a box.

"Want some?"

"Where'd you get those, Sanji?"

"Luna."

"She doesn't carry drugs."

"Matt."

"You hate him."

"He...dropped it!"

"Hmm."

"Luuunaaaa-chawn!" Matt said, everyone paused.

"Chawn?" Robin asked.

"Erm..Luna-kun? Sensei? Sama? San?!" Matt was panicking, he didn't remember what Sanji calls Luna! (Note: bad memory) "Denomic angel!"

"What you call me?"

"Loon! Skieloon!"

"Come on, Chopper, go check on Sanji, he doesn't look right."

Once Chopper took Matt away, Sanji went over to Luna.

"Luna-chan, you gotta help me!" Sanji begged. "Matt switched places with me!"

"Like I'll believe that!" Luna said, she took out a rusty razor. "Shave his belly with a rusty razor!"

"Wait, wait! AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!" Sanji yelled/bellowed/roared/screamed/shrieked. Luna pierced his skin and started to shave nothing. Blood everywhere and yeah...Luna tossed salt on his belly and the cuts burned. "I...I..."

"Say it!"

"I love you!!"

"Urgh, not what I asked for." Luna said, kicking him.

"Argh!"

"This is funny!" Luffy said. "I bet you guys didn't know!"

"Know what?" Zoro asked.

"That-" Matt rushed out of the kitchen and covered Luffy's mouth.

"That he needs more meat!" Matt said. "C'mon, crap-kid."

"No, Matt switched places with Sanji to get Luna!" Luffy blurted out.

"This true?" Nami asked Sanji.

"...yes! Yes! He's ruining my life!" Sanji said.

"I don't belive it." Luna said. "You guys stand next to each other." The two did as they were told. "Who's the identity thief?"

"Him." they pointed at eachother. Luna raised her foot to Matt and kicked him, then tried to kick sanji, but he grabbed her leg.

"Luna-chan, I know all your attacks so I know how to deflect them, don't try." Sanji said.

"Sanji, smoke your cig." Luna told Matt, he searched his pockets, nothing. "You don't know where they are?"

"Yes."

"Matt, turn into Loki."

"I can't." Sanji said.

"Then I belive Luffy." Luna said. "Matt, turn into Matt and return Sanji into Sanji."

"...fine." Matt said. There was a flash and everything was back to normal. Sanji took out a cig from his coat and smoked. "Happy?"

"Not yet." Luna said, she started kicking him over and over. "Ow...ow...ow...ow..."

"I have rights too! Kiss me boot! Kiss my boot!" Luna said, then she took out the rusty razor and started shaving him again.

"OOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWIIIIEEEEE!!"

"Another case solved by me." Raven said. "Case closed.

"**YOU DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!**" everyone yelled.

"Yeah...I just stood there!"

(That Night)

"Zoro! Zoro!" Tashigi stood at the men's cabin.

"Tashigi?!" Zoro yelled.

"Or is it?" Matt said, he bit Zoro's wrist.

"Not again..."

"Heh, heh, I'm evil." Matt said. He went over to Sanji and collapsed on top of him, then fell asleep.

"Get me off him!!" Zoro yelled at Matt, nothing. He tried moving, but Matt was too heavy. "Damn vampire!!"

(Next Day)

"Urgh." Sanji woke up to see marimo on top of him, snoring. "Holy-EEEEEEK!"

Everyone rushed in.

"What happened, I heard a girl scream-oh, it's you." Franky said. "Good lord!"

"cook-san, are you gay?" Robin asked. "I wanna get this clear."

"Get me out!" Sanji hissed, trying to get Matt off. "Gaybo!"

"That a word?" Luffy asked, everyone left.

"Don't leave me!" Sanji begged. "Who's gonna cook?!"

"Raven, she wishes the food for us." Nami said. "Later."

"NNNNOOOOOOOOOO!" Sanji screamed in Matt's ear. "WAKE UP, SHIT!! GET OFF MEEEEE!"

"...zzzzzz..." Matt snored.

"DAMN YOU RORONOA ZORO!!"

"...zzzzzz..."

Sanji managed to kick Matt off, he went to the bathroom for a bath to clean himself. Matt finally woke and retuned to his body and turned Zoro back to Zoro. When Sanji and Zoro passed eachother, Sanji kicked him out on deck and overboard,

"Man overboard!!" Sanji yelled.


	10. Island of the Dead

Disclaimer: I don't own Pokemon or One Piece!

Chapter 10: Island of the dead

"What year is it?" Luffy asked.

"Why you wanna know that?" Raven asked.

"Year of the tiger." Sanji mumbled as he walked passed them, he paused.

"What." Nami asked, Sanji looked at the sink.

"SHIT, she took off her necklace to bath!" Sanji yelled, pulling his hair, everyone rushed to the sparoom and stared at the door. Sanji came and took out his knife. Then he did something un-Sanji-like. "Luna-chan!!-"

"PERVERT! I'M TAKING A BATH!!" Sanji came flying onto the deck with water trailing behind him. "NEXT TIME I'LL DROWN YOU!!" The doors slammed shut, Chopper was checking Sanji.

"Is he alright?" Nami asked. "He flew pretty fast."

"Yeah, he's a tough bastard." Chopper said. "Only thing is...he can't stop smiling."

"Luna was taking a bath." Robin said.

"Ah...I get it."

"WAAAAHHHHH!!" Matt came flying through the air, he landed into the mast. "What a fiesty little wolf!"

"That's it, we're tossing these two overboard." Dawn said, folding her sleeves. Zoro suddenly came flying past her. "ZORO!"

"Ack! Weirdos are falling out of the sky!" Usopp said, he went to the kitchen, then ran out. "SABER TOOTH TIGER!"

Dusk suddenly came crashing through the door in beast point, only she looked bigger and stronger. Her two canines were as long and large and Chopper's antlers, only thicker. She was large as Luna in demon point.

"RAAWWWRRR!!"

"What's that!" Luffy said. "It looks cool!!"

"No it's not, Dusk nearly killed me!" Zoro said, taking out two swords. "She's like Luna!!"

"LAND HO!" Luna yelled, she was finish with her bath.

"Luna, switch to demon point!" Sanji said, he woke up. "And hold down Dusk while we get there!"

"What?! I can't do that!"

"Just do it! DAMN IT!!" Sanji roared at her while Dusk caught him off guard, Luna hesitated. "HURRY!"

"LUNA!!" Usopp said, Sanji held his foot up on Dusk's neck to keep her from biting him. Luna switched to demon point, for once, she was finally able to control herself! She kicked Dusk off of Sanji and kicked her, Franky had set up a large cage, into the cage.

"Good thinking!" Luna said to Franky.

"No prob, okami. Cook had me make this for you incase you loose your head." Franky said. "It's...SUPA!"

"O...k..." Raven said, passing Franky as he did his pose.

(Land)

"LAND!!" Matt yelled, kissing the ground.

"Guys, I don't think people live on this island..." Luffy said, checking out the place.

"Anything else, Sherlock?" Dawn said, kicking the sand, a man around 20 suddenly appeared. He was dressed up like Sirius Black (movie 5)

"Oi, dude, you got any gold?" Raven asked, she came up to the man.

"Kid! Don't say things like that, they'll-" Zoro said.

"Kaizoku! Kaizoku!" he yelled.

"Wait! You got the wrong idea!" everyone yelled, jungle cats surrounded them, they sighed.

"I thought the Navy would come." Nami said. "Nice kitty..."

"Oi, no touchie." Luna said, kicking a lion.

"You dare to abuse my animals?" the man asked, thte world went black.

(Later, Night)

(Zoro's POV, as much as i hate to do this, i have to give to give marimo a chance)

"Urgh." I rolled onto my stomach. It turned out I was on a bed, I got up. **THUD!** I reached for my waist, but my swords were gone. "Where the hell are my swords?"

"Man, you take forever!" a large black raven exclaimed. I stared at her. "What?"

"Who the hell are you."

"It's me, Raven!" Raven said, flapping her wings. "Lucky, you got turned into a dog...We got hit! You better listen to this, we are all turned into animals..."

"Dog?" I asked, there was a pool of water, I looked in my reflection...HOLY SHIT! I'M A FREAKEN DOG!

(None's POV)

"There anything wrong?" Sanji asked, Zoro was flipping out when he saw his tail. "Nevermind, why should I care." He was turned into a fox that was as big as Luna in beast point. "Anyone wants to guess why we're in this state?"

"I don't know, but I wanna find the bastard that turned me into this." Usopp said, he was a yellow colored ferret. He was on Dawn's head, she was turned into a Austrailian sea lion.

"By the look of Zoro's breed, I'd say husky." Luna said, who was in beast point.

"How many ferrets does it take to make a coat?" Nami asked, she was perched in a tree since she was turned into a black panther.

"Don't say that." Dawn said. "In our world, we hunt panthers and turn them into coats."

"When I see the man again, I wanna thank him." Luffy said, his whole body circled around them, he was a Japanese dragon. His red scales were bueatiful while his blue eyes pierced death in the heart. "Being a dragon's awsome! See, I can switch size!" He shrunk from 50 ft. to 4 ft and wrapped himself around Luna's neck like a scarf.

"GACK...SPLUTTER!!"

"Luffy, you're choking her!" Sanji yelled, biting Luffy's tail. A harpy eagle came into view, she landed on the ground. "Robin-chwan!"

"I checked the island, but there's nothing." Robin said. "The Sunny is gone with Franky and Dusk-"

"YoU MEAN WE'RE STRANDED!" everyone yelled.

"...Yes...and this is a remote island, no citys or towns."

"Maybe we didn't see anybody." Luffy said.

"There's gotta be at least one person who turned us into animals." Nami said. "Robin, are you sure."

"Positive."

"This may sound insane, but I think this is a start." Sanji said. "It's true, we didn't see anybody anywhere...at least I didn't, I had to drag all over you people hear."

"Where are you getting at?" Zoro asked, shaking his head then laying down.

"We must've skipped time..."

**DOOM!** Everyone froze and stared at Sanji, who sweatdropped. Then they burst out laughing.

"If we skipped time, we would've been old people by now!" Usopp laughed.

"Wait, take a good look at Luna, is she wearing silver?!" Sanji asked. everryone retreated from Luna. "Thought so...we skipped to the year of the tiger."

"That would explain Dusk, she must've eaten the neko neko no mi model prehistoric..."

"So she's a dinosaur?" Chopper asked, he suddenly appeared, he was turned into a boy! A boy! A boy! It's a boy! "Finally, you guys, Matt's lost it!"

"What?" Luffy asked.

"Why do you think i lost it?" Matt appeared. "I turned you guys into animals...so you won't get bitten."

"By what?"

"Banapai...we're on the Isla de Muerta..."

"I've read about this place, but never thought it exsisted." Robin said. "It's the only place in the Grand Line that-"

"Turn me back into a human!" Zoro yelled at Matt.

"'Wanna die early, fine." Matt said, everyone reverted back to their original forms. They all got on their feet since they're laying down. Matt started to lick his lips. "It's been a while since i drank."

"Alucard...that deal you made with Master..." a dark form appeared.

"What deal?" Matt asked, he took out his gun and shot at the form, blood spilled from it as it disappeared.

"You mother fucking double crossing bastard...I helped your little friends escape."

"Unlike you." Matt said, walking over to it, he stepped on the head. "I don't serve a master." He stomped on it and blood flew o his face, he gave that crazed Sera look as he licked his lips.

"Matt?" Luffy asked.

"We better go...the others might go after y'all." Matt said. "This ain't your ordinary isle...there's hidden villages around here, but you can't see them. C'mon Luna." Sanji grabbed Luna as Matt held out his hand.

"Ero-vampire." Sanji warned. "We agreed to let you stay with us if you don't harm me, Luna-chan, and everyone else. How can we trust you after what has happened?"

"For once, he's right." Zoro said, taking his sword out. "After seeing what you said, I dout that you even ate the ban ban no mi."

"Trust me...i'll even give you food-"

"Okey! I trust him! Where's my food?!" Luffy asked.

"The captain has spoken...and another reason you should trust me." Matt said, a group of people appeared, they all had guns and threatened to shoot. "They're here. Perfect...they'll help...once I convince them to."

"Kid, you better fallow us." said one of them. "Or we'll blast you and your friends to hell. We know who and what you are."

"I'll fallow, but-"

"No excusses! OPEN FIRE!!"

"So this is the end." Chopper said.

"The end of the Great Captain Usopp!" Usopp said. Matt jumped in front of the crew and spread his arms out. All 30 men shot him down until there was nothing but a pool of blood.

"MATT!" Raven yelled.

"It's good he's gone." Sanji said.

"Band manager." Robin said.

"I don't need to call Buffy the Vampire Slayer anymore." Dawn said.

"That's not funny!" Usopp said.

"I think it is, at least he won't watch me bathe." Nami said


	11. Ketsueki Clan

Disclaimer: I DON'T own One Piece

Chapter 11: Ketsueki Clan

"Any one who kills my nakama dies." Luffy warned. "Why'd you shoot him down?!"

"Ta get ta you, of course, Straw Hat." said the leader with Sanji's shitty Brooklyn accent from the 4kids dub. "Job done, all we need ta do is turn him in ta-"

"There's no need to turn me in."

"Who says dat?!"

"Normal bullets don't harm me..." the pool of blood started to form into Matt, who took out his gun and walked up to the startled leader. "Your bargin can be the other way around you know. If you value your nakama, you die in their place."

"Try me." Matt shot a random guy in the head several times, he was still breathing. Matt leaned next to him.

"Do you wish to live...in the dark for the rest of time?"

"In hell I will, for I'll never be a beast of the devil." the man said, he died.

"MATT!" Nami said. "What's wrong with you?!"

"Anyone who wishes to die shall be pressed ganged into Ketsueki's clan...under my bullets. We better get to the city, vampires and werewolves and other nasty creatures are dreadfully attracted to blood."

"...FINE! I'll take ya to Tentou City...jus' don't shoot anyone else down, we don't have dat much men ta fight." the leader said.

"I read this island was supposed to be a paradise, besides Fish-man Island." Robin said to the leader as they all walked deeper in the forest. "What happened to its name?"

"It was stripped away like da islands reason ta be a paradise." the leader said. "Right now, kid, we can't talk about dis here."

They finally entered a clearing, the city was nearly in ruins. Some of the stone buildings were crumbling and vine covered some of them. Windows were boarded shut, but they opened when people stared at the passing crew. The leader lead them to a large building that had a broken down sign that said Hospital. They went inside to see several people in their sickbed or deathbeds. When Matt and Luna walked by, some of the people who were visiting or caring for patients cowered.

"Now dat we made it ta safety, I can discuss dis more better. Da name is Tentou Tsurugi..." Tsurugi said. "I'll ask ya dis..are any of ya by chanse a werewolf?"

"Yeah." Luna said. "Me. I ate the inu inu no mi, model: demon wolf. Do you know David Moo by any way?"

"Who's David Moo?"

"Nevermind."

"Okey, I've heard of stories about dat fruit. One of da powerful Zoan next ta da ban ban no mi. Besides you, girl, who else knows of dis power ya have?" He stared at the crew.

"Him." everyone pointed at Sanji. "We're just victems of Luna's rampages, so he handles everything."

"Not much of a crew, ya guys are." Tsurugi said. "Those who managed to eat dat fruit must have people to help dem, one man ain't enough ta handel a full fledged werewolf. They can be as dangerous as Gold Rodger..."

There was a long pause until Luffy said,"How do ya know Luna's a werewolf?"

Tsurugi glanced at the people around them. They were all several feet away from the crew.

"Oh."

"13 years, dat how long dis islands been under the control of Ketsueki's Mafia and-"

"WAAAAAHHHH HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!" Dawn, Raven, Matt, and Luna burst into laughter, anime tears started falling from their faces. "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!"

"What's so punny?! Dis is a crisis!"

"The Mafia??" Luna yelled. "Oh my god! What's next, the YMCA?! No no no, American Gangsters!!"

"I forget, are we in New York, or Italy?!" Raven yelled.

"Gah, we're in a world Oda created after New York and Italy!" Dawn yelled.

"I've been here for so long." Matt said, trying to stand. "I can't tell the difference between Japanese and English!! Are we speaking Japanese or English?!"

"We're speaking English, dumbass." Usopp said.

"Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, catch this." Luna said, she was suddenly wearing Sanji's black suit.

"Where'd you get my suit?" Sanji asked.

she took out a cigar and said in a Brooklyn accent,"Come...and join da family. I Don Luna...(fwoo)..." She reverted back to her normal clothes and joined her friends and laughed some more.

**"STOP LAUGHIN' YOU DARN KIDS!!"** Tsurugi roared, he took out a gun and pointed it at Luna. **"OR I'LL SPILL ALL YOUR GUTS IN DIS PLACE!!**"

"Fire at her and it'll be your last shot." Sanji and Matt said. "Hey, that's my line!! RAWR!" The two wrestled (or kicked) each other on the ground.

"Fight fight fight!" Dawn and Raven chanted.

"Did I say Mafia, I ment clan, don't know why Mafia came ta my head." Tsurugi said, putting his gun down, everyone went quiet.

"Maybe the reason why you said Mafia was because you have the fucked up accent." Raven said.

"SHUDDUP! I GOT DIS FROM MY MOMMY...I MEAN FATHER!" Tsurugi yelled. "Enough yellen'...Dere's a favor I need ta ask ya, Straw Hats."

"Eh?" Luffy said, Tsurugi got to his knees and begged.

"Please, lend us da strength ta save dis island. We have been livin' a nightmare instead of a paradise dis place was supposed ta be. 13 years ago, a ship came into port...a ship filled wit' demons from legends, vampires, werewolves, but da most frightenin' of all were...ninetailed foxes."

"Ninetailed?" Raven asked.

"Hai, they nearly whipped us out...and turned dis place inta hell. They summoned werewolves and vampires aboard their vesse ta ruin the place some more-"

"Wait, this sounds like Nine Tailed Trace's gang." Sanji said. "You make this sound like he was in two places at once."

"Huh?"

"Raven's associanted with them."

"Let's get this strait. Fannette Island and that crappy story is FAKE! I made up all that shit...Trace never told me where he came from, all I know was that he gave me the wish wish fruit and helped me pull off a prank on Luna and everyone else." Raven said. "So if this is where he came from, I'll believe you."

"You, girl, you know what da Nine Tailed Brethren is?!" Tsurugi. "You can free us!"

"Okey...I'll help, I just need...time to prepare." Raven said, stepping out of the building. "Bon voyage!"

"She's running." Luna said.

"Coward." Dawn said.

"Running, more like escaping." Matt said.

"Look at her go, she's going to the coast." Luffy said.

"Boy, pretty fast for a 15 year old." Nami said.

"OH NO! SHE'S HEADIN TA DA KETSUEKI CLAN'S TERRITORY!" Tsurugi yelled.

"That kid's commiting suicide." said a lady.

"Only fools would go there." said a man.

"She's never comming back." a kid around 5 said, she tapped Sanji's leg, he looked down in responce. "Mister."

"Yep?" Sanji asked, getting down on one knee and reaching eyelevel with the kid.

"Are you going to save her?"

"..."

"If you are, I wish you and your friends luck...the Ketsueki Clan and te Nine Tailed Brethren are really tough, but...I saw your bounties...you can beat them, right?" she asked.

"Bounties? Kid, what you got there?" Tsurugi asked, she handed him the wanted posters. "All of you seem pretty strong." The kid walked away and Sanji stood up. "You can take down Trace?"

"If the Ketsueki Clan is as powerful as you said they are." Luffy started. "Then Raven's in danger. We'll help save this place to get Raven."

"You people would risk your heads to save one nakama?"

"...Yes..."

"Even if they're from another world?" Luna asked.

"Yep."

"Then it's settled." Tsurugi said. "You guys can stay at an inn...we'd give ya da 5 star treatment, but it's too dangerous. We'll talk more in da morning."

"Oi, shit-swordman." Sanji said, kicking Zoro. "Wake up, I can't believe you slept though the whole conversation."

"I'm up, I'm up!" Zoro said, they all walked out of the hospital and to an inn with the traditional Japanese furniture.

(Meanwhile)

"This is insane! If Trace is here, then he and Matt can send us home!" Raven said as she raced through the jungle, jumping over obsticles. "Home sweet home!"

"Blood sweet blood, I can smell you kid." a vampire appeared. "Do you need help?"

"N-no, I was...on a walk!" Raven lied, he came up to her neck and hissed. "Please..."

"I'll help ya..."

Raven gave an ear splitting scream.

(Tentou City)

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" Luna yelled as she got up, everyone woke up and looked at her. "...(huff huff)..."

"If you need to howl, go outside." Usopp said.

"Chopper, I can't breath." Zoro said, Chopper was clinging to his head.

"I thought there was a monster!!" Chopper screamed.

"There is now..." Luffy said. Chopper screamed again.

"Luna-chan." Sanji said.

"I...It was horrible!" Luna said.

"What?" Nmi asked.

"I wish I can just die."

"The nightmare must've been that bad." Robin said, she checked Luna's forhead. "You're burning up."

"Who has a gun?"

"Don't say that." Dawn said. "Just tell us."

"Yeah, it's not like it'll come to life." Matt said. "I'll protect you-owie" Sanji kicked Matt in the-

"Last time, don't look at her sideways, I've watched you the past hour staring at Luna-chan." Sanji said, he hugged her. "Just say what you saw."

"I was at home." Luna started.

"Uh-huh."

"The doorbell rings and I answer it."

"Yes."

"And Michel Jackson was standing there..."

"Then?"

"He...he...he asked me if I wanted to go to Neverland Ranch with him and sing "Just Beat It" in a music video!!" Luna said, everyone fell over anime style with sweatdrops. "What?! It was scary!!"

"Oh my god..." Sanji said. "Erm...go to sleep, Luna-chan."

"In my opinion, that was NOT a nightmare." Dawn said.

"It made me scream! So it counts as scary, damnit!" Luna yelled, everyone went back to sleep.


	12. Call My Lawyer

Disclaimer: you know the drill! Me no own One Piece, savvy?

Chapter 12: Call my lawyer

(Next Day)

"Up and at 'em!" Tsurugi yelled from below. Everyone wole was sleeping in a hamock flipped out and landed on the ground (excluding Robin) with a loud THUD! "Hurry it up!! It'sa life an' death situation!"

"What? Is it Michel Jackson?!' Luna asked, everyone was rushing down the stairs, since Luna kept her blanket on, everyone tripped on it and fell on top of her.

"The IRS?" Matt asked.

"Britney Sphires?" Dawn said.

"Godzilla?" Luffy asked.

"Bloody Mary?" Zoro asked.

"Davy Jones?" Usopp said.

"Fashion police?" Nami asked.

"Sea monsters?" Chopper said.

"Kappa?" Sanji said.

"Squid?" Robin said.

"Nami?" Luffy asked.

"I'm right here, stupid!" Nami yelled.

"NO! YA IDIOTS! GHOULS!" Tsurugi yelled. "They're attacking us!"

There was a long pause.

"AREN'T YA GONNA DO ANYTHIN'?!"

"We agreed to stay, not be your protectors." Luffy said.

"We'll give ya food."

"YOSHA! Crew, attack!" Luffy said, everyone went outside. Ghouls were moaning and stuff and yeah, killing everyone and stuff like that, too much gore. A vampire stood at the bell tower yelling orders.

"But I have ta tell ya dis, deese ghouls aren't just normal zombies. You need ta aim at da head or heart." Tsurugi explained. Matt got that funny look in his eyes as he took out his two guns. He started to shoot down every ghoul in the place before Zoro can get his swords out. "You got skill, kid...wait, dat vampire's got a kid wit him!"

"POPS!" screamed a girl. She looked like Sera, only with dark blue hair. "POPS! HELP ME!!"

"Damsel in distress, huh?" Sanji asked. "Luna-chan..."

"Got it!" Luna said, switching to beast point and biting Sanji, she hurled him at the belltower. "Wolf Launch!" Sanji flew through the air, Matt jumped up to his height.

"Collier-"

"Sorry, man, but this is mine!" Matt hissed, he took out his gun and shot Sanji's arm, but missed only by a hair. The bullet brushed his skin, startled by this, Sanji crashed into the bell. Luna jumped on several roofs to reach Sanji and help him get out of the bell tower.

**GONG!**

Matt flew next to the vampire and punched him real hard, causing him to fall to the ground below. The girl fell along with him.

"I GOT HER!" Luna yelled, jumping and catching her in her mouth.

"Nice save kid." Tsurugi said, but the vampire suddenly got up and grabbed the girl. He rammed into Luna and Sanji as Luna tried to dodge. "Yuri!!...wait, dat vampire's da priest of dis place!"

"What?! A father?!" Nami asked franticly. Matt aimed his guns at the priest (who was dressed in colorful robes). The priest gave a smile as he placed Yuri in front of him.

"Now what Alucard? You can't actually shoot a girl!!"

"The bullets in these guns were blessed in Alabasta...enough to kill you no matter where I shoot! Yuri, is it?"

Yuri nodded.

"Would you want to live?"

Yuri nodded.

"As a vampire?"

She nodded, Mat pulled the trigger and the butllets went through Yuri's chest (right side) and through the priest's chest. The priest released Yuri and dispersed into sand. Everyone walked over Yuri and Matt held her. "How old are you?"

"16..."

"You'll live."

"Matt!" Chopper said. "You shot at her right lung! There's even a large hole!"

He leaned towards her neck and bit her, her eyes turned red as she grew fangs. The bullet wound disappeared.

"How're ya feelin'?" Tsurugi asked.

"She'll be knocked out for a while..."

"Why is this like Hellsing?!" Luna asked.

"Yes, this is like episode 1." Dawn said.

"Ketsueki must've tried getting rid of da priests so dey won't kill his minions." Tsurugi said. "We get da Divine Weapons dat way."

"Divine Weapons?" Usopp asked.

"They're weapons blessed by priests to slay any demon." Robin said.

"Oh..."

Matt carried Yuri to the inn and came back, it started to rain hard. Everyone rushed towards a temple, the ground started to break under Sanji's foot and he fell into a hole.

"Sorry, but I set up traps...for da ghouls!"

"SANJI-KUN!!" Luna yelled, looking down the hole. The water level was rising and Sanji struggled to get up. "Damn it! He'll drown!"

"May he rest in peace then." Zoro said.

"I HEARD THAT!" Sanji roared, he looked around the hole and sawseveral logs piled togeher. Underneath the logs was a saber tooth tiger that looked like Dusk. A log was poking out, he could use it! But the tiger might be set free and eat him. He stared at it as it gasped for air. He looked direcctly at it. "Do NOT eat me when I set you free...or I'll call my lawyer in heaven!"

"He's trapped with a monster?!" Chopper screamed.

"I hope it eats him." Matt said.

"That's a mean thing to say!" Raven said. Sanji pulled the log out and the tiger was free, it snarled in Sanji's face and he backked up against the wall. The tiger suddenly leaped out of the hole and everyone screamed. "Eeep!" Sanji crawled out of the hole and the sky suddenly turned back to it's normal clear dark blue. "Is there a sun?"

"no." Tsurugi said, "Trace ate it."

"Sure he did." Nami said. The tiger rounded back at them and saw Sanji. "It's comming back!"

The startled Sanji fell backwards and the tiger snarled at him, then paused. Sanji took out his gold neclace and placed it around its neck. Dusk suddenly appeared in its place.

"Your face was priceless..." everyone (even Sanji) jumped on her and started beating her up. "OW! MOMMY! I'M CALLING MY LAWYER!!"

"**IT'S YOUR FAULT WE _NEEDED_ TO GO HERE!! WE HAD TO SEARCH FOR GOLD AND TREAT YOU LIKE LUNA!!"**

**BANG!**

"Stop da noise now!" Tsurugi yelled. "We need ta get da werewolf girl and the tiger girl ta da alter!"

"Alter?" Chopper asked. "Why?"

"Ta get da Divine Instruments of course!" Tsurugi said, the entered the temple. It was A LOT like the Stone Table in Aslan's How from Narnia. There were two statues, one of Luna's demon pont, and another of Dusk's prehistoric point. "Da wolf is Amaterasu, the gaurdian of dis island. Da tigar is Gekigami, another guardian...however, as da story goes, dey never get along-"

"That explains everything." Usopp said.

"Anyone whole eats da inu inu nomi, model: demon wolf get Amaterasu's powers, whicj are like da gods. And if someone eats da neko neko no mi, model: prehistoric, dey get god like powers too...but when they enter their god forms, dey loose their minds. To avoid these two gods engage in battle, a man from dis city trapped da two in fruits. If da island went into such crisis, da fruits would be eaten."

"Let me get this strait, there's a prophosy that if the island went under a curse, me and Luna must be called upon like the gods in Okami?" Dusk asked.

"...yep!"

"COOL!!"

"AND, legend has it dat a group of people will assist dem! Mugiwara Crew, you're da chosen ones-"

"Hold that den den mishi." Sanji said. "First you tell us to help, now you want us to be your guardians."

"Uh-huh-GACK!" Sanji grabbed Tsurugi by the neck.

"We ain't here to play legends. We need to get Raven back and scurry off."

"AWWW! Sanji, I wanna play hero!" Luffy said.

"Not now Luffy! We'll just get Raven from the forest by ourselves."

"You folks won't make it out." Matt said. "If Luna and Dusk don't get their weapons, well, it'll be the end of the world. Let go of him." SAnji released Tsurugi.

"True! Trace, his Brethren, and Ketsueki are going ta take over da world with...da undead! Da guardians of dis island ain't supossed ta let dat happen, if da tree get a hold of da island's treasure, dey would take over da world!""

"Treasure?!" Nami asked. "What is it?!"

"No idea, but it makes your dreams come true!"

"Will you people stop yelling." Zoro said, he went to sleep.

"Luna da Hunter, go ta da statue of Amaterasu...Dusk of da Night, you head ta Gekigami."

**SSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNEEEEEEE!!**

"ARGH! I'm blind!" Chopper screamed.

"It's too bright!" Robin said, covering her eyes.

"Is it morning all ready?" Zoro asked.

"Interesting!" Luffy laughed.

"HIIISSSSS!!" Matt hissed at the light as he used his cape to cover himself. "I'm melting!!"

"Why the bright light?" Dawn said.

"Matt, if you're melting, melt to hell! Luna-chan't mine!" Sanji yelled.

"I'm over her!"

"No, you stare at her!"

"Okey, I'm not over her...yet...I'll be _over_ her in bed-"

"You disgust me."

"Am I in heaven?" Usopp asked. "Mommy, is that you?"

"Usopp! Snap out of it!" Nami screamed, slapping him. "Wake up!"

"Why are you guys acting like fish out of water?" Dusk asked, the light stopped. She and Luna were dressed in kimonos, Luna had blue and white colored one while Dusk had the red and white.

"And what's with the outfits?" Luna said. Everyone was dressed like they were in the One Piece speacial #4.

"Huh?" Luffy said, he checked his waist to see his sai. "Cool!!"

"Are we in Nippon, England, or Grand Line?" Dawn asked.

"I think this is a major crossover plot thing." Matt said.

"Crossover?" Nami said.

"Nothing...fan fic stuff." Luna said a sword appeared beside her while Dusk had a bow and a quiver similar to Gekgami's in Okami. "Not to be rude or anything, but I think we got the wrong weapons."

"Yeah, I don't do archery." Dusk said. "Wanna trade-"

"Dere'll be no trading!" Tsurugi said, waking their heads. "No off you go! Go and save da world!"

"IF THIS IS A HUGE PRANK, WE'LL CALL OUR LAWYERS AND SUE YOU!" everyone yelled, Tsurugi managed to pick them all up and throw them in the jungle.

"Time to save Raven!" Luffy said.

"And find the Sunny!" Usopp said.

"And find that treasure!" Nami said.

"And sue that Tsurugi dude for chucking us in the jungle with monsters!" Dawn said

"And THEN get the hell out of here! YOSH!" everyone else said, as they went off.


	13. Epic Chapter

Disclaimers: yeah, if I owned One Piece, Sanji would be the only character

Chapter 13: Epic Chapter

"I think we found it." Nami said, holding a map Tsurugi handed her. They found themselves at a stone bridge that crossed a bottomless pit, it was 1 mile long. "We pass this and we'll be in the Ketsueki Clan's Territory."

"Let'z go then!" Luffy said proudly, they started to cross it.

"You know...those giant mushrooms we past earlier are pretty fuzzy." Sanji said. "I mean, A...A-"

Luna blocked his nose with her sleeve.

"Thanks."

"**ACHOOOOOOOO!!**" Luna nearly fell off, but remained balanced. "That's a brain buster-"

Rumble...rumble...

"Why do I get a feeling we're gonna die?" Nami said, she looked behind and screamed. "RUN!!"

Everyone else turned around to see the bridge collapsing very fast, they screamed anime style as they ran.

"Awsome!" Luffy said, laughing.

"I'm gonna die!" Chopper screamed.

"Not unless I can help it!" Dusk said, she switched to beast point (her bow was on her back) and carried Chopper, Usopp, Luffy, Robin, and Zoro in her mouth. Luna did the same (her sword was floating on her back) and took Nami, Sanji, Dawn and Matt in her mouth. "Tiger Stance!"

"Wolf Stance!" Luna yelled. They made it to the end of the bridge, but to their horror, there was a gate!

"**CRAP!!"** everyone yelled. The gates opened suddenly. "**YOSHA!"**

Dusk raced in before Luna, who trailed behind. The last part of the bridge broke under Luna, she chucked Sanji to the end, but Nami slipped, she held to Luna's tail.

"Nami-san! Luna-chan!" sanji yelled, he got on his chest and laid on the ground as he held Luna's neck, but his hand slipped. Luna kicked the air and bit his hand. "ARGH! Damnit Luna!"

Zoro help pull Luna up while Chopper pulled Sanji's feet. Sanji wrapped a piece of cloth around his hand while everyone panted. "Sorry."

"You nearly tore his hand off." Chopper said. "Where's Matt?"

"He fell." Usopp said, he looked down to see nothing. "Yep, he's gone."

"I thought I tossed him like Sanji!" Luna said. "We need him guide us!"

"He he he, now you need me!" Matt said, he appeared next Luffy.

"Cool! How'd you live?! Luffy asked.

"That scene looked like Agro's fall from Shadow of the Colossus." Matt said, ignoring Luffy. "At least I knew it would break-"

"Then why didn't you tell us?!" Zoro yelled at him.

"I didn't? I certainly told Luna-sama...right?"

"Yes, but I was buisy biting Sanji thanks to you."

"Guys...where are we?" Chopper asked, looking around. The city was similar to Hogsmeade from Harry Potter. "Tell me we're on deck..."

"Nope, Chopper...this...is Ketsueki's pad." Matt said. "And there, that large castle that looks like Hogwarts and is near the ocean, is where we'll find Ketsueki and Trace."

They started to go around the place, until they reached the castle. The gates said Strawgoh. A random young lady ran past them screaming,"Run! Run for your life!"

"Is it ghouls?" Luffy asked.

"Nay...it is...the Wheel...of...Fortune!!" everyone on the streets yelled. A large wheel came toawrds them, on top of it was Raven fighting Kira the Assassin with her staff.

"Unguard! Unguard!" Raven yelled, imitating a Spanish soldier from the 1400's. "It is I, Siniora Raveno!"

"It's unwise to fight me like this, Red!" Kira yelled, the wheel went past the crew. The unsuspecting Matt was squished by the wheel, he ended up stuck in it like Jack Sparrow. His legs kicked wildly as he tried to escape, Kira and Raven jumped over him.

"Matt!!" Dawn yelled, she chased after him. She summoned water and managed to stop to wheel. "You're such a pain!"

"Thank you." Matt said, dropping dizy on the ground as he managed to get free. Raven and Kira jumped down.

"Awww, you ruined the fun!" Raven whinned, but Dawn grabbed her by the ear and dragged her.

"Yoy got a lot of explaing to do, missy!"

"Moooommmmyyyyy!"

"Don't mommy me!"

"Young miss." Kira said. "I would be taking Red back to the master if I may."

"No, The last time we fallowed you bitches, we nearly got killed!" Zoro yelled at him.

"Guys, I have to go back to the castle. If we don't...Trace will kill me!" Raven said.

"Holdin you for ransom, eh?" Usopp said. "That's a nice fix, we might as well go."

"Wha?!" Chopper askd.

"It's settled!" Luffy said.

"Captain has spoken." Kira said, they all fallowed him to Strawgoh castle. The great oak doors opened a they went to the Great Hall. (remember, this castle is ALOT llike Hogwarts castle) "Master..."

"Nice ta see ya'll." Trace said. "Welcome to Strawgoh Castle, home of the Nine Tailed Brethren and the Ketsueki Clan-"

"Where's Ketsueki?" Matt asked.

"Alucard...hmph, he's coming...now." Trace said. The doors opened and in came...

"INUYASHA?!" Luna, Dawn, Dusk, and Raven yelled. It was Inuyasha in his human form. "Holy crap!"

"I'm not Inuyasha! I'm Ketsueki, damnit!" Ketsueki yelled. "Don of the Ketsueki Clan!"

"Oh..."

"And where's your nakama?" Luffy asked.

"All the vampires and werewolves here are mine. They don't bite." Ketsueki said. "Now...how about 5 star treatment?" Hotel...enjoy the place..."

"Phew, I thought you were gonna kill us!" Luffy sighed. "You guys ain't bad, where's the food?"

"Maids!" Ketsueki said, two young girls (Sanji got a MAJOR nosebleed) came up to him. In a matter of seconds, there were three tables stacked with food. Luffy dove in and started to gorge the food down. Everyone else refused to eat. "Wha's the matter?"

"What?" Luna asked. "Oh...we're just tired-"

"Then you folks shall recieve 5 star treatment." they left Luffy and fallowed him to the Grand Stair case. After several corridors, they reached the Gryffindor Tower. He left them inside. "Rooms are both left and right up the stairs."

Nami plopped herself on the nearest couch while Dusk and Chopper curled around the fire. Zoro took his seat by the window and fell asleep. Raven, Robin and Usopp sat at a desk and played liars dice with Dawn. Sanji and Luna sat on the same couch next to Nami. Matt stood in front of the fire, his arms were crossed as he glared at the flames. After an hour, Matt turned around with his gun out, Luna was sleeping on Sanji's chest while everyone looked at Matt.

"It's not like him." Matt said. "Why would Ketsueki let Luffy eat alone without even letting one of us stay with him."

"Because Luna-chan said we aren't hungry, even thogh we are." Sanji said. "Get that in your head."

"She must've wanted to test him." Robin said. "Did you notice how happy he sounded when Luna said we didn't want to eat?"

"Then." Chopper said. "Something's bad!"

"...(yawn!)..." Luna woke up. "I hear you guys...it's like the wolves my dad and I observe back home."

"And what did the wolves do?" Nami asked.

"When they hunt a herd of deer, they seperate everyone from the largest bull. Then take that bull down. It's pure logic that he wanted to seperate everyone from Luffy so he can-" Luna paused. Everuone, minus Zoro, rushed to the door and tried to open it. Sanji and Luna were kicking it at the same time while Nami tried to unlock it. Usopp started to pick at the lock, but the papper clip broke...Robin them summond a bunch of hands (Raven flipped out) and attempted to push/pull the door, but nothing happened. Chopper, Luna, and Dusk switched to hybrid points and rammed into the door. Matt had his guns out and everyone stepped back, he shot at it, but the bullets bounced back at them. Everyone ducked until the bulets stopped. Zoro gave a loud yawn and said."What's up with the noise?"

"HELPS US, YA LAZY ASS!" everyone yelled, Zoro sighed and they went out. Unlike the small corridor they were in, they walked into the throne room of Hyrule castle from LOZ: Twilight Princess.

"OMG! WE'RE IN ZELDA!" Raven, Dawn, Dusk, and Luna yelled. "SWEEEEET!!"

( Dark Beast Ganon Theme Music Plays)

"Urgh, what reeks?" Usopp asked, he turned around to see Dark Beast Ganon drooling. "AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!"

"What?" Nami asked. "EEEEEKKKK!"

"NAAMMMIIII-SWAAAAN!" Sanji said as he carried her after she jumped into his arms. "HOW DARE YOU MAKE HER CRY...YOU...GIANT PIG!!"

"Shit-cook, if I cut this up, would you cook it?" Zoro asked, taking out his swords, he lept at it, but the beast hurled him into la la land as he smashed a window. "AAAAAAAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!!"

"Watch out! It's one of the guards here!" Raven said. Dark beast snarled and roared in the four girls faces, Chopper flipped out and ran to a corner, and the girls smiled. "Roar...big deal."

"LUNA! YOU'RE COMMITING SUICIDE AGAIN!!" Chopper screamed. "SANJI! YOU'RE HER BOYFRIEND, DO SOMETHING!!"

"If she doesn't scream...there's nothing to worry about." Sanji said calmly, after several seconds, he exploded. "DAMNIT LUNA-CHAN, GET OVER HERE!! YOU'LL GET YOURSELF KILLED BY THAT THING!!" Sanji tried to run onto the field, but an orange barrier blocked him. He started kicking it, but got electricuted. "LUNA!!"

"Sanji, can ya cook that thing?" Dusk asked.

"THIS ISN'T THE TIME TO COOK DUSK!!"

"...geeze."

"We know how to beat this...I just need to fire an arrow." Dusk said, getting out her quiver and bow, she latched an arrow and took aim at Ganon's gem on his head.

"FIRE!" Raven yelled, Dusk released the arrow and Ganon was out cold.

"YOSHA!" Usopp said.

"TIME TO GO!" Dawn yelled, she grabbed Dusk and Raven and went through the barier. "Everyone's here, right? Good, let go-"

"ARE YOU NUTS?!" Sanji yelled at Dawn, he grabbed her and shook her hard. "YOU IDIOT! YOU LEFT LUNA-CHAN IN THERE!!"

"Oh..about that." Dawn said, Luna suddenly jumpedin the air and slammed her foot into Ganon's head. Blood all over and yeah. "See, she's fine."

"Cowards." Luna panted, she came up to the crew and collapsed.

"She's...dead." Nami said.

"NOOOOOOO!!" sanji said, he carried her and rushed off. "Where can I bury her?!"

"She's not dead, nor alive." Matt said.

"Since when were you a docter?" Raven asked.

"That beast has blood with rattlesnake venom mixed in it. When the blood comes in contact, you go...just stay like that."

"Oh!" Dusk said. "I know how to extract venom then!. "I saw this on Snakes on a Plane." Dusk slammed her fist into Luna's chest. Sanji kicked, yes, kicked her across the room.

"ARE YOU CRAZY?!"

"Quiet!" Matt hissed. "We'll be heard!"

"The lady didn't do that! She used oil!" Raven said. "Then sucked the blood-"

Sanji pressed his mouth on Luna's neck and sucked the blood, then spat, then sucked again.

"If you keep doing that, she'll end up with something bigger than a hicky." Usopp said disgusted as he helped carried her. They all tripped on the stairs and started to fall 5 stories.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!"

"Pokeball, go!" Dawn yelled.

"POKEBALL?!" everyone yelled. "THIS AIN'T POKEMON!"

"Walrien, water gun!!" Dawn switched to a wallrein and shot water from her mouth. She landed safely on the ground while everyone fell, she shot at them and lowered them with a waterfall like spout. Everyone shook water from their ears as they got up. Dawn turned into human form. Luna woke up.

"Pokeball?"

"Don't ask." Nami said, they all walked to the dinning hall.

"AAAAAAARGH!"

"LUFFY!" everyone entered to find Ketsueki passed out.

"Hahahaha! He couldn't keep up." Luffy laughed, he ate a bone. "Want some-?"

**BANG!** Matt shot Ketsueki in the head.

"MATT!!" Ketsueki woke up with a bullet hole in his head.

"Huh?"

"Who's your master?!"

"..." Ketsueki got out his guns and pointed both at Luna. "I can read your mind...that's the only thing you don't know how to do."

"Luna-chan!" Sanji said, he tried to move, but couldn't. Several gouls held his feet. "ARGH!"

Ketsueki then pointed them at Sanji and pulled the triggers. Luna jumped in front of him, but Matt shoved her and he took the shots.

"Matt?"

"Start kissin' up, chef-boy." Matt said darkly, he suddenly got his American accent back. "Pay more attention." He took Luna's sword and vanished, another second passed and the zombies all fell to the ground all smashed and sliced as he gave Luna her sword. "You got a nice sword, you have to use it...ditch the kicking."

"My chivalry is better than yours." Sanji said. More ghouls appeared, this time...with GUNS! DOOOOM!

CRASH! SLAM! THUD!

Zoro appeared with all three swords out. "WHERE'S THE BITCH WHO BLASTED ME INTO THE SEA THAT HAS A GIANT SQUID THAT NEARLY KILLED ME??" everyone pointed a Ketsueki.

"No need to yell...whoa! Your head looks like moss!" Ketsueki pointed at Zoro's hair, he charged at him.

"Oni...Giri!" Ketsuki was knocked off balance.

"Luna!" Dusk said, she was in beast point, so her bow was on her back.. "Get on and I'll launch you-!"

"Good thinking!" Luna said, she "latched" herself onto the bow and the string was pulled back by Usopp and Chopper so she can put her feet on it. "Sanji-kun!"

Sanji held out his leg several feet ahead of them. Dusk charged at his leg and landed on top of it, he swung his leg back, then kicked hard enough to launch Dusk. Her tail released the string and she launched Luna at Ketsueki while Dusk started to shoot thunder arrows. Luna drilled her sword into Ketsueki's chest while the thunder arrows melted all the ghouls around him (she has good aim).

"GACK!"

"207 Million Belli Jackpot!"

"YOSH! Let's go!" Usopp yelled, everyone agreed to him as they found the entrance. They ran out to find themselves at a cliff, Trace and the Nine Tailed Brethren all waited for them. "Um...time to go!"

"Feh feh feh feh." Trace laughed. "KETSUEKI!!"

"Master?" Ketsueki asked, he appeared all...healthy with no scratch.

"...finish them off."

"With pleasure."

"Lovely" Matt said "So that's your master."

"I don't want you and you don't need me...I disband you from the Ketsueki Clan." Ketsueki said.

"I never wanted to join!" Matt said, he started beating him up with his fists. "GET THAT IN YOUR HEAD! All I wanted was to watch and read Hellsing, but I just had to go to the graveyard to ge the things I wanted!"

"You could've went to Barns and Nobel." Dawn pointed out.

"HELLO?! Did you forget us or something?!" Trace yelled. "We have a fight to finish, hello? Kira!"

"Aye?" Kira asked, he had the nine edged sword with him.

"Kill off Red, she doesn't pay her bills." Trace said.

"No."

"Do it!"

"Nah, killing your nakama isn't the right thing to do-" Trace grabbed Kira's neck.

"Then you'll just have to learn how to kill all over again." he snarled, taking out a gun from Kira's belt (note, he has a belt where he keeps weapons). Trace pointed the gun at Raven. "Say good-bye!"

"Good-bye." Dusk said, she aimed n arrow at him and sent him flying at Geki, who flew into Spirit, who flew into Roa, who flew into Night and Shadow, who flew into Kira until they fell into the ocean. "Luna, Sanji, do your Diable crap thingy!"

"IT'S NOT CRAP!" the two yelled. "Beside, we need friction to use it."

"Just boil the water, freeze it, then leave the rest to everyone else!" Dusk said. "I study sience, don't I?"

"Oh, I get it!" Chopper said. "We're going to kill them like Jack and Edgar did on Fannette Islan, right?"

"IDIOTS! They're fake!" Raven said. "Illusions! Mind Tricks!! Get that in your head!"

Some scenes are from certain games or shows...guess each one!


	14. Cha' ching, a Death Note!

Disclaimer: I don't own One Piece!

Chapter 14: Cha' Ching! A Death Note!

"Do it."

"No."

"C'mon, it'll look cool!"

"It's not that urgent-"

"Okay...Dusk, his right legs covererd in oil!" Usopp yelled, holding a bottle of oil, Sanji's right leg was covered in gasoline oil.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!" Sanji yelled, taking of his kimono to see that he was waring his suit. Dawn took out her lighter and lit his leg. "HOLY SHIT! MY LEG!"

"Ah, it's not that bad, Zoro said, slapping Sanji's back, he fell off the cliff. "Oh...my hand slipped."

"D-D-DIABLE JAMBIE!" Sanji yelled, the ocean started to boil and the foxes were howling in pain as he jumped on each one, including Trace, and managed to get back on the cliff. He put out his foot and started to smoke. "I swear, you people are dead men...or women."

"MY HEAD!"

"MY SKULL, MY BUEATIFUL SKULL!"

"DAMN YOU BASTARD!"

"WHAT YOU DID WAS DANGEROUS!"

"not as dangerous as this." Luna said, she chased her tail, then her leg was blue. "DIABLE COEUR!!" She jumped in the water and it froze into a floating iceburg, the foxes froze on top of it.

"Thunder Storm!" Dusk said, aiming a thunder arrow a the iceburg.

"NO!" Trace roared, he broke free. "I WON'T LET YOU HURT THEM!!" He stood at the front with his arms open. "RED RAVEN! YOUR FRUIT IS A FRAUD!"

"Huh?" Raven asked.

"The fruit I gave you was normal, you aren't a devil fruit user-"

**BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT!**

The foxes were fried and destroyed, Trace was in the water, he suddenly turned into a giant version of his demon form. He snarled into the crew's faces. **"Each tail I have represents how many centries I'd spent alone without my nakama! Ever since that maelstrom and whilpool...they were all gone, until I came here! Ketsueki summoned the demon to revive them, but they all end up as foxes, along with me cursed as well! They still live, but yet they aren't my old friends! If I don't take a sacrifice soon, my friends are lost forever!"**

"I feel bad for you." Luffy said. "...but that doesn't mean you can take Raven from us!"

**WHAM!**

"You guys!" Raven yelled, Trace had her in his paw, he swallowed her whole. "EW! IT'S GROSS IN HERE!"

**"...(burp)...my paw slipped...Feh feh feh feh feh...**"

"No it didn't!" everyone yelled.

"Cha ching!" Dusk said.

"What?" Usopp asked.

"If his power/spirit lies in his tails..."

"We can take him down!" Luffy said, everyone jumped onto Trace's back and chose each tail. "ATTACK! Gumno Gumno..."

"ONI..."

"COLLIER..."

"CYCLONE..."

"DOIS..."

"CLOVEN..."

"HISSATSU..."

"OKAMI..." (Luna)

"TORA..." (Dusk, means tiger)

"MIZU..." (Dawn, means water)

"**Wait! What, what are you doing?!"**

"Sending you to where you belong." Zoro said.

"TO HELL!" everyone yelled, Luna kicked his belly and he spat out Raven, she flew to the cliff.

**"NO! I SPAT HER OUT! Now spare me,you shall recieve your-"**

"Send it in hell!" Matt said, he took out his guns and shot at his neck. Trace howled in pain.

""PISTOL!"

"GIRI!"

"COUP!"

"TEMPO!"

"FLUER!"

"ROSE!"

"FIRE BIRD STAR!"

"FANG!"

"TSUME!"

"DORAGON!"

Trace's tails shattered like glass when a large dragon made of water constricted him while everyone did their attacks, obly one tail was left as the crew went back on the cliff. He jumped onto dry land and was to reduced to a normal fox, he's only as large as Luna though. Raven walked up to him and held her staff above his head.

"Celestial..."

"Red Raven...remember this, you don't have the power of the wish wish fruit, I lent you my powers...if you let me live...I'll make your dreams come true..." Trace suddenly grabbed Raven's leg and took out his gun and held it to her head. "With my crew gone, you are the only friend I have...but, like the others, you tried to betray me so you can travel with the Straw Hats and seek the treasure hidden here! Later Red."

"JUMP HIM!" Matt said, he, Luna, Dawn, and Dusk held his hands and legs. "I Won't let you harm anyone else!"

"WHAT?! GET THE HELL-"

**"CLEAVE!**" Raven said while she slammed the end of her staff into his skull.

"Why me?" Trace asked. "I wish I had nakama like yours."

"You did, you just need to find new ones." Luffy said, Trace bursted into cherry blossems and died. "Poor guy...I hope he's alreight-"

"I killed him, you idiot!" Raven yelled. Ketsueki appeared, everyone held the weapons or clinched their fists.

"Now now, I'm not here to kill." he said, he dropped his guns n the ground. "I raise the white flag, anyway, I had a deal with Alucard, if he defeats Trace, he can drink my blood and not be vampire anymore. Matt, would you-"

"Yes..." Matt said, Ketsueki cut himself and Matt licked the cut on his hand. "Luna...you won't see loki anymore-"

"**just drink it! We'll feel better!"** everyone said.

"And you'll stop spying on us." the girls said.

"You knew?"

"No shit!"

"...oh..."

"Buy, maties." Ketsueki said, he was suddenly on the Lovely Fox, Trace's ship.

**"HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET ON THAT THING SO FAST?!"** everyone yelled.

"Sea turles mates." Ketsueki said. "The dead go on here. Matt, I hope this helps."

The ghouls boarded it and the ship disappeared. A weird fruit and a black note book was left in the same place where Trace was killed. Matt picked it up.

"A devil fruit!" Nami said, everyone walked along the coast line as they took off their kimonos, to their surprise, their normal clothes were under them. "Are you sure want want to eat it?"

"Not until I get it's identity!" Matt said, his Alucard outfit, minus his hat, faded away. He ws dressed up as a normal teen. "Drat, my gear's gone."

"That crappy outfit was full of shit." Sanji said, taking Matt's hat. "Thanks."

"Oi! That's my grandpa's!"

"I think it's a suke suke no mi." Chopper said, looking over his book. Matt and Sanji paused and stared at the fruit.

"MINE!"

"You two are just gonna use it to watch me bathe!" Luna yelled. "GIMMIE!"

"Hey, sunrise!" Luffy said, the Thousand Sunny was docked at Tentou City. "FRANKY!"

"Oi, Straw Hat, you took forever." Franky said as the all rushed on the beach.

"Ok, let's go-"

"Before you leave." Tsurugi said, he brought his daughter Yuri with him. "You folks had better go! The Marines are here!"

"STRAW HAT! SURRENDER!" crap! It was Smoker!

"Um...abandon ship!" Luffy ordered.

"Don't you mean, board ship?!" Dawn asked.

"Hurry!" Usopp said, he dragged Luna and Dusk. "Do your special attacks or something!"

"I can't find them!" Luna said, she looked on shore to see Yuri and Tsurugi waving at them with their sword, bow and arrows! "JERKS! WE'VE BEEN JACKED!"

"Too late!" Zoro said, the ship was blasted off and flew over a mile. When they landed, Raven gave an earsplitting scream.

"EEEEEEEEEEK!"

"What?"

"There! There! A...a ...MONSTER!" Raven screamed. "Watch!" She tossed Nami's mikan, it disappeared. "I'm telling you, it's unatural!"

"The mikan must've flew overboard." Sanji said.

"It stopped in mid air 10 feet away from the railing." Dusk said. "It can't go overbord that way,"

Raven took out Matt's gun and shot at nothing. "It won't go!"

"Stop shooting aimlessly!" Usopp yelled.

"Give me the note you have." Matt said, she handed it to him and he smiled. "Cool! A shinigami! Touch the note and you'll see it."

Everyone tapped Raven's book and saw a shinigami eating a mikan, he looked like Guuku, but the fur was black and his tatoo markings were blue, along with his eyes. A scythe was strapped behind his back while his necklace had shark teeth linked to one another. The skull had crimson designs on it. Luffy looked at it with stars, Usopp and Chopper flipped out, Zoro reached for his swords, Sanji went in front of Luna,Franky, Dusk, Robin, and Dawn stared at it, Matt held the book.

"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!"

"Trace didn't leave you with any ordinary notebook." Matt said. "He left you with a death note..."

"So you know of 'em? Name's Tsuki, Trace left the death note for Raven, right?" Tsukisaid, Raven walked over to him and tried to touch his arm, but it went through. "Red Raven...the moment you picked up that death note...it was then yours to use."

"...are you like Ryuk?"

"Yes...it's boring here, what do you people do for fun?" Tsuki asked. "And do you have any apples? I get withdrawl symptoms if I don't get any...an apple tree! Cha' ching!"

"Congradulations, freak, you had brought yet another freak on board." Zoro said to Raven as Tsuki sprouted wings and fly to the apple tree.

"I didn't ask for him."

"Gah, we're all freaks of nature." Matt said, he bit the suke suke no mi and swallowed it whole, then groaned, Sanji saw him and grabbed him.

"Spit it out! I want it!"

"I ate it!" Matt said, he started to fade. "Now you see me now you don't..."

"URGH! MATTHEW!" Dusk said, the invisible Matt had pulled Sanji's pants down, he was wearingwhite boxers with red hearts.

"MY EYES!" Usopp said. everyone else laughed at Sanji, who blushed madly. "Hey, Loon, you hadn't said anything."

"Of course I hadn't, I've seen them before!" Luna said, everyone paused. "Whoops. My tongue slipped..."

Everyone else laughed at the two while Tsuki sat in the tree smiling as he bit an apple. "This ain't so bad...it seems pretty interesting, anyway."

* * *

Tsuki means "moon"


	15. Narutard aboard 3 Friends left to Answer

Disclaimer: I don't own One Piece

Chapter 15: Narutard Aboard! Three Friends left for the Call

"Oi! Get the sake!"

"Serve it yourself!"

"Gimmie more meat!"

"Matt! Stop pulling down Sanji's pants!"

"It's still funny!"

"Matt! You're a dead man!"

"Are there any apples?"

"Yeah, I picked them with my mikans."

"Great!"

"If I don't drink I'll get withdrawl symptoms!"

"Hold!"

"Crap! I lost!"

"My money!"

"Sanji-kun, can you get the sake?"

"Hai, Luna-chan!"

**"FLAMING JUTSU!"** Sanji flew out of the bar and into Zoro, who flew into Dawn, who flew into the wall with flames fallowing.

"Narutard alert!" Dusk yelled. "Abandon ship!"

"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?!" the three yelled, the flames calmed and a girl around 16 (same height as Luna) with long blue hair came into view. She had the Leaf Village symbol on her head, her shirt was dark blue while she wore jeans. Zoro and Dusk tried to pounce her, but Sanji stopped them.

"I think she's a woman, no one attacks a woman in front of me." Sanji said.

"Um, I believe she attacked you with flames." Tsuki said, holding his large sythe like a staff. "Why are you protecting her?"

"Heya, Loon! It's me, Chehero-"

"ATTACK!" Luna yelled. They all jumped her, Luna got Chehero's neck under her foot. "You still hunting me?"

"What are you talking about?" Chehero asked. "I don't wanna kill ya! I just fell asleep in Winston's science class! Let me explain." Luna and the girls let her go.

(Flashback)

_"During the reaction of..." Winston, a 45 year old man dressed in a suit, said as the class listened...ok, not ALL the class was listening. Luna and Raven were trading Naruto cards while Matt was reading Hellsing, Dawn as throwing gum at the ceiling with some other boys (i really do that in class and our cience teacher does NOT care, it's funny!), Dusk was drawing a picture of Zoro killing Sanji, Chehero (who just came back from Russia) was trading cards with Luna and Raven. "Girls, are you paying attention?"_

_"Yes, sir." the three said, tossing their cards on Matt's desk._

_"Good, then what's the formula of water?"_

_"...salt?"_

_"...acid?"_

_"...pepper?"_

_"Wrong! Detention, you girls!" Winston walked back to the front. "Anywa...blah, blah, blah..."_

_"This is boring!" Luna said. _

_"No really." Raven said. _

_"I wish I was in Leaf Village." Chehero said._

_"...blah blah, you get into groups of_ _six and try to make blah blah blah." Dawn, Dusk, Raven Chehero, and Matt went to the same desk Luna was at. Luna took out a kit with different bottles. She started to randomly pour anything in a becker that was set above a fire._

_"Luna, you might think of putting a little acid." Matt said. _

_"Nah, I'm just doing what Sanji does." Luna said, she put a little acid in it._

_"And what does he do?" Chehero asked._

_"Expirament!" _

_"SHIT! THAT WORKS ONLY IN ANIME!" Raven said, the formula exploded in Luna, Dawn, Dusk, and Matt's faces, but Chehero jumped out of the way. "It smell's funny." She passed out._

_"Mr. Winston!" Dawn said, Dusk was checking Raven's pulse, but she passed out too. "Raven and-gah, screw it." She was out out._

"_Dawn?" Matt said, by the time Winston came, Matt fell over and was gone._

_"Everyone! Get out!" Winston said, the class came out and the school nurse came with some parents, they dragged the band out of the lab and onto the campus. "So, Chehero, what happened?"_

_"We were trying to make the chemical you asked us to make but it went wrong when we added acid." Chehero said. After an hour, Dawn got up and was healthy, but the other three were still gone. "I'll get your things." _

_"Thanks., See you later. I had this weird dream, I was on the Thousand Sunny and Luna and Sanji were ball room dancing."_

_Chehero went in the class room and got their backpacks, she check Luna's desk and smelled the sleeping gass. "It's still here?...crap, I forgot!" She suddenly passed out._

(End of Flashback)

"There you have it." Chehero said.

"So we're all passed out." Dusk said.

:Wait, that part when you said I woke up." Dawn said. "Crap!" She disappeared forever.

"Dawn!" everyone yelled.

"Take me with you!" Dusk said, taking her hand, but it went through. "NOOOOOOOOO!"

"She woke up!" Luna said. "I figured how to get us home!"

"How?"

"Commit suicide!"

"No!"

"Fine...it sounds cooller though."

"Yawn! Gosh, I'm tired, science is boring." Chehero said. "I brought some manga."

"Yay!" the three girls said. They fallowed her to the library as Matt disappeared, Sanji kicked him and he flew on deck.

"How you know I stood there?"

"I can smell calone...my calone." Sanji said, Matt went off to wherever while Sanji decided to smoke under the apple tree.

"What's the noise going on out here?" Tsuki asked from above. "Not planning on killing each other, are we?" Sanji jumped in fright when the shinigami jumped down while biting an apple.

"Shut up."

"Raven tells me you and Luna love each other, yet Matt gets in the way."

"It's not your problem to get into." Sanji said, walking away, Tsuki fallowed. "Don't you have some people to kill? You can fly over to an island."

"Too much trouble, I'd rather stay here and watch the fun."

"C'mon, there's gotta be a good reason why you carry that sythe with you. You use it as a murder weapon, right?"

"No, death notes are the only thing we shinigami use to kill without touching our victems. Since everyone on deck had touched it, you are all owners of it. The sythe is just a thing we shinigami have, just optional."

"So if I get ahold of a death note, I'll kill anybody?...sounds useful, if I wanted to take over the world."

"How about those pretty women?"

"...let me think."

"If you wanna know the name of your victem...you make an eye trade with me."

"Eye trade?"

Tsuki finished his apple and started to eat another. "...(munch munch)...you get a pair of shinigami eyes, in return, you lose half of yoou lifespan. The eyes help you see another's lifespan."

"Inresesting, what if I want only one eye?"

"...you lose 1/4 of your lifespan, if my math is right."

(Next Day)

"OI! CHIEF BOY! YOU LOOK LIKE SHIT!" Matt yelled, pointing at Sanji.

"Guys, shut up," Chehero said. She and Luna were trading again. "Okey, Sakura for Naruto-"

"Flaming Jutsu!" Matt said, shooting flames.

"HOT, MY PANTS!" Sanji screamed, his pants were burned off, so only his boxers were on. "I'm not supossed the fear fire...but this does NOT count!"

"Same thing, you screamed." Zoro said. "Now put some pants on."

"I just lost them!"

"Then get new ones."

"ARGH, Matt!" Sanji said, he tried to kick, but Matt disappeared and tripped him. He appeared again.

"You can't attack women."

"So?!"

"Sexy Jutsu!" Matt, girl, transformed, no clothes, yeah. Sanji, Zoro, Luffy, Chopper, and Usopp got nosebleeds while the rest gave disturbing looks and sighed. "Tee hee, mwah!"

"Sanji-kun, pay attention!" Nami said. "It's just fake!"

"Hey, an island!" Usopp yelled, as Matt switched to being a guy, Sanji kicked him.

"It's got a port filled with stores and cool stuff!" Nami said. "Steer there!"

"Hai!"

(Shore)

Chehero and I are going around." Luna said, she and Chehero jumped ship and walked off, Sanji tried to fallow, but Nami held him back. "And don't try to fallow me."

"But-"

"Sanji-kun, Luna wants a break for a while." Nami said. "Why don't you-"

"If he's with you, I'll go with Luna." Matt said, he went off.

"I guess we'll stay here." Zoro said. "You ladies go and shop or something."

"FOOD!" Luffy yelled, running with Usopp and Chopper to a random resturant. "GIMMIE!"

"I feel funny." Dusk said, she suddenly passed out and fell overboard. '

"Dusk!" Raven shouted, Zoro jumped in, but returned to the surface with nothing. "WHAT DO YA MEAN YOU CAN'T FIND HER?!"

"Urgh, it's pretty shallow, but I can't find her, she's nowhere!" Zoro said, getting on board. "After hearing what Chehero said, I think you people are starting to wake up."

"So." Franky said. "Tiger is gone? You kids keep poping in and out of this place like it's fake!"

"Huh?" Raven said, she looked at her hands. "CRAP, I'm disappating!"

"And?"

"HELP ME!"

"Do we look like Chopper?" Zoro yelled. "We don't know what do do!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" Raven was gone.

"What do we do now?" Fanky asked, there was a long pause before the two walked away and whistled as if nothing happened. Tsuki went off and picked up his death note, he went around the town until he found Luna and Cehero, he expalined what happened.

"She WHAT?"

"Woke up, is what you call it." Tsuki said, handing Luna the deathnote. "Here."

"Gee, thnks." Luna said, **WHAM! **"HOGE!"

"Luna!" Chehero said, she was knocked out by some force. Sanji and Matt appeared from the bushes.

"Luna-chan/sama! WHAT'RE YOU DOING HERE?! DON'T ASK ME, I WAS FALLOWING HER!"

"Oi, these two were robbed of their deathnote." Tsuki said, the two were carried gathered the rest of the crew and set sail.

"Why did you have to take us from our shopping time?" Robin asked.

"Because...we are all in danger-" everyone fell over to Sanji's statement.

"We're ALWAYS in danger!" Usopp said.

"No, worse, if the deathnote is gone, Raven, Dusk, and Dawn's disappearences, Chehero and Luna-chan's ambushes are managed to be connected, then someone will kill us ALL!" Sanji said, they were in the kitchen, Chopper appeared with Chehero. "How's she doing?"

"This is weird, she's lost a lot of blood, but there's no sign of any injuries though." Chopper said. "Oh, and Chehero's got the Hie Hie no Mi."

"It was a weird thing." Chehero said, taking a seat. She took out from her pocket a devil fruit. "We saw this sitting on a pedistal in the park and I took it-"

"You mean you stole it?!" Usopp asked. "No wonder people want to kill you now!"

"Hey, there was a for free sign on it!" Chehero said, she placed it in the center of the table. "And it looks cool-"

Nami took it from the table.

"Oi, I found it!"

"Yes...but I can sell it for money!"

"How about i eat t?"

"No, you'll just turn into ice."

"Duh."

"Anyway, I'll save this until we sort this whole thing out. Nami said. "And get the deathnote back."

**SLAM!**

"Okami, you're up already?" Franky asked, Luna slmmed open the door and took her seat. "Tell us who stole the deathnote."

"No idea, but I think they're on the ship-"

**CRASH! **It wqas raining and thunder and lightning rolled it. The door opened again, a cloaked man, Grim Reaper!, came in, he held the deathnote. Tsuki stood beside him. "Gimmie back the hie hie no mi, or I'll kill you all in one foul swoop."

**GLOMP!** Out of fear, Chehero ate the fruit in a secobd. "Wha fwoot?"

"...I'm on the wtong ship then." the man tossed Luffy the deathnote. "Here, they dropped it."

He left the crew in an awkward silence.

"Hey, where's the fruit?" Chopper asked. Everyone turned to Chehero.

"He scared me!"

"BAKA!"

**blib blib blib blib blib**, the man left a den den mushi at the door, along with a piece of papper, Sanji reached for it. "Resturant le Crap, wanna make a reservation-?!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!" some guy was screaming at the other end of the line. "March 2."

Sanji hung up and panted.

"Who was it?"

"Me?"

"Don't get it." Zoro said. "Maybe it was a prank call-"

"No, if I say it was me, it was me!" Sanji said. "I'm not high!"

"It says this." Robin said, picking up the paper.

_"What will it sond like when you die?  
Who will be next to get the call?  
When the call goes strait to voicemail, your world goes strait to hell."_

Luna shuddered. "Those are the tag lines from One Missed Call, America's version."

"Oh, I love that movie!...the Japanese version was better though." Chehero said.

"How could you like it?!"

"Can someone please explain to us what this thing does?" Usopp said.

"Anyone who gets those calls die, they're given the date of when they die."

"Yeah, and I die on my birthday-"

"Which is three days away." Matt said. "Joy to the world, Sanji's gonna die."

"SHUDDUP!"

"Heh, I heard of these things." Tsuki said, everyone went quiet. "The ghosts are more deadlyer and funner than a deathnote, they only attack by den den mushis, though. That man must've wanted to be rid of these things, so he left it with us. Until we find the sorce of these events happening, we're going to have some fun on the rode to hell...I knew something fun would happen."

"What do you mean ghosts are funner?! They're out to kill us!" Chopper said.

"How come you know this much?" Nami said.

"I'm a shinigami, I'm supossed to know these things...Kuro Ashi Sanji." Tsuki took out his sythe and held it to Sanji's neck. "You're a marked man."

There was a long silence as everyone stared at the den den mushi.

**Blib blib blib blib blib...**

Tsuki burst into laughter. "Go ahead and pick it up! Who's willing to be the next to pick up the call?!"

* * *

OMG! I just watched One Missed Call, that movie is realy scary...I get scared everytime is see "one missed call" on my cell phone now, especially at night time when I'm alone in my room...O.o...


	16. Emo Erocook

Disclaimmer: the stuff, yada, yada, yada

Chapter 16: Emo Ero-cook! (Whee!)

_"ANSWER THE CALLING!" Tsuki laughed, thunder stricked again. "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"_

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" Sanji woke up from his bed panting, he looked around the see the guys sleeping. The clock showed 6:00, he washed his face clean before he went out on deck to find it was morning, but everyone else was asleep. Only Luna was awake, she was leaning against the railing. She turned around.

"I heard you from here, did Matt kill you yet?" Luna asked.

"No...I keep dreaming the same thing over and over for the past three nights."

"Oh...well, happy birthday!" Luna said. Sanji paused, crap! he's dying on his birthday... "Anything wrong?"

"Sorry, Luna-chan, but I need to go somewhere." Sanji said, he left to the bathroom and locked himself in there. He stared at the mirror. "Shit! Everything Luna says is crazy, but they're true! No matter how far fetched they are! Yes, I've believed her this far, but me dying on my birthday?! She says that this world is a dream world and her world is the "real world"! She loves me and I love her, but this is insane, I can't die this early!" Sanji smashed the mirror with his bare hands, he backed up against the wall and sank to his knees and buried his head in his arms, then sighed. "If this is a dream world...I can't die, but I keep getting close to death." He clenched his fists, causing more blood to seep out of his cuts. Urgh."

"Smashing mirrors? What's next, walking under ladders, black cats?" Matt said, he suddenly appeared. He sat on top of the sink. "You woke me from my beauty sleep...hearing to way you talked, you're realizing the truth, huh?"

"Shut up, you'll never know what I'm going through." Sanji said. "Now get out, or you'll end up like the mirror."

"Hey hey hey, I know how ya feel!" Matt said. "Let me just say this, you can get yourself out of this death penalty, whatever you do, don't get yourself killed. One time I was sent to death row in prison because someone framed me for killing a whole family, but then Raven saved me by getting the real suspect behind bars. When I was there, I thought I would die, but...a bird saved me."

"How'd you get yourself in that?"

"Let's just say I was in the wrong place in the wrong time. The guy was about to kill Luna, but I stepped in...nevermind about that, just get out of here and cook for us-"

"SANJI! MEAT! I'M HUNGRY!"

"Yeah, shit face, where the hell are you?"

"Gimmie apples."

"Sanji-kun!"

Instant moodswing! Sanji went from emo to gay/happy and he rushed to the kitchen, he started to cook whatever crap for the crew. Tsuki walked with Matt. "He's screwed."

"Tell me about it, what I told isn't real, I just wanted him to cook food for me. I don't care that much for him."

After breakfast, everyone left Sanji alone so he could sulk at the bar. It started to rain again, but no one came inside, so he stayed until midnight. He started to smoke as all the doors flew open, he nearly choked on his cigerette. "WHAT THE-?!"

A cloaked ghost like firgue made of ice came floating towards him, it carried a sythe and a gun. Sanji fell off his seat as the ghost floated closer, then said while holding the sythe in the air "HAPPY GOD DAMN BIRTHDAY!!"

"Huh?" Sanji noticed Matt as he revealed himself, Chehero was on his shoulders, using her powers to make herself into an ice like creature. Everyone else appeared and threw confetti at Sanji and laughed. "...sigh, I thought I was going to die!"

"For once, you nearly pissed yourself." Zoro said, there was a large BANG! and everyone was thrown off their feet. 'WHAT THE HELL?!"

"Guys..." Usopp was staring out the window, a daunting figurehead of a 13 headed dragon was seen. Everyone ran out of the kitchen to see a large galleon rammed into the Sunny Go's starboard side. Ghost like creatures started to spill out of the portholes. "It's cold, scary, oh, just kill me."

Chehero tossed Matt and Luna some sticks and took out her own. "Use the wands, I stole it from my brother!"

"Do we look like Harry Potter?!"

"Just do it."

"EXPCTO PATRONUM!" the three yelled, a wolf shot out of Luna's wand, a lobo (Mexican wolf) came out of Chehero's, and a horse came from Matt's, the rammed into the ghosts and the ghosts fled. "Hey, it works."

"What were those things?" Chopper squeaked.

"Let me guess, this is another lovely present from Luna-chan for my birthday." Sanji said, he hugged her. "Whatever it is, I had a good scare with the first surprise."

"...this is NOT a trick."

"...you're kidding me."

"Nope...it is physically IMPOSSIBLE for me to tug a great galleon like this and shove it into the Sunny Go's side!" Luna said pointing at the galleon. "I mean, it's HUGE!"

"I believe you."

"Robin, what's wrong?" Nami asked, Robin was looking at the hull.

"The ship's called the _Eternal Sonata_." Robin said. "That's the name of the Devil Hunter's ship."

"Well, it looks like it's in pretty bad shape." Franky said. "She must've sailed through a typhoon, her main mast is nearly cracked in haf and the rudder's down."

"I remember being on that." Matt said. "As Loki of course. The only thing I remember was, use him to open it. A broken heart's the best, they said."

"The smell of death emits from it...let's jump on." Tsuki said.

"Let's just not go on, I don't like this." Nami said. "C'mon, get the ship out of the hull or something."

"You know, I saw a room stacked to the ceiling with treasure-"

"Nevermind, let's go in the ship!" Nami said. (coughmoodswingcough) "And find the treasure!"

"Adventure!" Luffy said, he was already on the sonata's deck! "Hurry up!"

Luna's nose started to twitch. "Luffy, get back, I-" He gave a yell and was gone. "Crap, he vanished!"

"We shouldn't be going on ships like that." Zoro said, darkly. "People who go into those things...never come back!"

"Hmph, we've seen worse." Matt said. "We went on the _Queen Mary _and stayed there for a week."

"On a ship that big...Luffy can be almost anyware!" Usopp said. Sanji leaned over, causing Luna to fall over on the grass. "Sanji!"

"We can't get on that thing..." Sanji said. "I have no idea how, but...we can't get on."

"And how do you know? We didn't even jump!"

"I just hear voices saying not to get on." Sanji said, everyone stared at him. "What?"

"Alley oop!" everyone said, they tossed him on the Sonata. "When you find Luffy, get him back!"

"Hey, you can't just toss him like that!" Luna said. "W-wait for me!" She leaped over.

"Luna-sama!" Matt said, he fallowed, along with Chehero.

"I wanna see dead people!" Chehero said. "C'mon, get on!" Everyone sihed and fallowed her grudgingly. Franky and the "oh so brave" Usopp stayed behind to get the Sonata's hull out of their ship. "Luuuuuufffyyyyy!"

"Luffy!"

"Captain!"

"Crap-kid!"

"Mugiwara!"

"Heya!" a small girl was behind them, she had a bright smile. "Why are ya screaming?"

"Little girl, stay away from us, I know exactly what happens in movies, so please, don't pull off anything like "I lost my doggy" or "please help me get off this ship" or even "play hide and seek with me" shit" Luna said, turning around to face the girl. She was small with purple hair.

"Luna-chan, who are you talking too?" Sanji asked.

"She talking to the little girl." Chopper said.

"Huh? I don't see anything." Zoro said, staring at her. "Unless you drank grog, you're losing your heads."

"I only study real things, but...I read that certain ghosts can only be seen by animals." Robin said. "Since Chopper and Luna are part beast, they should be able to see things-"

Luffy suddenly jumped in front of them and Nami screamed. "DEAD GUY!...oh, it's just you...BAKA!" she started to hit him hard on the head. "DON'T SCARE ME THAT WAY!"

"Ow!...ow!...ow!..."

"We got Luffy, let's go." Sanji said, turning, but the girl took out a large bayonet and jumped towards Sanji. Luna lept in front of him and got stabbed in the stomach, she slouched over while gritting her teeth. "Luna-chan!"

"Drat, I missed!" the little girl said, she took out two more bayonets. She tried to jump, but Luna got up and lept on the girl in beast point, she was stabbed again, but on the back twice. She ripped the girls head off and lood covered her face and chest.

"I told you, death is written all over." Tsuki said, smiling. "That's your killer Sanji."

"Don't tell me, but did I just see Luna-sama get stabbed three times with knives that were floating in the air?" Matt said.

"Don't talk, let's just get back on the ship! Sanji, take Luna!" Chopper said. "Hurry, I sence more coming!"

"Yeah, I agree." Zoro said, they all decided to jump back on the Sunny, Franky and Usopp managed to free the ship in time. "Luffy!"

"Fine..." Luffy said, jumping on board. "I wish I stayed on longer..."

"Heh, heh, heh, I love seeing pain." Tsuki said, eating an apple. They started to set sail as the sun came up.

(Meanwhile)

"I don't get it." Chopper said, he stared at the bayonet he just removed from Luna's stomach. "There's no sign of blood on the bayonets or cuts on Luna, but when I pulled it out, it was sunk in her skin real deep."

"Are you SURE you saw the little girl?" Sanji asked. "It could've been a guy, if it was, I'll kick him to hell."

"Positive!" Chopper said.

"Let me see that closer." Robin said, he handed her the bayonet. "See that marking on the handle? It says "Sanji, to be thrown at either stomach or back"."

"Talk about a death penalty." Nami said. "And the killer wanted it to go to Sanji and only him."

"I don't see how he could scream from that." Matt said. "Luna didn't-"

"Then let's make you scream!" Sanji said (heh, that sounded wrong), he took the bayonet and held it to his neck.

"DON'T HURT ME! I bruise easily." Matt said, Sanji gave that "I'll kill you" look.

"RAPE TIME!" Chehero yelled. Everyone turned to her, Robin and Nami were snikering while the guys just stared. "SANJI! STOP MOLESTING HIM!...sorry, but the way they were standing, it looks...naughty!" At this point, everyone burst into laugter.

"3...2...1, pull!" Chopper said, he and Usopp yanked the last bayonet and Luna woke up. "Do you feel fine?"

"I just have a sudden urge to yell something...ah, RAPE TIME!" Luna yelled, everyone, minus Matt and Sanji, and her fell over laughing. "HAhAHAHAHA!"

"I sometimes wonder if what I'm dating is even real." Sanji said, dead silence swept the room. "I mean..what do they teach you at Sunday school?"

"We don't go there." Matt said.

(Next Day)

"Whoa! Amazing!"

Tsuki was watching Sanji in the kitchen, Matt had burned yet another one of Sanji's best (and favorite) shirts, so he stood there with no shirt on. The shinigami watched in amazement while Sanji had his back to him, Tsuki rushed out of the kitchen and alerted everryone.

"S-sanji's AMAZING!" Tsuki said.

"Why? Did he turn into a homosexual?" Matt said.

"Or did he put the moves on Luna?" Zoro asked.

"I'M RIGHT HERE!" Luna said, she was standing next to him.

"Oh."

"No...he turned the slices of aples into bunnies for me!" Tsuki said, he held out the dish with the apple slices that looked like bunnies. "Aren't they cute?"

"Tsuki, you should quit being a shinigami." Nami said.

"Huh? Wuz that?" Tsuki asked, staring at the apples.

"Nevermind...hey, what are you tossing out?"

"The den den mushi." Usopp said, he chucked the snail into la la land and sighed. "No more of that crap."

"Hey, Robin." Chehero said.

"Yes?"

"Luffy won't shut up."

"Take him to Sanji."

* * *

I ALWAYS wanted to have Sanji act emo..my friends read this chapter and cheer in happyness...WHEE!!


	17. Catch Me if You Can

Disclaimmer: I don't own one piece

Chapter 17: Catch Me if You Can

"Who wants to play...the Handcuff Game?" Luna asked one day.

"What's that?" Luffy said.

"You spend a day handcuffed to another person, but that's the easy part...I will be picking who's it." Luna said, she blind folded everyone's eyes and her own (lovely) then Chehero spun Luna in circles. "O-okay...t-time ta c-choose."

**clink**

**clink**

"Who did she pick?" Sanji said with hearts as everyone took off their blind folds. "Robin-chwan? Nami-swan? Che-?!"

"Dear lord." Matt said, he held up his hand, a long chain connected him to Sanji, who shot death glares. "Please don't hurt me, I bruise easily."

"Oh, I'll give you something that's better than a bruise." Sanji said, raising his foot.

"Oh yeah, I'll do better." Matt said, he took the chain and his hand, wrapped it around Sanji's neck and started to pull.

"Gack! Ack! Splutter!"

"Ha! This is for stealing my girlfriend! This is-"

"This is getting boring." Luffy said, everyone left the room. Sanji pulled Matt with him and fallowed Luna.

"Luna-chwan? Where's the key?"

"That's the thing." Luna said. "Only me and the ladies know."

"I can only say this...it's on Luna's body somewhere." Nami said, shrugging.

"Er...yeah!" Luna said, agreeing, she made her voice slow and soft. "Its could be...anywhere...I don't know where Nami hid it-"

"Yo hohohohohoho, with pleasure!!" Sanji said, he and Matt jumped and tried to get to Luna, but she stepped to the right and both boys crashed into the rails.

"You have to catch me off guard though." Luna said, sweat dropping. "Yeah."

_Oh...come on, try to catch me  
Oh...catch me if you can!  
Oh...come on try to catch me  
Oh... catch me...of you can!_

"Luna...give me the key." Matt said, he dragged Sanji and chased Luna around the ship, she ran into the spa room. The two entered to see Robin about to take a bath. "Huh?"

"Um..." Robin said. "Can you two please leave?"

"Yes, Robin-chwan!" Sanji said, having a noseblee, he dragged Matt and kicked him. "Idiot! Robin-chan was bathing!"

"How was I supossed to know?! You saw her rush in there!"

Meanwhile, Robin reached into the bubbled water and pulled Luna out. "They're gone."

"Thanks." Luna said. "Did they find out where the key is?"

"Nope, not yet. They're not bright, are they?" Robin said, Luna left the room and went on deck.

_Look out! It's time the world was headin' for a  
New thing, it's time I got ahead  
Get back! Nothin's gonna stop me and I  
Won't quit 'til I'm sittin' on the top_

"Chopper!" Sanji said, "had you seen Luna?"

"She went to the crow's nest." Chopper said, Sanji started to clib up to the crow's nes, but Matt lost his footing, so he hung by the cuff.

"Pull!"

"URGH!" Sanji said, yanking the chain, Matt landed right next to him. "No one better call me uncreative after this."

"What are you guys doing here?" Zoro said, waking up.

"Looking for Luna-chan." Sanji said, checking some crates. "Did you see her?"

"No, I was sleeping."

"Urgh, you're worthless." Matt said. The two left and Luna popped out from the wind (she was on the roof).

"Phew." Luna said, jumping into the room. "That was close."

"Why are your clthes wet and why is there bubbles in you hair?" Zoro asked.

"Nothing." Luna said, jumping down.

_Never give up when the going gets rough  
I know I'm gonna make it through  
To just try will never be enough  
I'll show you there's nothin' that I can't do_

"I know!" Sanji said, he rushed to the kitchen and took out a bottle of rootbeer. "This is going to be easy. I drugged this with sleeping pills...where the corkscrew?"

"Near your knives."

"How'd you know where they are?" Sanji asked, uncorcking the bottle.

"I know everything." Matt said. "You bite your lip when you know you lost in an argument, your color is blue, your favorite band is Flogging Molly (like Luna), you try to slip a sleeping pill in Luffy's food, you tend to sleep while sitting up next to the wall, you say 'hoge' instead of shit when you're alone, you try to watch the ladies take a bath, when you sit you put you right leg over your left,you smoke over 200 packs of cig in a month, you keep 100,000,000 beli in your pillow, your favorite place to kiss Luna is her neck, AND you hide your porn magazines in the same place where I hide mine, in the bathroom under the cabinet."

"Okay, how'd you know ALL my habits?!" Sanji asked.

"I stalk Luna, but since she's with you constantly, you get in the way sometimes." Matt said. Luna entered the room.

"Oh, Luna-chan, do you need a drink?" Sanji asked.

"Sure." Luna said, she looked at the bottle and then suddenly jumped on Sanji, casing him to fall backwards, she shoved the bottle down his throat and he drank the contents. "YOU take it!"

"Glug, glug, glug." Sanji started to choke and Luna left them. "Zzzzzzzz."

"Dude! That's not good." Matt said.

_Oh... Come on, try to catch me  
Oh... Catch me if you can! (Yeah)  
Oh... Come on, try to catch me (Oh...)  
Oh... Catch me... if you can!_

"Urgh...urgh...huff,huff...urgh!" Matt carried Sanji on his back out of the kitchen to see Luna sitting on the apple tree with Tsuki. "Sanji, wake up! There's a sexy girl in the tree!"

"Girl?" Sanji woke up instantly, by the time they looked up, they only saw Tsuki. "Shinigami, where's she?"

"...crunch...find the long nosed kid."

They found Usopp in the library looking over several books while Chehro was reading a manga.

"Had you?"

"Nope." Usopp said.

"I guess we'll leave." Sanji said, the two left the room, Luna appeared behind them and shoved ice cubes into the back of their shirts. "Cold!"

"Frreezing." Matt said, Luna rushed past them and laughed evily.

"Victory's mine!" Luna yelled, imitating Stewey from Family Guy.

"She's dead!" Matt yelled, he came tearing after Luna with Sanji dragged behind. "GIMMIE THE KEY!"

_(Come on, come on, catch me now! Catch me, Pokemon!) Oooh...  
(Can you come and catch me? Can you now? You can't catch me anyhow!)_

_Get up! Let's see what you're made of (made of)  
Bring it on! You know I'm not afraid (I'm not afraid)  
There's no way that you can slow me down now  
It's time to show you what I'm all about_

"Bring it on, you know I'm not afraid." Luna said, Matt jumped and tried to punch her, she jumped and kicked him. Sanji came up from behind her and grabbed her in surprise, she gasped. "glack...uh-oh..."

"Where's the key?" Sanji asked.

"...you made me swallow it." Luna said.

"You WHAT?!" the two yelled.

"Hey, you scared me!" Luna said, she suddenly coughed out something silver. "There it is!"

"Wait!" Sanji said, he stared at it. "That's her necklace..."

"Oh...that means I still have it?" Luna asked.

"Well, apparently!" Matt said.

"Yay!" she ran off.

_I never give up when the going gets rough  
I know I'm gonna make it through  
To just try will never be enough  
I'll show you there's nothin' that I can't do_

_Oh... Come on, try to catch me  
Oh... Catch me if you can! (If you can)  
Oh... Come on, try to catch me  
Oh... Catch me... if you can!  
Try to catch me!_

(Night, in Kitchen)

"Huff...huff..."

"Gasp...gasp..."

"So, how was your adventure?" Nami asked, the two glared at her. "Nevermind...it seems that you've landed in the fish tank filled with sharks, got your clothes ripped to shreads, and nearly burned to death."

"I don't see how this game is fun." Sanji said. "Zoro, cut us loose!"

"No...now go cook for me." Zoro ordered.

"Oi! Cook!" Franky said. "C'mon, make something! It's 11!"

"Apples!" Tsuki said. Chehero walkd passed them.

"Chehero! Help us!"

"The next time you catch me in the bath, you're screwed for LIFE!" Chehero yelled.

"Luna-chan, if you don't unlock me...I'll break up with you!" Sanji said.

"So? I won't mind...too bad no one's gonna help me look for the key." Luna said. '

"I take back what I said!"

"Yippe!"

"Where's the key?" Matt asked. "We're out of breath, so just tell us."

"Fine...Luffy!" Luna yelled, he came up to her.

"Yup, yup?"

"Gimmie the key."

"Yup!" Luffy said, he reached into his pants (i mean IN his pants) and pulled out a grey key. "Oh, yeah, I caught tonight's dinner." He reached down and pulled out an octapuss. "Cool, huh? You can't have it."

"WE DIDN'T ASK FOR IT!" everyone yelled at him. "FOR ALL WE KNOW, IT'S BEEN IN YOUR PANTS AND-"

"OI! no need for details, sheesh." Luna said, she walked over to Matt and held his neck. "Here's your prize..." She suddenly shoved the key down Matt's throat. "FOR STALKING ME!"

"Spit it out!" Sanji yelled, he jumped Matt and started to kick his neck and stomach"SPIT-IT-OUT!"

"COUGH!" the key flew out of his mouth and into Sanji's hand. "You could've done CPR."

"My way is faster." Sanji said, uncuffing the both of them. "I guess I'll start cooking now."

"I need sleep." Matt said, he fell asleep on the floor.

"You people are freaks." Zoro said.

"That's not the first time I heard that." Franky said.

"Luna...how come you're still wet?" Nami asked.

"I had to jump in the bath to lose them." Luna said. "...again...I'm gonna change."

"Where'd she get the handcuffs anyway?" Usopp asked.

"She found them in Sanji's room." Chehero said. "Pretty dirty."

"Urgh."

"Apples!" Tsuki yelled, charging into the room. "BUNNIES!"

"WTF?!" was everyone's expression when they watched Tsuki yell about apples and bunnies.

"..here, take them." Sanji said, handing over the tray.

"Heh, heh, heh. Me treasure!"

"Chug, chug, chug!!" Chehero said, she was watchng Matt and Zoro in a drinking contest. "Par-tay! Par-tay!"

(Later)

"Night folks." Matt said, he walked passed Luna, who was carrying a bottle. Everyone, minus Sanji, left. "Huh?"

Sanji shook the bottle, then uncorked it, the cork hit Matt's head. "Whoops, my bad...not." The champane fizzed out and he poured some into two glasses, Matt rubbed his head and went off. "A toast! It's been a full year since we met."

**Cling!**

(Meanwhile)

"Robin." Nami said.

"Yes, ms Navigator?"

"My champane that was supossed to be Sanji's birthday gift is gone."

"Zoro jacked it?" Chehero guessed.

"Nope, where's Luna?"

"In the kitchen."

"..."

"..."

"...:0...holy...SHIT!" Chehro yelled. "Images! I'm getting WRONG pictures in my head!"

* * *

I don't own the song Catch Me if You Can...it's from the first Pokemon movie...yes, I love pokemon...the handcuff game is true, we play it at school cuz my friend bought handcuffs from somewhere.


	18. The Mystery Land!

Disclaimer: don't own one piece, all right?

Chapter 18: The Mystery Land!

"C'mon, sing Sanji's song next!" Matt said.

"Take my hand, honey!" Luffy and Usopp sang.

"SHUT UP, THOSE AREN'T THE WORDS!!" Sanji and Luna yelled.

"Yeah they are, i have lyrics right here." Matt said, handing over four pages. "You shouldn't leave your music sheets lying around...Sanji."

"You write music?" Chehro said. "This'll stir things up for fan girls in Tokyo." she whispered.

"Of course I write music, I play the piano, a bit of violin, and saxaphone." Sanji said. (a random fangirl from Neverland squeeled) "I wrote this on the Baratie...and how come I heard a squeel?"

"No idea." Robin said. "You must be imagining things."

"You play music?! Cool! Play some now." Luffy said.

"I can't, you little twit! As you can see, we got no piano or saxaphone!" Sanji said.

"Aw, I was always asking for a musician...why didn't you play for us ealier?"

"Because we didn't have a piano or saxaphone on the Going Merry!"

"...how about now?"

"Whatever, I don't feel like playing."

"Luna, sing for us!"

"No."

"How about you dance, then, like you did in Egypt." Matt said. "My favorite bellydancer-"

"She's a belly dancer?!" Sanji asked.

"We were just playing around that time, okay?" Luna said.

"Oh, I remember!" Chehero said. "You were pretty good...you got all the guys whooping for you-"

"Shut up!" Luna yelled, bonking her best friend and stalker. "...let's just sing Desert wa kimi..."

"Take my hand!" Luffy, Matt, Chehero, Usopp, Tsuki, and Chopper started to sing.

"THAT'S NOT HOW YA SING IT!" Sanji yelled, the ship suddenly lurched up then down, everyone was thrown everywhere, Luna looked down from the rail.

"The hell?! The waves are getting too big!"

"No duh, it's a typhoon!" Chehero yelled. "Navigator, why didn't you say anything?!"

"What are you guys doing on the ground?" Nami asked. "Everything's fine."

"Oh...then I must be dreaming." everyone said, a large akita with a black coating appeared along with a red collar, panting. He was as half the size of Luna's beast point.Chehero stared at it, then pounced it.

"Chekidore!" Chehero yelled hugging him. "I missed you so much!...you're such a mess!"

"He says that he was kicked in the head by Sirius, Luna's horse" Chopper said. "I think he's fine, though."

"I forgot, I left him with Luna for a while." Chehero said. "Never knew he would be at the stables."

"Oh, he says that he brought a few friends." Matt said.

"How did you-?"

"I ate the tongue tongue fruit before."

"Oh."

"Sirius!" Luna said, a large gray horse stood at the lawn, along with a scarlet macaw flying around it. Luna jumped the railing and hugged him while Matt held out his arm.

"Fuego!" Matt said, the macaw flew to his arm and bobbed his head, Matt took out a nut for him. "How are ya?"

"Is this ship a zoo or a barn?" Franky asked.

"These are just our pets...Luna's dad's a racehorse breeder, Chehero's mom raises akitas, and my parents take care of macaws..." Matt said. "Fuego has a thing to say."

"Sanji's a bastard, Sanji's a bastard! squawk!" Fuego said, everyone laughed while Sanji fummed.

"Shut up! Or I'll cook you for dinner!"

"Ha! Ha! Ha!"

"Land! I see land..." Usopp said, they made it to an island and docked off at the beach.

"ADVENTURE!!" Luffy yelled, he, Chopper, and Usopp ran off with Chekidore trailing behind them.

"Chekidore!" Chehero yelled, she jumped ship and ran off after her dog. "Bad doggie!"

"Outta the way!" Luna yelled, she was suddenly on Sirius, who reared then galloped across the deck (Sanji and Zoro ducked under the rails) and jumped, then landed on the white sand. "Hiya!"

"LUNA-CHWAN!" Sanji said, but Nami pulled him back. "Nami-swan?"

"Can you fix us a drink?"

"Hai!"

Soon, everyone was on the beach, Luffy was playing fetch with Chehero and Chekidore, Zoro was sleeping under a tree, Usopp and Chopper were talking to Fuego and Matt was feeding him nutts, Nami and Robin were enjoying ice cream under an unbrella while Sanji prepared coconut juice, Franky was walking around deck, trying to come up with a new weapon, and Luna was practicing racing with Sirius. Fuego suddenly flew next to Nami and she caressed his head.

"What a cute bird."

"Squawk! Mellorine! Mellorine!"

"...?..."

"GUYS! Party's over!" Luna said, everyone paused.

"we just got here." Nami said.

"Navy." Luna said, pointing to the right of the beach. Everyone sighed, packed up, and left on the ship. Sanji decided to serve the now finished coconut juice to the ladies, he came up to Luna. "Thanks." A small object whizzed past Sirius, a dog whisteled well...whistled, and one of Fuego's feathers were "shot/plucked" off.

"BARK! BARK!" Chekidori started to howl .

"SQUAWK!" Fuego was scratching Zoro in the face.

"Argh! FUCKED UP BIRD!" Zoro yelled.

"NEIGH!" Sirius was rearing.

"WOULD ALL OF YOU THREE SHUT YOUR ANIMALS UP?!" Franky yelled. "I CAN'T THINK!!"

"Sirius! Hold it! Hold it!" Luna said, putting down her cup. He reared again and kicked her, Sanji glared at the horse. "Don't hurt him!"

"Chehero!" Luffy yelled, Chekidori bared his teeth at Chehero and lept. Luffy held his collar and held him back.

"Thanks." Chehero said, meanwhile, Sirius was kicking the air, Sanji crept closer and whispered to him.

"Shush, I'm not going to hurt you." Sanji said, Sirius stopped when Sanji peted his head. "That's a good boy-"

"Get down!" Robin said. Sirius suddenly reared again and charged at the rails, then jumped onto the lawned deck. "He's going to jump overboard!"

"Not unless I can help it." Matt said taking out his gun, he shot several rounds at Sirius' hooves and the horse fell over. "I think a bullet got through him."

"You could've stopped him in a safer way!" Luna said, running at Sirius. "There's only one reason why animals would react this way."

"Uh-huh." Matt agreed.

"No...please." Chehero begged.

"Who?" Nami said.

"...Reese..." the three said

"You people got it right for once!" a kid around Chopper's age jumped from the apple tree said. He looked like a surfer dude with the Hawiian shirt and baggy shorts, he even had a necklace with a sea shell as a pendant.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO (this "no" is so long, it'll take up ten pages)" Chehero yelled endlessly for ten minutes.

"What?" Zoro said when she paused for a breath

"It can't be! He's my...younger brother!" Chehero said, on her knees and crying. "Why?! Why?! Why him?! I'll take anything but this!"

"You aren't happy to see your brother?" Reese asked.

"Let me guess, he's that bad of a brother." Nami said.

"The worse! I thought mom sent you to Hawii to be with dad! For once, I knew my stupid brother would be something miles away from me!"

"Hey, I was only visiting Lake Tahoe for the summer break."

"THAT is what made it worse." Luna said. "We hate him so much, even our pets get pissed."

"Sik 'em, boy!" Chehro ordered, Chekidore jumped and started to bite Reese in the-

"It hurts!"

"Stop this, I think the guy's pretty cool, but i still want him to be a man when he joins my crew!" Lufy begged.

"It hurts watching!" Chopper said.

"Heal, boy!" Chehero said. "Fine..."

"Yay, the torture has stopped!"

Luna switched to demon point and snarled in his face. "For now."

"Mommy...I know how to get home!" he said, he pulled out a large grandfather clock with the clock face being as large as a table.

"You're kidding me." Nami said.

"It looks like a time machine." Robin said.

"Behold! Reese's Escape Machine of the World that was Developed by a Pure Smart Ass Called Reese!"

Sanji looked at Luna and whistled "coo coo!" while doing the coo coo sign.

"I know." Luna said.

"Now, ladies and germs." Reese said, grabbing Luna and Chehero and Mat's hands. "If you allow me to use the contaption."

"Ah! So it's a mystery clock!" Luffy said. The three were fallowed by their pets as the went inside. Reese did the Michel Jackson moonwalk, the elevator, the robot, then he hit a small button. Nothing happened.

"Hmph, I thought this would work." Reese said, they wentoutside.

"Cool! They're back!" Luffy yelled.

"Baka! Nothing happened!" Zoro said.

"One Piece of shit!" Reese yelled, kicking his retarded piece of work. It started to glow and a vortex appeared in the clock, Luna, Chehero, Matt, Reese, Chekidore, Fuego, and Sirius were being pulled in. "Aw...CRAP! Grab something!"

"What's going on?" Franky asked.

"well, by the looks of things." Robin said. taking out a book. "When Reese-kun kicked his machine, a vortex appeared. Judging by the way the clock looks like, it seems to be a time machine. The moment the vortex appeared, I realized that the time space continuem has gotten out of hand, resaulting in-"

"JUST GIVE US ANSWERS!" everyone yelled at Robin.

"sigh...in other words, Reese-kun fucked up time." Robin sighed.

"Oh, that'sthe best thing to put this!" Usopp said sarcastically.

"Luna-chan!" Sanji yelled, he grabbed her hand, but they started to slip.

"Oh well...shit happens!" Luna shrugged. Chehero was holding on to Luffy's foot.

"Can't hold on!" Luffy yelled, Chehero released his foot and went after Luna.

"Luna-sama!" Matt yelled, he and Fuego jumped ahead. "You're comming too!" He grabbed Reese by the collar of his shirt and dragged him into the clock. In a matter of seconds, the grandfather clock vanished, Sanji stared at the spot where it was standing, then got to his knees.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Sanji cried (cue in dramatic music)

Everyone stared at the spot too.

(Many Chapter/Mangas/Episodes/Movies Later)

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH, I'M SUEING YOU, REESE!" Luna yelled as they were falling from the sky. Sirius passed out from shock. Matt had Fuego in his shirt while Chehero kept Chekidori in her jacket like Kiba and Akumaru.

"WELL SORRY! I DIDN'T KNOW THIS WOULD HAPPENED!" Reese said.

"WHEN WE GET HOME, I'M TELLING DAD THIS, THEN I'LL GET YOU GROUNDED FOR LIFE!!" Cheheo said.

"YOU KNOW LUNA, I REALLY LIKE YOU!" Reese said. "WANNA GO OUT-?"

"SUDDUP, SHE'S MINE!" Matt yelled.

"WHAT YOU WANNA GO?! OKAY, I'LL FIGHT YOU!"

"GIMMIE YOUR BEST HIT!" the two started to fight each other.

"HELLO, WE GOT WORSER ISSUES!" Luna said. "I DON'T KNOW, LIKE, WHERE THE HELL ARE WE GONNA LAND?!"

"...no idea." Chehero said. "LOOK, THE SUNNY!"

(Hundreds of Feet Below on the Thousand Sunny)

"Why do I hear screaming?" Usopp looked up into the sky. "It's kids!"

"You mean Luna-chan's back?!" Sanji asked. "It's been weeks! no, months! (lucky not years)...wait, let's just throw a party!"

"SOMEONE, CTACH US!"

"Rumble!" Chopper said, taking a rumble ball. "Guard Point!" He becage an extremly large fluff ball.

"Yosh!" Matt yelled as the four teens were saved. The jumped down from Choppers hair and landed with a thud. "I thought I was going to die."

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!" Reese laughed, Luna started to kick him in the head.

"That wasn't funny! We could've died!"

"I thought I's going ot die too!" Reese laughed even harder.

"Yo hohohohohohohoho...what buetiful ladies to fall from the sky, perhaps they are goddesses?" a familiar voice said, the four teens turned and smiled.

"Brook!" Chehero and Luna yelled, they rushed at him and hugged him. "OMG! We're your fans!"

"It seems that I'm popular with the girls, though I'm a skeleton with no flesh." Brook held out his hands. "Yo hohoho! Skull Joke!"

"Skull joke!" Luffy, Luna, and Chehero laughed while doing the same pose.

"Where's Tsuki?" Matt asked looking at the tree.

"Um...the deathnote was tossed into the vortex." Usopp said.

"So he went after it!" Chopper said. A black note book fell from the sky, Brook picked it up. "There it is!"

"Someone say my name?" Tsuki suddenly flew in. Brook turned around, then screamed, Tsuki screamed too.

"G-"

"S-"

"GHOST!!" Brook screamed.

"SKELETON!" Tsuki screamed.

A giant bird flew in, carrying a heavy package, and dropped it in front of Luna.

"Hey, a mystery box!" Luffy pointed out as Luna opened it. Her sword from several months ago was in there, only, it looked like the Sword of Dormin from Shadow of the Colosus. "Ooooo!" She held it in the air and a ray of light shinned west.

"We sail that way!" Luna said, pointing her sword ahead.

"Sure, the Grand Compass is pointing that way anyway." Nami said.

(Hours Later)

"Land!" Franky said. Everyone saw cliffs and a water way. "Should we go up river?"

"Yeah." Luna said. "We have to fallow the light!"

Eventually, they came into a bay, Franky dropped anchor and everyone jumped off and onto the beach.

"It's a mystery land!" Luffy said, running ahead.

"Looks a bit eerie." Robin said, they saw a path that went up the cliff. Luna rode Sirius while Chehero was on Chekidore's back, yes, he's strong. "We should stay alert."

"Ah, don't worry." Sanji said. "Luffy's already excited."

"Adventure, adventure, adventure!" Luffy chanted with Usopp and Chopper as they finally made it to the top. A large, vast plain streched out before them. A LARGE temple was to the left/south. "Let's go look!"

Again, another hour passed before finnaly reaching the temple, they went inside to find a row of large statues ahead of them.

"Do...you hear something?" Luna asked, the floor rumbled and shadow beings appeared from the floor. Everyone yelled in fright (minus Robin) as they advanced towards them. Luna got off and pointed her sword at them. "Feel my wrath and begone!!"

Shadow beings: (feels wrath)

They sunk into the floor. And another rumble occured, this time, they looked at the ceiling to see bright light.

"Thou posses the Sword of Dormin?" Dormin asked.

"Who the hell are you and where are you?" Luffy asked.

"We are Dormin."

"Never heard of you." Luffy said.

"...who thou might be?"

"Monkey D. Luffy, the next King of the Pirates!"

"...never heard of thou. State thy names, quickly, we do not have all day."

"Roronoa Zoro."

"Usopp."

"Nami"

"Nico Robin."

"Franky."

"Sanji."

"Brook."

Tsuki kept quiet, but Dormin said,"Shinigami must state thy names also."

"You can see me?"

"Gods can see other gods."

"Fine, it's Tsuki."

"Matt Scott."

"Chehero Uchira." (it's pronounced oo-chi-ra)

"Reese Uchira."

"Luna Moonstone."

"The four last children, thy aren't from this world."

"Well, duh." Luna said. "We're trying to get home, oh, and we're NOT kids."

"We shall help thee return home."

"YOSH!" the four teens said, jumping in joy.

"But thou pirates must assist Us..."

* * *

YOSHA! I have Brook in the story! He's here! And we ALL love his Skull Jokes!

Yo hohohohohhohohoho! Indeed!


	19. You Want Us to do WHAT!

Disclaimer: you know the drill I don't own anything...

Chapter 19: You Want Us to do WHAT?!

"What thou wants thy to do?" Matt mocked, trying to copy Shakesphere. Everyone snikered. "Thy shan't do such tasks, for thy-"

"THOU SHAN'T MOCK US IN SUCH WAY!" the temple trembled. "FOR THOU SHALL BE SENT HOME BY US, but thou destroy the idols behind thou. After thou has done such a task, We shall send thou home. The idols cannot be broken by mortal hands, but with thy sword, thou is possible to do it."

"Wait a minute." Sanji said. "How are we to trust a god we don't even know? I don't want to get mixed up in being the chosen ones shit."

"I know this!" Reese said. "I played this game and beated it about, what, 50 times?"

"So, what does Dormin do in the game?" Matt said.

"...I forget, all I know is how to kill the monsters."

"Hold thou sword in thy light and thou shall find thy path to a beast similar to the idols."

"So the sword's got a compass? Cool!" Luffy said.

"Now thou shall be on thy way." Dormin said. Everyone started to take the stairs and looked out onto the large stretch of land ahead of them. "Hold thy sword up."

Luna unsheathed it and it pointed south, where the cliffs are. "Let's go!" She hoped onto Sirius.

"WAIT!" Dormin belowed, everyone rolled their eyes and went back. "To make things easier, use thou swod to direct thou, the sacred land has been shattered into many islands, this was the main part. Sail to each island directed by the sword and thou shall slay each beast. Each land has one collosi, start here, for there are two collusus on this land."

Dormin spoke again,"Thou must defeat-"

"Yeah, yeah, we know." Matt said, everyone ran off to the cliff. Eventually, they made it to the edge "Whoa, it'll take hours to-"

"Hurry up!" Luna and Chopper said in their beast points, theu were on top already.

"How the hell did you get up there fast?!" Chehero yelled.

"Um...how about we just stay here while everyone else goes up?" Usopp asked.

"Fine with me." Luffy said, stretching his arm and jumping onto the cliff. Zoro, Sanji, Franky, Matt, Reese, Brooke and Robin made their way up and paused.

"You hear something?" Luna asked, her ear tilted to the left. Suddenly-

**BOOM! CRASH! BOOM! BOOM!**

"Awsome!" Luffy said, everyone else stared up to see a giant minotuar walking by them, they gave the open mouth, wide-eyed look.

"Raise thou sword to show thy vitals." Dormin rumbled. "Then strike them to slay the beast."

"YOU WANT US TO DO WHAT?!" they all yelled. "THAT THING'S BIGGER THAN GIANTS!"

"Hey, We don't make up the rules."

"His vital is on his leg." Robin said as Luna held up the sword.

"Stand back, Luna-chan, Robin-chan." Sanji said, running after the beast and kicking its left leg in the back. Nothing happened.

"Did I mention, only one person shall be able to slay a colosuss, the person is the one who posses the sword, so...thou girl with wolf powers is the person to slay it." Dormin said.

"WHAT?! It's too much work for her!"

"Oh well!"

"It's all right." Luna said, she started to run up to the minotaur and stabbed its leg, it came down.

"Good! Now climb up!" Reese yelled, Luna grabbed the fur, then jumped until she reached the head, there was a glowing symbol. "STAB IT!"

**WHAM!** Luna dug the sword into the beast's skull and twisted it and jabbed it deeper until the minotaur fell to its knees and died. She jumped off with blakish purpleing blood covering her front side, everyone surrounded her as she panted,"Reese, you said you played the game, right?"

"Yeah."

"What happens at the end of a battle?"

"You faint and get sent back to the temple." Reese said, Luna fell over and was out cold. "Also, since she has the sword, she'll be playing the wanderer named..Wander."

Sanji carried her bridal style and walked off."

"Where're ya going?" Luffy asked.

"To the ship, if Luna-chan has to go up against all 16 of those things, she'll die! It's an uneven match!" Sanji said, he jumped from ledge to ledge and got Luna on Sirius, they rode off. Everyone else made their way down the cliff, Usopp and Chehero said,"What's up with him?"

"Hmph, he's too scared for Luna's safety." Zoro said. "She can handle those things by herself."

"Wait, what direction did he go?" Reese said.

"To the ship, it's in the bay-" Franky said, Reese ran off. "Why?"

"The second colosuss, Quadratus is there!" Reese said. "Sanji doesn't know how to handle it, and Luna's out cold, if they wake him up, they'll have not a single chanse! They'll be crushed! We gotta hurry!"

"What?" Matt yelled, everyone ran off with Reese and Matt in the lead as they went to the bay. Sanji was already at the bottom and a gigantic bull was going after him, Sirius laid past out on top of Sanji while was under him with his belly being crushed by Sirius' sides. Luna was several feet away covered in blood. "LUNA! Sanji, you bastard!"

"He came out of nowhere!" Sanji yelled, trying to get up, but couldn't. Quadratus started to creep closer to them. Matt started to run down the cliff while everyone else stood there and watched what was about to happen. Quadratus reared and had his hooves above Sanji and Luna, then started crashing down. "So, this is the end of a love cook."

"SANJI-KUN, GET OUT!" Nami said.

"I can't watch." Usopp said, looking away. Just a split second before it was even 6 feet from Sanji and Luna, Matt slid right next to Sanji on his back and pointed his two guns at the hooves.

**BANG! BANG!** Matt had just shot two bullets into the hoof, the colosus landed several feet away and laid on the ground on top of its right leg where Matt shot.

"Grab the sword and get on its back, stab its head first!" Reese yelled from above.

"Easy for you to say, you're just standing in a safe place." Matt grumbled, taking Luna's sword, he started to make the long climb up the leg and eventually made his way to the head. He stabbed the symbol on his head until it disappeared.

"Now head for the ass!"

"The WHAT?!" Matt said, Quadratus shook his body and Matt flew all the way to the back and landed on the symble above or on (whatever) its ass. He stabbed it repeatedly until the bull fell over dead. Everyone made their way down the path as they saw Matt stabbing the sword next to Sanji's head. "Even you couldn't fight for yourself."

Chehero and Luffy helped Sirius get to his feet and Sanji managed to get up, but Chopper held him down.

"You broke over two ribs when Sirius landed on you, you can't get up yet." Chopper said, but Sanji brushed him away as he picked up Luna bridal style over to the Sunny Go. "Sanji..."

"Don't mess with him right now." Tsuki said, he helped carry Sirius with Chopper and Chehero to the ship. Franky weighed anchor and they started to set sail, they head slams and thuds from the kitchen, Nami, Robin, Chehero, Luffy, Usopp, and Reese went to check when it was night time. "Hmm." They opened the door a little and looked trough the crack. Chopper was wrapping bandages around Sanji's waist as he argued to Matt. "This hould be fun."

"BAKA!" Matt yelled at Sanji. "You nearly killed Luna!"

"How was I supossed to know that thing was there waiting to ambush me?!" Sanji yelled back, trying to get up once in a while, but Chopper would hold him back. "She's not yours! DAMN IT CHOPPER, DON'T PUSH HAD!!"

"Then stop moving!" Chopper said.

"You know what, this is how I feel about you and Luna being together. Chopper, get out!" Matt said, Chopper scrambled to the infamary. Matt walked over to Sanji and punched his broken ribs, he fell over grabbing them.

"Urgh, you can't attack a sick man!" Sanji gritted, getting on his knees and coughing out a bit of blood. "At least I'm more concerned for Luna-chan's safety than you-"

"Shut...up...about...my safety." Luna said, she started walking out of the infamary. The two stared at her. "I don't care what any of you two think, all I want now is to go home."

"But you were nearly killed!" they said.

"Reese, I can smell you, tell me, what happens after each battle?"

"_How did she know_?" Reese tought. "You just faint and wake up later."

"See? Everything's fine." Luna smiled. "Now, let's just come up with more stratagies and get home."

"Hai! Luna-chwan!" Sanji said, forgetting about the arguement, but Matt clenched his fists, then relaxed.

"How can you be so calm when you know you nearly got killed?" Matt asked calmly.

"I don't mind, what's life without a little risk?"

"That's what I like about you! A carefree girl with life as her happyness." Matt laughed, he grabbed her in a tight hug and kissed her, the door opened and everyone stared at the two with opened mouths, Sanji was breathing fire to show his feelings about being pissed off. "After your mom's death, everything changed for you." Luna slapped him across the face. "What?"

"Don't EVER talk about my mom's death in front of me!" Luna said, slapping him again. "All you did was _try_ to call for help!"

"I did!"

"The ambulence arived 30 minutes later, my mom was dead by then!"

"Yeah, but I-"

"You were flipping out! What the hell were you doing?!"

"Yes, that too, but-"

"That's why I can't trust you! I never trusted you, that's why I say no to you!!" Luna said, she left and slammed the door.

"Luna, ugh, she's right."

"So..." Luffy said. "Wha was the whole point of that fight?"

Sanji made his way on deck and saw Luna tending to Sirius, he was on the ground while she was checking his bones, Sanji sat next to her as she started to check the hoof."Is he going to be all right?"

"How did he get injured?" Luna asked, removing all the horseshoes.

"Erm..."

"You were trying to get me on deck, weren't you?" Luna asked, turning to him.

"I didn't know there was a-?"

"That large bull surprised Sirius and forced him to trip, right?"

"Yes-"

"And you landed under him."

"Yeah-"

"You were careless." Luna said, he kept silent as she nailed the second harseshoe then pausing. "I don't have that much concern for my safety, all I care about is Sirius, my mom game him to me before she died. He'a the last thing I have from her. The second thing I care about is getting home, I'll do anything to get back, even if it means getting killed."

"..."

"What I'm saying is this, don't worry about me." Luna said, kindly.

"Oi! Chopper! Luna's not a demon anymore!" Luffy yelled.

"But...(yawn)...I'm tired." Luna said, she leaned towards Sanji and fell asleep. "Night."

Sanji kissed her again, meanwhile, Matt glared at them from the upper deck. He pressed his hand against his cheek and leaned against the rails. "Damn bastard, you'll wish you never fucked with my head."


	20. We QUIT for Two to be Cursed

Disclaimer: I DON'T own One Piece

Chapter 20: We QUIT for Two to be Cursed

(Next Day)

"Sail east." Nami said. "That's where the sword pointed to."

"Giant monsters, giant bulls, ghosts...my heart can't take this much anymore, wait, I don't have a heart!" Brooke said. "Skull Joke! Now, okami-sama, let me see your panties."

"In hell!" Luna said, kicking him in the head.

"Oi, oi, oi! She's harsh!" Brooke said, getting up.

"Land!" Reese yelled. He pointed at a very tall structuter that looked like a disc on a large pillar, a stairway came down from it, but it was partly broken.

"It doesn't look like an island." Zoro said. "Are you sure there is a colosus there?"

"Yo, I played the game, man, so I know EVERY trick." Reese said, they docked close to the stairs and Luna, Luffy, Reese, Sanji, Matt, and Chehero started to climb up. They jumped the gaps and made their way to the top, but an invisible barrier blocked the guys and Chehero, allowing Luna to cross. "Huh? This wasn't here."

"Thou friends shan't interfere with thou's battle." Dormin said, a large pile of rubble rose to its feet, Luna looked at it wide eyed when she saw its right arm was a sword. "That is Gaius."

"Luna-chan!" Sanji yelled, Luna jumped out of the way when the sword came crashing down on her. It was stuck in the ground, but he removed it and swung again. "I can't watch." He fainted as Luna dodged again and got on the sword. It violently pulled out the sword and Luna flew from the sword to the-

"AHHHHHHHH! ooff!" To the head.

"You just pulled off the sword to the head jump!" Reese said. "Stab!"

Luna dug her sword into the skull until the symbol disappeared.

"Now...get to its belly!" Reese yelled, Luna made her way to the belly and started to stab again.

"Die! Die! Die!"she chanted. Eventually, Gaius fell to his knees and Luna was suddenly thrown off the platform thing.

"LUNA!" Matt yelled, he was able to get on the platform and he looked down to see Luna splash into the water, then sink. "What to do? What to do? What to do? What to do?!"

"Sanji!" Luffy yelled. "Wake up! Wake up!" He punched him in the head and Sanji jumped to his feet.

Chehero pointed towards Matt. "Luna fell over and I think she's in the water!"

"What?" Sanji yelled, he started to run towards Matt and looked over the edge to see waves below him. He jumped over.

"Is he insane?!" Chopper screamed. "That's a 300 meter drop!"

Chekidore started barking while Fuego flapped his wings and screeched. While Sanji returned to the surface empty handed. "DAMNIT!" He dove under again.

"Reese, go help him!" Matt yelled at Reese as he flung him into the sea.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!"

**SPLASH!**

Everyone else made it to the ship while Nami asked Matt,"Where's Luna and Sanji?"

"Luna was flung over and Sanji went to go fetch her." Luffy said. "Let's go-"

"Found her!" Sanji said, he got on deck with Luna. "Let's go back to that "god" and speak with him."

"Agreed." Matt said.

"Yeah, there's not much to do anyways." Luffy said.

(A Day Later)

"THOU HATH DECIDED TO DO WHAT!" they roared.

"We quit." the crew said, Luna threw the sword on an alter.

"I don't think I wanna go home, I figured out what you're going to do to me when I kill everything." Luna said. "C'mon."

"WAIT!" Dormin yelled, they ignored him. "WE CURSE THOU LUNA!!"

"Later" Tsuki said. "I guess we're not gonna see each other again...thanks for the tip"

(1 Hour Later)

Nami sat near the bow and looked at the sky to see a giant bird drop a heavy package on her head. "Ow, STUPID BIRD!" She looked at the tag. "Luna, a bird left you a present!" Luna ran over to her.

"Oooo! I love gifts!"Luna said, she looked at it, then opened it. An image dial was there. "Hmph, it's just a stupid seashell."

"What you got there?" Brooke asked, she handed the shell to him and he screamed as he dropped it. "Toss it away! If you watch what ever is there, you'll die!"

"Uh-huh." Chehero said, staring at the shell. Luna went off to a dark place and switched the image dial on. She watched a movie that was similar to the cursed tape from the Ring, the images stopped and she went out side. "There's a letter for you."

Robin handed her an envelope, and Luna opened it. "Seven days."

"Okami-sama." Brooke said, grabbing her. "Did you-?"

"yeah, so?"

"What, c'mon." Luna said, she stared a the shell. "Well..."

(Later)

"That was the most retarded video I watched." Sanji said in the kitchen. "Where'd you get it?"

"No idea."

"Letter for cook-san." Robin said, handing Sanji the same letter she have to Luna. He looked at it, then took out his lighter and lit it.

(That Night)

Luna slept in her hammock, then something woke her, she had the urge to go to the kitchen. Maybe a snack? She made her way on deck and opened the door to see the table was gone. In its place was a girl (Samara) sitting in a chair that looked like the one from the film, Luna hesitated before walking towards her. Samara lept from the chair and grabbed Luna's left arm.

"STAY AWAY FRM ME!" Luna yelled, she found herself in her hammock, she panted hard while Robin flicked the lights on.

"What is it, okami-chan?" Robin asked, Luna lifted her left sleeve and they saw a marke in the shape of a hand burned into her skin. "How did-?"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!"

"Sanji-kun!" Nami said, the ladies raced to the men's cabin and saw Sanji showing the same burn mark to everyone.

"A girl just grabbed me." Sanji said. "She's just..."

"I have to ask, you two did watch the dial, didn't you?" Brooke asked.

(Next Day)

Sanji was wistling Drunken Lullabies as he passed Sirius, who was tied to the post. "Hey, boy." Sanji reached out to pet him, ut he stired. "I'm not going to hurt you." Sirius started to rear. "Hold it!'

"What'd ya do?" Luna asked, Sirius started to flip out and he kicked the post to free himself. He raced around the deck, Sanji and Luna tried to grb him, but he managed to escape the two. "Someone, catch him!!"

Robin spouted arms on Sirius's hooves and tried to stop him, but he managed to stomp on one of them. She fell back with her left arm broken. "Urgh!"

"DUCK!" Sanji yelled, he and Luna got on their stomachs as Sirius jumped over them and the rails and overboard. Sirius stared to struggle as Matt took out his gun and pointed it at him.

"MATT, DON'T-"

**BANG!** Sirius was suddenly out cold as Matt blew on his gun.

"YOU JERK!" Luna yelled, trying to slap him.

"I only got him with a tranqulizer, so cool down." Chopper started to tend to Robin's arm while Chehro stared at Sirius.

"Why do I feel like things are going to be like Hell?"


	21. Day 2, Dopplegangers Appear

Disclaimer: I DON'T own One Piece

Chapter 21: Day 2, Dopplegangers Appear

"Hey, Usopp, what's that picture you drew?" Nami asked, looking at a panting in the library.

"Oh, Loon's birthday gift a week from now." Usopp said.

"It looks weird, is it a new kind of art?"

"What?" Usopp stared at it. "Holy shit! Why's Loon's face all blured?!"

"I don't know, you tell me."

(Meanwhile)

"I made your favorite-" Sanji entered the spa room with a glass of coconut juice, he dropped it when he saw the same girl from his dream last night standing in the same place Luna was. "Juice?"

"Found you." Samara said, but Sanji grabbed her and threw her into the spa, then took her neck and pushed her under the surface as he jumped in with her.

"Stay away from me, you bitch!" Sanji yelled as he held her neck tighter. "Where the hell is Luna?!"

"Luna, are you done? I need to bathe-" Chehero walked in to see Sanji on top of Luna trying to drown her alive. "SANJI! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH LUNA?!"

Matt, who was walking by and being the perv he is, fainted when he heard Chehero yell that, Brooke had his ear against the door to listen.

She shoved him away and grabbed Samara, who was actually Luna. Luna coughed out water as Chehero helped her out of the spa room while Sanji fallowed her. Brooke gave a grin to Sanji, who just stared into space. "I tried to drown her, idiot."

"Yo hohohoho! That-wait, you what?!" Brooke asked, very shocked.

(That Night)

"I refuse to believe this." Nami said after dinner, the crew was listening to Chehero's story. "Why would he drown her?"

"Don't look at me." Chehero said. "I just saw it."

"Perhaps what Dormin yelled at Luna was true." Robin said.

"Judging by the way everything's happening, we're in a crossover of the Ring and the Ring 2." Matt said. "And since there isn't a video tape around here, we can't copy it."

Luna sat on a chair with a towel over her head, Luffy turned to her,"Oi, Luna, ya look a bit pale."

"NO SHIT! MY BOYFRIEND NEARLY DROWNED ME!" Luna yelled, as she yelled at him, she started to cough up more water. "GACK!...I need to fix myself."

She managed to get up and head for the bathroom, she looked into the mirror. Her reflection was so messed up she nearly screamed, she waved her hand in front of her face and the reflection moved or so. "Okay, this is trippin' me out."

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a purple haird girl walk down the hall. She fallowed her, only to find Sanji in his room,he got up and walked to her, but she backed away after thinking of being drowned by his hands.

"Stay away from me!" Luna said, she ran off, he gave a shocked look. Now, to my fellow readers, those four words shattered him like glass. His eye twitched as he went to his desk to write a love letter, he placed his pen on the paper.

_Dear Luna-chan,_

A blonde guy walked past the door out of the corner of Sanji's eye, Sanji whipped around while his right hand continued to rite, he turned and frouned. He drew circles on the blank space under the greeting. Tsuki entered the room from the ceiling, causing Sanji to nearly yell. "Damnit, don't do that!"

"Can't help it, listen, you saw a guy walk pass that door?" Tsuki asked.

"Yeah." Sanji got up to leave the shinigami, but he fallowed him. They turned a corner to see the blonde guy with white eyes soaked to the bone. "HOLLY SHIT!"

"Sanji, meet Dead Sanji, your doppleganger. Seeing it means death." Tsuki smiled. Sanji saw that his dead self had a handcuff chanied to him, the chain was dangling at his side. His clothes were tattered and had hole in them. "You can't harm them, they can't harm you while you can harm only yourself, neat, huh?"

"Uh-huh." Sanji said, uninterested. "An I'm betting it's one of your jokes."

"Nope, he is real. When you see them, you die the same way they did." Tsuki said while walking away. "Gotta talk to okami-san."

(Kitchen)

"Okami-kid! Have you lost it?!" Franky asked, Luna was shooting at the door with Matt's guns. "Stop wrecking the ship!"

"I'm telling you, someone's fallowing me!" Luna said, reloading, Matt grabbed her.

"Just...stop." Matt said, he opened what's left of the door and the purple haired girl walked in. "DEAR MOTHER OF-"

Usopp, Chopper, Brooke, Chehero and Nami were flipping out while Luffy was saying how cool the thing was, Zoro had his hand on his sword, Franky, Reese, and Robin kept their cool.

"Let's have her be part of my nakama!" Luffy said.

"She is." Tsuki appeared from the floor. "It's Luna doppleganger, Luna, meet Dead Luna."

Dead Luna looked similar to Sanji's doppleganger, along with the handcuff and the white eyes.

"Wait." Matt said. "Aren't dopplegangers from the movie The Abandoned? You know, Marie or so and Noklai or someother?"

"Yep." Reese said. "I love horror movies."

Sanji entered to kitchen with his doppleganger trailing behind him. The crew stayed quiet for a while, until Luna started choking over nothing. She reached in her mouth and started to pull out a brown string, the crew looked at her in disgust as she started to pull out a rusted thingy from the movie she saw. "What the hell is this?"

"You use it to close a large envolope." Chehero said, Sanji started to choke too. "Um, I need to go out for some fresh air."

"Right with you!" Usopp said, the crew and Dead Luna left Sanji and Dead Sanji alone.

"Maybe I shouldn't have said no to Dormin." Luna said.

"Gasp, I thought that too!" Reese said sarcastically. "Thanks to you, we're going into a major cross over between all the horror movies that scared the shit outta many Americans, including me!"

"I suggest we all go to bed." Nami said. "We'll figure something out later."

(Bathroom)

"Dare you to." Matt said, he and Reese were near the bathroom.

"You'll give me all your porn magazines at home?" Reese asked.

"Yosh."

"Fine." Reese went inside and closed the door. "Bloody mary, bloody mary, bloody mary-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-" (if i continued that, it'll be 100 pages long)

"Reese! Reese!" Matt yelled, he banged the door open and saw Reese on the ground. His face was covered in blood, Matt turned to the mirror and saw a girl backing away and vanishing. "CHOPPER!" He dragged Reese to the men's cabin.

"What? What? What?!" Sanji asked as the men were woken up. Usopp merely fainted when he saw Reese. "Chopper."

"Yeah? EEEEEEK!" Chopper screamed. "Docter! Wait, I'm the docter."

"Franky, get rid of the mirror." Luna said, she entered the room. "I can hear things, so I'm guessing that Bloody Mary can get on deck."

"Aw, man, someone just kill me, I can't take much more of this." Matt said, a black haired guy entered the room, his throat was sliced, so blood was pouring out.

"Matt, meet Dead Matt." Tsuki yawned. Another man came in the room, he was soaked to the bone with wine and grog, he had a bottle in his hand and his eyes were red. "Oh, and Reese, meet Dead Reese. This is getting exciting!"

Luna went outo of the room and she managed to make her way back to the ladies with Dead Luna trailing after her, Tsuki fallowed her. She saw the lights were on and everyone was still awake. Chehero had the covers over her while a blue haired girl stood there, tied around her neck was the rope Luna uses to handle Sirius.

"ah, Chehero, meet Dead Chehero." Tsuki said, he left.

"You don't expect us to sleep near that thing, do you?!" Nami asked since her bed is closer to Chehero's. Chekidore was cowering under the bed.

"I don't really mind." Robin said. "Remeber that shinigami said that they can't harm you, so we're safe."

* * *

SAFE?! Yeah right Robin, I got a special plan for you. aye, VERY special...(lightning flashes)...MWAHAHAHAHA!


	22. Day 5, It's Up the Stairs and in Cosets

Disclaimer: don't own one piece, all right?

Chapter 22: Day 5, It's Up the Stairs and in Cosets

Robin stayed in the library, researching about dopplegangers. A cat was at the top of the stairs, it pured, catching her attention. She looked up to see it was very dark at the top. White, pale arms appeared and grabbed the cat, she knew those weren't hers. And since when did Luna or the other kids have cats for pets? A scratched up noise started to click or so at the top. (similar to the Grudge) Robin placed her book down, the noise got louder as she climbed the stairs. Her heart started to race, but she had that calm face. Suddenly-

"Chekidore!" Robin said, she sighed. The large akita pranced down with Chehero going after him as Dead Chehero fallowed suit. "Chehero-chan, have you heard anything out of the ordinary as you came down here?"

"Beside the fact that a ghost is stalking me, no." Chehero said. "Why?"

"Nothing." she lied, she walked up on deck.

For the past 3 days, everyone's all distant with Sanji, Luna, Matt, Chehero, and Reese ever since their ghosts appeared. But with Sanji and Luna, they were at least 3 or more yards away from each other. Sirius was placed FAR away from Luna so he won't go mad. She was trying to relax under the tree in beast point, the whole crew hadn't been able to get some sleep. Luna and Sanji would wake up at the same time from nightmares and would yell about Samara. Normally, it would be Chopper or Chehero waking up in the middle of the night from a bad dream. And the dopplegangers, man, they are NOT plesant to sleep next to. Usopp, Franky, Luffy, Brooke, and Chopper had bags under their eyes while Nami would fall asleep on the wheel. Tsuki, however, was having the "most fun" of this voyage. Robin walked over to Luna and sat next to her. "Okami-chan?"

She said nothing and got up so she can go to the back of the ship where she can't be seen. Sanji called out,"Everyone, lunch is ready!"

Everyone got to their seats while Luna stood at the door in human opint. Sanji blocked her way. "I can't let you in."

"WHAT?! I wanna eat!" Luna said, she tried to get in, but he gently pushed her outside.

"Sanji-kun, what's the matter with you?" Nami asked.

"Everytime I go near her, I'll have an urge to kill her, I don't want to hurt her." Sanji said, closing the door in Luna's face.

"How dare you shut her out!" Matt yelled in rage.

"If you want her dead, then leave her with me!" Sanji yelled back at him. "I'm far more concerned for her safty than you!"

"...I always wanted to say this, but, your cooking taste like SHIT!!"

"You can insult me and Luna, but NEVER my cooking!" Sanji said. Flames appeared from behind the two as the fought over Luna's rights for the rest of the hour, everyone else got up and left. "If you say that one more time, I swear, I'll shove your gun up your-"

"Um, I'll take Luna's food to her." Usopp said, grabbing a plate Sanji left, and then walking away. Robin went back below deck to find her book, she heard the clicking noise again from the top of the stairs.

"Am I going mad?" she thought, she took her book and walked to the ladies cabin to read. She saw the closet door open by itself, she went closer to take a better look...Robin let out a scream.

"R-robin-chan!" Sanji said, he and Brook entered the room to see Robin under the covers of Luna's bed. "What is it?! Did anything happen?" He saw her broken arm was bleeding. "Who harmed you?"

Robin stared at the closet, so Brook opened it with cane. "Hm, sorry to disappoint you, but there's nothing there! Yo hohohoho, you must've seen the boggieman!"

The two men had their backs to the closet, she saw the pale arm stick out and she got up and ran off. She ran into the pale looking kid she saw in the closet, then backed away slowly. The kid turned around, it was actually a really tired Nami, she sighed in relief. "What's up?" Nami got a closer look at Robin. "Dear god, you look horrible! Let's find Chopper."

"Ms. Navigator." Robin said as they walked through the kitchen. "Whatever you do, don't go into our room."

(Deck)

"So, how come I heard screaming?" Luffy asked.

"Robin's been attacked, plus, something scared her to death, she won't talk anyone else besides Nami." Usopp said. "And I intend to find the sorce. Chehero, can I barrow Chekidore?"

"Sure, but he doesn't like you anymore." Chehero said, Usopp reached out to the akita, but he backed away. "See?"

"EVERYONE!" Chopper was screaming as he ran out, Robin fallowed suit. Brook was running out on deck. "THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH THE CLOSETS!"

"Yo hohohohoho! Sanji's getting homicidal!" Brooke said, waving his arms about. "He tried to kil me, now he's going after okami-sama!"

"And you just left her?!" Matt yelled, he tried to open the door, but it didn't budge. "If he's getting all wacked in the head, then we're in the cross over of Prom Night."

(Library)

Luna saw Sanji at the end of the hall, she turned and went back down the stairs, he fallowed her with a knife and the long chained handcuffs hiddin in his jacket. She watched him head down the stairs quietly from the cabinet she hid in. "Mom...I can see your doppleganger."

Crap, stupid doppleganger...he opened the cabinet door and he grabbed her. "I wanna be with you for ever!" psycopath, Luna managed to get away from him and started to climb up the stairs. Sanji raced after her, and jumped her. The stairway went dark and she found herself in water, Sanji held her hand and pulled her up. "Are you okay?"

"Are YOU okay?!" Luna asked, taking her hand back. Samara was in the well with them, Sanji disappeared. "I wanna guess, you're Sanji."

"I found you, mommy." Samara said.

"I can't be a mom, I'm 16."

"You're still my mommy."

Luna said nothing and started to climb up the well, Samara fallowed, along with the doppleganger. "Stop fallowing me!"

"Wait mommy!"

She managed to make it to the top, she saw the lid for the well and covered the well. "I'm not your fucking mommy!"

(Deck)

The moment Sanji disappeared, he came out from the kitchen. Matt jumped him. "Where the hell is Luna?!"

"She fine." Sanji lied, he gave a death glare at everyone and had his eyes covered with his blond hair. Even Zoro backed away from him. "Whatever you do, don't go to the library. Mommy's troubled."

"Mommy?" Robin asked. Matt opened the door and ran down below deck. "Wait!"

(Samara's Weird World)

"This is weird." Luna said as she walked around the medow, she saw the cliff. "Hm, this is where Anna makes her jump. Heya!" She jumped and found herself at the stairs of the library.

(Library)

Matt caught Luna in his arms as she fell through the ceiling. "Got ya!" He went on deck.

(Deck)

"Would ya stop staring at us like that?" Reese asked. "It's scaring me, man."

Sanji fixed his hair and looked normal. "Huh? You said something-?"

The door opened again, Matt appeared carrying Luna, who was wet from the water. Luna smiled when she saw daylight. "Thank god, it's OVER!"

"Hey mo-Luna-chan." Sanji said, Luna hugged him.

"You're back to normal!" Luna said, she lifted his left sleeve and saw that the burn mark was gone, she looked at her arm and saw that the burn mark was gone too. She sighed, then called Sirius, he acted like his normal self. "Oh, I missed you."

"I never meant to drown you or shut you out!" Sanji said, he started kissing her.

"Get a room." Zoro said, disgusted.

"Since Samara's gone, why are your dopplegangers still here?" Nami said. The dead versions of Sanji and Luna still stood there.

"They still can't escape their fate." Tsuki said. "I'd love to see this. Normally, after seeing your doppleganger, you'll die within 7 days or less."

"No matter what we do, it still can't effect the future." Sanji said. "What a shitty game we're playing."


	23. Day 7, Blind Wolf

Disclaimers, yeah let's make it clear: ME NO OWN One Piece!

Chapter 23: Day 7, Blind Wolf

(4:00 a.m)

Matt sat strait up from his hammock panting from a nightmare, but he smiled. "That's it!" he said, he woke up Reese and then Chehero, they went on deck. "I found out how to get home."

"Really?" Chehero yawned. "Tell me, I'm about to fall asleep.'

"Reese dies of alcohol poisining, Chehero chokes to death and me...I have no idea." Matt said. "All I know is that someone kills me."

"What about Luna?" Reese asked.

"I dunno, but it has to do with Sanji." Matt said.

"Your telling us this, but not Luna."

"That's the worst part, it turns out that the author of this story wants a drama scene."

"Isn't Luna the author?" Chehero asked. Silence.

"True, but there's no proof." Matt said, folding his arms. "You know Sailer Song by Toybox?"

_"Sailing, sailing, jumping off the railing  
Drinking, drinking 'till the ship is sinking  
Gambling, stealing, lots of sex-appealing  
Come, let us sing the sailor-song_" Cherhero guessed.

"Excactlly."

"You're saying that Dormin listens to Toybox?" Reese said.

"No, that's how we'll die. Luna listens to that song all the time." Matt said, the three went back to bed.

(Later)

"You seem to be happy." Nami said to Tsuki, who was muttering Sailor Song under his breath and smiling. Sanji and Luna were playing the handcuff game, Matt was drinking with Reese, everyone else was having a great time. Suddenly, the sky went dark.

"It's nothing." Tsuki laughed. He glanced at Chehero. "Don't go jumping off things!"

"Everyone, hit the deck!" Nami said.

"What?" Zoro asked. A large typhoon came in. "...cough...WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY ANYTHING?!"

"It snuck up from behind, besides, I didn't know it was coming!" Nami said. "Get the sails down!"

Everyone struggled to loosen the sails as more larger waves crashed against them. "We gotta get the ship out of the whirlpool!"

"What whirlpool?!" Usopp said, she looked ahead. "That's not a whirlpool...it's a freaken maelstrom!!"

"Sanji, steer the ship out out!" Chopper screamed.

"I can't!" Sanji yelled. "The waves are too strong!"

"The sails?!"

"I'm trying, but it looks like as though the wind was directing the Sunny into the center!" Franky said. Another wave crashed on them, Chopper was thrown overboard, but Chehero jumped and froze the water and made a bridge, allowing her to catch Chopper. "Good catch!"

"Chehero, get down!" Luna yelled, Sirius was racing around deck with his ropes all dangling around him, and it was NOT helping anyone at all, yet a bigger wave slamed the deck. It dragged Sirius and Chehero to the other side of the deck. Sirius managed to get up, and to Chehero's horror, her neck was tangled into the ropes. The horse started to gallop everywhere, dragging Chehero from behind. He jumped the railings and pulled her with him. "Sirius! Chehero!"

(the author hits the slow-mo button)

Luna reached out to Chehero's arm while Sanji held her back. She managed to grab her hand, but it slipped. She hopelessly watched as her horse and best friend disappeared into the center. "CHEHERO!!"

(the scene switches to normal speed)

"I'll get her!" Reese yelled, he was holding a bottle of Dr.Pepper.

"Oi! Gimmie that!" Matt said.

"No." Reese said, hugging the bottle, he dove in, then never came back.

"The ship's taken too much damage!" Franky yelled. "We gotta get her out!"

"NO, NOT UNTIL REESE GET CHEHERO!" Sanji yelled.

"What's so important about her?" Luffy asked.

"She has the key!" Sanji yelled, holding up his and Luna's hands.

"BAKA!" Zoro yelled back. "WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU?!"

"Well, we wanted to be alone and-" Sanji paused in the sentance.

"Well?"

"Nevermind."

The started waves iying down as the Sunny managed to escape the wirlpool and storm. Matt rubbed his hands together,"Well, we got out of that quickly."

"WE NEED THE FUCKING KEY!" the two yelled.

"Cool down, we'll find a locksmith on the next island." Nami said. "Usopp, can't you pick the lock?"

"No, they aren't the type i could pick."

"That death wasn't what I expected." Tsuki said, tossing a pen away. "Ah, at least I saw some action."

Eventually, Sanji statred to cook lunch for them. "Lunch is up!"

**WHIZ!** A red and blue blur of the captain rushed to the kitchen demanding food. Franky and Usopp were left out to repair the ship. Matt was spazzing out, his grandfather's hat was missing!

"Where's the hat?" Matt asked, waving his hands about. "Crap, he'll kill me."

"Um, guys, I can't see." Luna said, walking into the side of the door. Chopper checked her eyes.

"Did anything spill on your face?" Chopper asked.

"Yeah, it stung a lot...it was alchohal prep."

"How much?"

"A whole canteen." Sanji grabbed his shirt and started to bite it as he cried. "Sirius knocked it over."

"Is she permanetly blind?" Sanji wept.

"...I don't wanna say it, but hai." Chopper said as he checked Luna's eyes some more.

"Who's blind?" Nami asked, walking by.

"Luna-chwan!" Sanji said, crying some more. "Why her, it should've been me!"

"I heard there's a plant that can heal the blind." Robin said, after the storm, something seemed to have turned her to her normal, relaxed self. "A man by the name of Hana Gai owns them. He only gives it to those worthy of being cured."

"Then we shall find this man!" Sanji proclaimed. "Where is he?"

"...dead." Robin said. "His island that he lived on was succumbed by a tsunami, so he died with his flowers."

"If the island's under water, wouldn't the flowers still be alive?" Nami said. "Plants can evolve, you know."

"It wouldn't hurt to try and get there." Zoro said.

"ADVENTURE!" Luffy yelled. "Now, where's this cool place?"

"Underwater, duh, where else could it be?!" Usopp said. "It's impossible to get there!"

"That's true." Tsuki said. "Hm, oh well, we might as well wait til tomarrow, it'll be the seventh day-"

"And my birthday." Luna said. "If I die, I die, right?"

"You sound like Luffy." Zoro said. Luna got up and amazingly went to her seat without bumping anything.

"I'm cool with this." Luna said, coolly.

(Meanwhile)

Dormin looked over them from his "magic mirror". They smiled. As long as the wolf was paying the price for ditching her quest with her eyes, they're okay with it. Maybe they'll give the little kids back to them.

(Later)

"MOTHER FUCKER!" Luna yelled from her cabin, Nami looked up to see her rubbing her leg.

"I forgot to say, bought a coffee table-"

"NO SHIT!" Luna yelled at the wall.

"I'm right here." Nami said, sweatdropping, she turned around to face her.

"Oh. Anyway, is there anyway to get this thing off?" Luna asked, holding up the cuff. Sanji was trailing behind her out cold.

"It ain't mine." Nami said. "Where're your dopplegangers?"

"Huh?" Luna looked around. "They're gone...wait, they're GONE!!" She picked up Sanji and hugged him. "They're gone! WE live! Wake up!"

"What?" Sanji said, groggily. "Matt jumped overboard?"

"I wish, but no." Luna said, cheering. Chehero popped out of the cabinet coughing out sea water. "AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH! DEAD GIRL!"

"Loon?" Chehero asked. "I hate storms. All I remember was Fuego, Chekidore, and Sirius falling overboard with me and Reese, then suddenly, I land in a closet.""Gimmoie the key." Luna said, she gave Luna a small key and uncuffed Luna and Sanji. "Freedom's good, huh?"

(Anyway)

Chopper was checking his cabinets in the sick bay. Sea water was leaking out of one of them, he opened it to see Reese pop out. "Reese!" The little reindeer hugged him. "You're alive!"

"Of course I am," Reese said, drinking his Dr. Pepper.

(Somewhere)

"Let me get thhis strait." Matt said to Luna, Chehero, and Reese. "The moment our dopplegangers go bye-bye, you two squirts appear in closets. This alll happened after Luna got blind."

"Dude, you're blind?" Chehero asked.

"Alcohol prep."

"Ah."

"Chehero, Luna." Matt said. "I need to talk to Reese, all right?"

The girls left while Matt smiled,"I got an advantage."

"Really?"

"Yep, I need your help. This is what you need to do..."

(That Night at Dinner)

"Sanji, can I speak with you?" Reese asked, Sanji nodded and fallowed him. "Tomarow's Loon's birthday."

"Hai, I know."

"And she wants you to do this." Reese said, he whacked his head with a baseball bat. Sanji slumped over while Matt murmered,"Good swing."

"Now, for phase two-"

"I see land!" Usopp called out. "About 3 miles away!"

Matt, disguised as Sanji, came up to Luna and kissed her neck, she gasped. "Wanna celebrate your birthday there?"

"Sure." Luna smiled. "A date?"

"Uh-huh." she walked away with Nami's help. "Night,"

Matt ran to his closet and spat in Sanji's face,"AW! You just got owned! Loon's mine and YOU can't do anything about it! Whoo hoooooooo!!"

Sanji responded by muffling something, his mouth was taped SHUT. "Mamar!" ("Bastard!")

"What, you want me to make out with her?"

He shook his head no desprately. "Mo! Mo!" (No! No!")

"Do IT with her?"

He gave a pissed off look. "Mer Mor, mo!" ("Dear lord, no!")

"Don't worry, I'll treat her like she was my own bitch, wait, she IS a bitch! You know, she's a girl wolf?" Matt asked, Sanji glared at him while crickets can be heard. "Gah, she's my blind wolf."

Matt stuck his tongue out and slammed the door.

Sanji murmured,"Map." ("Crap")

* * *

Hana means "flower"  
Gai means "guy"  
Hana Gai means "Flower Guy"


	24. One Date Means One Pissed Off Man

Disclaimer: I DON'T own One Piece

Chapter 24: One Date and One Pissed Off Man

The two walked down the streets arm in arm, Luna would pause every once in a while at a shop to check their items. Matt smiled hapily. One day, just one goddamn day to be with her, that's all he ever wanted. One time to feel appreciated, geez, that too much to ask for?!

Luna ran her hand along a table to feel the valuables on it. "These are neat stuff."

"How can you tell?" Matt asked.

"You don't need eyes to see what's there, my mom told me that." the two walked up the street. "I don't really wanna blame Matt for my mom's death, really."

Matt's smile grew broader, she's gonna talk about him!! "Why that? I thought you don't trust him."

"My mom was blind." Luna said. Matt gave a shocked look.

_"Man, I stalked her since 7th grade and I didn't even know that!"_

"My dad and I pretended not ot notice though. She memorized everything in town, so she went around easily. It's pretty weird, but yeah. I guess I'm getting a taste of what she felt like." she gave a small laugh.

"You're feet are hurting?" Matt asked.

"Ye-" he took her in his arms and carried her. "I get the feeling that people are watching us."

"Not when you're here." Matt said smoothly as he took her to the beach. He placed her on the sand and he laid next to her.

"Sanji-kun."

"Yeah?" Matt asked, her lips were close to his, he closed his eyes. Suddenly, she shoved him away. "Huh?

"Tag!" Luna said, she sprang up and laughed as she ran off. "You're it!"

"You dirty little-" Matt said, getting up and chasing her across the beach. Robin watched from a distance with Nami.

"That's the fist time I've seen Matt-kun happy." Robin said.

"What? It's Sanji-kun." Nami said.

"If you pay attention, he's a bit...rougher." Robin said, they watched Luna trip and Matt grabbing her. "See? The real cook-san would've taken her to a resturant."

"Then if Matt's here, where's Sanji-kun?!" Nami asked. Reese, who was trailing behind, carrying a lot of bags, along with Chopper. Matt and Luna got up, then left for a resturant. "Looks like your wrong."

"I can be at times." Robin shrugged. Matt and Luna, instead, went to a candy store, there the shop keeper kept staring at Luna, who was bent over so she can smell the flavors.

"Young lady, what's your name?" he asked.

"Luna." she said, taking a bag full of taffies, mints, anything you'll find at the Candy Factory at a mall. "How much?"

"For 12 bags, 7,000 beli." said the shopkeeper. Matt paid him with SANJI'S money from SANJI'S wallet and he and Luna walked off eating their treats. The shopkeeper looked at her as she left, then opened a drawer. He pulled out a magazine of bounties. (Shonen Bounties, lol, just the name). "Ah, 'Luna the Hunter'...s-70,000,000 belis?!" He walked over to a dendenmushi. "Navy? Yeah, we got a high bounty here..."

(Anywho)

"Luffy, how much are you gonna eat?" Usopp asked, Luffy suddenly grabbed his steak. "Oi, that's mine!"

"Get her!" a captain from the navy started chasing after Luna and Matt, who didn't know about their pressence.

"Lufy!" Chopper said, he, Nami, and Robin were at the door. "We gotta get out of here, the Marines are here!"

"Hai." Luffy said, he took a mouthfull of food and scrambled out of the resturant with Usopp. They eventually made it to the Sunny Go, there, Franky, Zoro, and Brook were raising the sails. Reese was checking the coastline for Sanji and Luna.

"We gotta go back, Sanji, Chehero and Luna are there, so I'm not leaving without them!" Reese yelled as they raised the anchor. Cannons stared to fire at them, causin the Sunny to shake. "Nevermind, let's go."

(Anyhow)

Matt and Luna whized passed Chehero, "C'mon! The ship's leaving!"

"Allready?!" Chehero asked. "Sanji, why do you have Matt's hat?"

"Huh? I jacked it." Matt lied. Sudden;y, a bucket landed on Luna's head, she slumped over rubbing it. She was seeing stars, then shapes, the colors, then EVERYTHING!

"Hey, I'm cured!" Luna exclaimed. "I can SEE!"

"Aw, crap." Matt said when Luna saw him.

"Sanji-kun, take these guys out!" Luna said.

"WHAT, There's too many..."

"SO?! You always K.O. them."

"SURROUND HER!" bellowed the captain. Yep, they're screwed, or at least Luna. Several Marines pulled Matt and Chehero out of the circle. "Take these kids out of this mess, we came only for the pirate!"

"Sanji-kun!" Luna yelled, he grabbed her hand, but was pulled away. "Chehero!"

"Just hold them off, we'll get help!" Sanji, i mean Matt, said. In a second, the two were gone.

"WAIT!" Luna said. "You would never leave me...coward."

"Well, well." the guy who ran the candystore came into the circle. "It was easier to catch you."

"Candyman?! I paid you, why arrest me if I paid?!"

"Did you forget, kid, you're worth 70,000,000 beli."

"Then I'll have to raise it higher." Luna said, she started to do the fancy footwork Sanji does, then kicked away he troubles. "Collier Shot!"

(Anyday)

I forget what technique you use to cross water in Naruto, but just think that Matt and Chehero crossed water to get onto the Sunny Go. Nami saw them,"Where's Luna?"

"..."

"..."

"YOU LEFT HER?! SANJI-KUN, WHAT'S THE MATER WITH YOU?!" Nami yelled at Matt.

"Well...I'm not Sanji." Matt said, he went to his room, then came back with Sanji, who was wrapped in a plastic bag like a dead body. Sanji fell out and he coughed.

"...?..."

After a few hours, th eMarines gave up the chase. Sanji stood over Matt and was REALLY pissed off. "**DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH TROUBLE LUNA-CHAN IS IN?!"**

"Yes, but there were too many of them-"

**"NO MATTER HOW MUCH OF THE ENEMY IS THERE OR HOW BIG THEY ARE, PROTCT HER WITH YOUR DAMNED LIFE!"**

"I kept my eye on her the whole time!"

**"SHE'S GOT A BOUNTY ON HER HEAD, AND IT'S ALMOST AS BIG AS MINE!"**

"Then why'd they go after her and not me?!"

**"IT DOESN'T MATTER NOW! FRANKY, TURN THE SHIP AROUND!"**

"R-right." Franky said, turning the wheel again. Everyone, even the ladies, scrambled away from Sanji. Eventually, they made it back to the island, Sanji sprinted out into town to search for Luna. Everyone else stayed on deck due to the fact the Sanji didn't want any of the girls to be taken away. Matt, however, started to jump ship. "Hey, vampire-kid."

"What?"

"If you're going out to search for okami-kid, at least stay away from her boyfriend."

"Yeah, Luna was my responsibility, so I'm getting her back." Matt said.

"We'll go too." Reese said. "We don't have a bounty, so they don't know us."

"Fine. Matt said, he, Reese, and Chehero jumped ship and went off to the town. They found Luna being carried away by, not Marines, who were ALL dead, but men who were dressed in masks. I'm think of a spiritual cult. "Hey, unhand her!"

They turned to him, then scrambed off. Matt chased after them, they took the K.O. Luna into a wagon drawn by horses. A whip cracked as he sprinted after her, but the horses ran faster. Matt fallowed them with Chehero and Reese running behind him. They watched the wagon go through a stone arch, then disappear behind it. Matt walked slowly to it, he stared at the barrier that was in the arch.

"I don't think you should go there." Chehero said. "Let's find Sanji and the others and get them to look over this."

A few seconds later, the horse drawn wagon came racing out, the three dove away as the watched the wagon go into a stop. The men and Luna were gone, the only uncomforting sign was that there was blood running from the seats. Reese said,"I agree with Chehero."

Matt got on the wagon and turned the horses and the wagon, then faced the arch. "I'll go ahead and find Luna, alright?"

"Wait, we don't now where this thing goes!" Chehero said, Matt cracked the reins and the horses broke into a gallop. He went through the arch, then the wagon came back empty, they only thing there was Matt's hat. "That's it, we're going to find Sanji." Chehero said, taking the hat.

(Anyway)

"This is good and bad." Sanji said, they were on deck. "Matt's gone and we found where Luna-chan was taken is the good part, but the bad part is that you can never come back from where they went."


	25. Yume Kado

Disclaimer: you know the drill! Me no own One Piece, savvy?

Chapter 25: Yume Kado

"I see." Robin said, reading the symbols etched into the arch's sides. It was already dark when they arrived to the arch.

_"Those who venture past the sun,  
It's too soon to greet the moon.  
Four legged beasts guide through,  
flee in fear for when they're here.  
__  
Those left with the moon,  
are those with no return.__"_

"What's that suppose to mean?" Chopper asked.

"It means that we're NOT supposed to go through the arch!" Usopp said.

"Perhaps time?" Robin said.

"No." Brooke said. "I've been through something like this. It's an even that happens when you're dead, the Nai Sori or Dead Arch, is the last "door" you go through before you pass away. Thankfuly, I was able to pass it twice." Sanji grabbed the skeleton by the neck and yelled,"YOU MEAN TO SAY LUNA-CHAN'S DEAD?!"

"Hai! But I don't think this gate leads to heaven, it looks more like a portal or so!"

"Matt, I think." Luffy saked. "Why?"

"Then the two are still alive." Tsuki said, he flew through the arch and never came back.

"Get on." Sanji said, he was at the reins in the wagon. Everyone else stared at him while Chehero and Reese got on. "What are you waiting for?"

"You're going to risk your head for one girl?" Zoro snorted. "Pathetic. Like I'll help."

"I'm going." Luffy said, getting on. "If our musician is there, I'm going after them. They're nakama, incluing the shinigami. I's hoping for some action"

"I can't leave Luna there." Brooke said. "She's always a good fidler."

"Fine, count me in." Nami said. "If there's treasure, it's mine to take."

"Guess I'll have to come." Franky said.

"I can't beat them, might as well join them." Usopp sighed, he, Chopper, and Robin got on. "Oi, Zoro."

"Where's the options?" Zoro said, shrugging. "You-Know-Who's already excited."

"Thanks for all coming." Sanji said, he snapped the reins and the horses broke into a gallop.

"Now to save Luna!" Chehero yelled.

"No regrets! No regrets!" Usopp said as the wagon went faster. Chopper was clinging to Zoro's face.

"MEH MOFF MEH MOFFER!" ("Get off me Chopper!") Zoro muffled as he tried to remove the reideer from his face. The wagon went faster and faster as it went closer to the arch.

"LUNA...CHWAN!" Sanji yelled, the wagon finally went through the barrier. The horses came to a stop as they found themselves in a dark forest, it was bright, how odd. "Wasn't the otherside a bit darker?"

"Now i understand." Robin said. "Time is opposite in this place, it's day time, here." She and the rest of the crew got off the wagon. The wagon turned and the horses sped off back through the arch, never to return. They found Tsuki standing under a tree.

"Welcome, to the Yume Kado Forest!" Tsuki said.

"It looks pretty alive to be a dead forest." Nami said.

"It's looks are decieving to the still living." Tsuki smiled, he had his sythe out.Chehero was still holding Matt's hat. "I'll guide you through the forest, just becareful."

"This seems pretty." Chopper said, the forest was WAY to good to be true. "Everything's normal."

Suddenly, they came to the edge of town, there were gates and a large sign that said,"Yume Kado City." A large oak tree stood there, Luffy stared at it, realizing something was wrong as the went closer. Nami gave a wide eyed look, along with Robin and Chehero, then screamed.

"N-nami-san." Sanji said, he grabbed her and tried to calm her in a hug. "Shhhhh, it's okey."

"N-no, it's not. T-there's d-d-dead p-p-people in that t-tree, they h-hung themselves." Nami sobbed.

"I've got a math question for you." Sanji said, there were more trees with more dead people hanging in them. They made their way towards town. "I gave you 1 beli on one day, 2 on the second, and 4 on the third. If I keep doubling the money, how much would you have in a month? Stay with me, keep your eyes on me, we don't want you to run off."

"40 beli?"

"Higher."

"70 beli?"

"Nope."

"I don't know."

"You wanna know? 10,000,000 beli." Sanji smiled. (i was using American curency for that problem, yes, it's true)

They managed to make it to the town square with the still tramatized Nami, who eventually got over her shock. "That was pretty disturbing." Robin said.

"Yo hohohoho! I thought i was gonna die." Brooke panted. "Never saw them in heaven."

"So, why are we being stared at?" Zoro asked. "It doesn't feal right."

"Gomu Gomu no Fuusen!" Luffy yelled, several cannon balls and bullets were deflected from him before they can hit the crew. A cloaked kid jumped in front of them, he pattted all of them and they all turned invisible. "Cool I'm an invisible man!"

The kid slapped his hand over Luffy's mouth as they fallowed him away from the town square. They went under to the sewers, ew, and the kid removed his hood. Sanji stared at him, then said,"MATT?!"

"Now, before you kick my brains out, I'll have to _shoot YOUR_brains out." Matt said, holding out his gun to Sanji's head. "Gimmie my hat." Chehero handed him his hat. "Anywho, Luna's been kiddnaped."

"Um, isn't it the reason why we're all here?" everyone asked.

"Listen I've been here for a week-"

"It's been two hours." Nami said.

"No, time is faster here. Everyone, get some rest, I sleep in the day and go around at night, it's more safer that way." Matt said, he led them to an underground cave that was connected to the sewers. The cave led to a clearing in the forest. "It doesn't smell bad here, so we can all be fine."

"Who wants to go on guard duty?" Nami asked, Luffy was already sleeping next to Chehero.

"Me." Sanji said, he went out for a smoke while everyone else tried to find a comfortable place to sleep. Zoro sat against the wall, Usopp used Chopper as a pillow, Nami and Robin slept back to back, Brooke sat on a large rock, Franky, well, I have no idea how he sleeps, Reese was the only one who was still awake. Sanji stared at the sky...WTF?! Why is the moon out and not a sun?! He heard a distant wolf's howl, he was sure it was Luna's, so Sanji abandoned his guard duty to fallow the sorce. Reese turned to watch Sanji's form disappear in the light.

"...?..." Reese fell asleep.

(Eventually)

"Sanji! MEAT!" Luffy exclimed when he woke up, he glanced out of the cave to see it was night time, but the sun was out. "Sanji?!"

Matt jumped him and covered his mouth. "Quiet, we can't bring anymore attention to ourselves this way. Where's the cook?"

"That's what I was asking." Luffy murmured. Everyone else eventually woke up

"Anyone know where the ero-cook went?" Zoro said, standing up. "It's pretty obvious that we'll loose him more easily than Luffy."

"Guys, wear these." Matt said, handing them cloaks. "Keep the hoods on."

"Why, we wanna look like thieves?"Franky said, he placed his on.

"No, if we go out in the open without them, we'll be attacked by the Yume Kado Bushido, swordsmen who attack you. If you ever took note, this place is the island's...real, bad side. The bright pretty port we all know is totally different here."

"So this is the real island and the other is a fake?" Nami said. "Why would this place be hidden behind a gate?"

"That's the mystery-"

"Then this is a mystery land." Luffy said, they started to walk out of the cave. They saw the forest,Chopper's nose was twitching.

"I smell him, his scent is still fresh." Choppe said, they started to fallow him through the forest.

(Anywhere)

Sanji started to run through the forest, he came along a large field of...roses! and other pwetty flowers. "Maybe Luna would want one." He picked a red rose and placed it in his coat poket, then went off. He was suddenly fired at by connon balls and bullets. He whipped around, looking for the shooters, he saw nothing. "WHO THE HELL IS SHOOTING AT ME?!" Sanji roared, another wolf howl rang through the forest, the shooting stopped. Sanji started to run in the direction of the wolf. "Luna-chan...I can hear your cries."

(Somewhere, over the rainbow)

"This way!" Chopper said, they fallowed him as he sprinted away. "I heard gun shots and Sanji!"

Eventually, they came into a town. It was the place where they started. Zoro said,"Way to go, Chopper, you made us go in circles."

"I swear! I heard him." Chopper said.

"The forest make you go in circles if you don't know its tricks." Tsuki said. "We need a guide to go through, or at least a wolf's howl."

"And how would sound help you through a forest?" Reese asked.

"No idea, but I'll tell you this, something lead Sanji into the forest last night, day, whatever you say. And now, he's not lost, something's attracting him somewhere."

"Then if he's being helped, why can't we hear a howl?" Nami said.

"The Ancient Lullaby can be heard by people who really need to find the person they hold dear that's been taken into this world." Tsuki said. "Kind of like the story of Izanami and Izanagi."

"Never heard of them." Chehero said.

"WHAT?! You people of the the human world are strange, I thought the story made it here." Tsuki said, shocked.

"Might as well rest here." Zoro said, he nd Luffy fell asleep out of pure boredom. Everyone else stood.

"Matt-kun." Usopp said.

"Yep?"

"Why do we have to go around at night?"

"It's safer, you're less likely to be spotted and killed."

(Anywho)

"Luna-chan, where the hell were you taken too?" Sanji asked, running in the direction of where he heard the howl. A silver glint caught his eye. He picked it up to see it was Luna's necklace, then smiled. "Smart wolf, she knows I'm here."

(Anyway)

"Let me go, you jerks!" Luna said.

"Then stop howling like a wolf!." the men carried her to a large castle at the side of a cliff (similar to Camelot) "Pretty castle."

"Welcome, to Kagami Shiro." the man, who was leading them. "That is where you'll be living with the prince."

"Prince?!" Luna asked.

"Yes, Prince Yume."

"Prince, royal blood, all that other crap?"

"Yes."

"Take me to him!" Luna commanded.

"As you wish, your highness."

"Sweet."

* * *

Yume means "Deam"  
Kado means "Gate"  
Shiro means "Castle"  
Kagami means "Mirror"


	26. You Little Brat!

Disclaimers: yeah, if I owned One Piece, Sanji would be the only character

Chapter 26: You Little Brat!

"Sire." the man knealed in front of a throne, Luna couldn't see the prince since the shadows covered him. "I had brought your princess."

"Truely?" the prince asked, several peacocks were at the throne's sides. his place seems more bueatiful than the land, it was more like a dream. He got up from his seat, Luna nearly fainted from shock when he walked to her. He looked JUST LIKE Sanji, only with long hair, both eyes showing, and he was dressed up like Prince Caspian from Narnia, only lacking the armor and the chained mail. He even had Prince Caspian's accent from the movie. "Hello, fair madain, my name is Yume Nushi. What's yours?"

"Luna Moonstone." Luna said, getting over the shock. "What's up with the dead bodies in trees? Besides, your smooth talk can't win me over."

"I'll make you queen."

"No."

""I'll give you jewels."

"No, Nami has a bunch of those."

"Money?"

"No, i'm a pirate."

"Purfume?"

"No, my nose is too sensitive."

"Clothes?"

"Ew, no."

"Food?"

"No."

(Anyday)

Sanji finally made it to Yume Shiro, he saw the guards and other personal were gone. He sneaked into the castle, he watched Nushi trying to persway Luna.

"...?...guard."

"Yes?"

"Why is her coat ripped a little?"

"..."

"You idiot! Was anyone fallowing Luna as you went through the gates?"

"Yes, but there was only three kids."

"Luna-"

"It's Moonstone to you." Luna snapped, Sanji gave a smirk, she _was _cute when she's mad.

"Ms. Moonstone, do you have any lovers or boyfriends or so?" Nushi asked, weakly, afraid that someone would kill him at the spot.

"Hell yeah, but I'm not telling you which."

"Which?! You mean there's more people?"

"Yep, a whole pirate crew. Mugiwara Kaizoku."

"Never heard of them. They don't sound strong, captain." a peacock from the throne came to him. "Order this pirate crew to be exterminated. Regardless on what they say, kill them-"

"Don't." Luna said. "If you let them live, you'll win me a thousand times over."

"A...a thousand times over?"

"Yep, and I'll let you do anything you want with me."

"A-anything? Even-?"

"If it saves everyone, yes." she sighed, shrugging.

"With pleasure!" Nushi said, acting very Sanji-like at the moment. "Change of plans, captain. Capture all of them, fight them if needed, but don't kill them for the sake of Luna-sama's happiness. But if there's any ladies, bring them unharmed."

"Hai." the peacock flew away.

"Wait, those things don't fly." Luna said.

"Um, they're a speacial breed."

"Oh."

"Now, for buisness in my room." he led her out of the room and Sanji fallowed in the shadows.

(Anywhere)

"Look, a peacock." Nami said bluntly. The peacock waddled down the street with a sword tucked under his wing "What's it doing here?"

"Get 'em."

"Did it just say something?" Reese asked. They were surrounded by numerous swordsmen, all had their swords out. "Oh."

"Surrender now."

"Zoro, Luffy, wake up!" Chopper yelled, no use.

"...Fluer." Robin said, hands across her chest, the swordsmen lept away from the attack. "I give up."

"So fast?" Matt yelled, everyone was thrown into a caged wagon. Matt was able to dodge all of their attacks. "Don't touch me, I bruise easily."

The peacock flashed out his sword and Matt was thrown into the cage. "Let's get out, I think we got all of 'em."

"Right, sir." the coatchman whipped the horses and they sped off through the forest. "Those who decide to make noise in the wagon are to be left out here to die, got that?"

"Yeah." the rest of the crew said.

(Anywhere)

Luna twitched her nose, Sanji was nearby, but she kept quiet. Nushi opened the doors, Luna nearly smiled, it was WAY to good to be true. Sanji burst into the room,"If you think you'll be her first, you're wrong!" Sanji roared. Nushi turned around and frowned. Electricity ran between them threw their eyes. Luna stepped in between.

"Guys, stop." Luna said.

(Anyways)

Matt stared at the castle as they were dragged inside, then Chehero and Reese stared at their surroundings. Then, simotaniously, all four teens slapped their foreheads in realization. "Why did we see this before?" all four asked.

"What?" Luffy asked, waking up, Luna started to smell the rest of the crew, who were in the throne room, she grabbed the two men's hands and ran with them to where the crew was.

"REBECCA!" Luna yelled, irritated. A 10 year old girl with glasses appeared from behind Nushi. Her purple hair flowed like Luna's, Robin gave a shocked look since she resembled Lil. "Rebecca, why the hell are you screwing with us right now?"

"It was your birthday." Becky said. (we call her that for short) "And I wanted to surprise you."

"Ah, Luna-chwan, you have a sister?" Sanji asked.

"Why do I have a feeling that this was like the Fannette Island fiasco?" Usopp asked, Becky sighed and snapped her fingers. Everyone else found themselves on the Sunny Go. They all were on the ground, eventually, they got up. Luna was scowling Becky for her actions.

"So...you were trying to get me into one of your crappy romance things?" Luna asked.

"What can I say, I'm a romantic." Becky replied, fixing her glasses. "I love drama really, specially ones with smut in them-"

"You little BRAT!" Luna said, chasing Becky on deck. The crew sighed, might as well make this another part of their daily lives.

"A 10 year old...a romantic." Franky said, bursting into tears. "How beautiful!" he sobbed. "And I'm not crying!"

Amazingly, the crew aren't really tired at all. It was the daytime anyway, Nami stared at the island, it was disappearing into sakura blossoms. "...?..."

"Just to let all know." Becky said, whizing past everyone. "I think I ate a thing called the Yume Yume no Mi or something." eventually, Luna stopped chasing her sister around.

"You little brat." Luna said. "What's it do?"

* * *

Nushi means "lover"


	27. Lttle Sister, Step Sister, Real Sister!

Disclaimer: I don't own One Piece

Chapter 27: Lttle Sister, Step Sister, Real Sister

"Yume Yume no Mi or Dream Deam Fruit." Chopper said, he was reading a book. "It allows the user to enter one's head and create dreams or nightmares. Also, the user can make his/her or their enemies dreams come to life."

"Dreams? As in goals?" Brooke asked.

"No, I meant the dreams we all have from sleep. There could be more, but that's all there is to it."

"You said nightmares, right?" Sanji said, staring at the sleeping swordsman. "Hm, Becky."

"Yep, yep?" Luna's sister asked.

"Can you alter a person's dream into a nightmare?" Sanji asked.

"Speak English."

"Give marimo a nightmare."

"I need to be alone for this to happen." they left her in the crow's nest.

(2 Seconds Later)

"..."

"..."

"..."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!" (the list goes on for ever). Becky was seen scrambling out of the crow's nest, Zoro was in hot persuit. "YOU LITTLE BRAT!"

Luna stared at Zoro, then started to burst into laughter, along with everyone else. Poor guy, he was dressed in a pink bunny suit, so he was hoping towards Becky. Nani choked out,"It's not Easter yet!"

"Now, do the bunny hop!" Matt sid, he and Reese were doing to bunny hop.

"I SWEAR, I'LL STUFF YOU IN THIS THING!" Zoro roared. The bunny suit disappeared and Becky gave a squeak, she ran over to Luna. And stuck her tongue out at the swordsman.

"I'll give you permission to kill her when I feel like it." Luna said. "Better yet, throw her overboard."

"Hey." Becky said. "I can all send you guys back to that dream land-"

"NO!" everyone said in unison.

"...you people aren't fun." Becky said, she suddenly became from a happy girl to a sad person. "I'll be in your room, Luna."

"Whoa, what's up with her." Luffy said as he watched Becky walk across the deck.

"She'll only act happy when she meets people the first time, but later she'll start showing her true side after a while. She been like that since our mom died. I've done everything, but she's not like she was when she was 5."

"Did you try to act like her mother-?" Usopp asked. Luna turned to him, she had that dead look.

"I've tried that, things go wrong way to easily, so what's the point of trying to act like mom?"

"I wish I never asked."

"You know, we never threw a party for Luna." Luffy said. Sanji realized it too and rushed into the kitchen.

"Shit, after what happened earlier, I forgot to start everything!"

"I never mentioned this, but it's my birthday too." Chehero said, everyone paused and stared at her. "No joke, me and Luna were born on the same day."

"Then I'll run a blood test." Chopper said, he took a needle and took samples of the two girls' blood.

(Two Hours Later)

They threw the party in the kitchen, Sanji and Luna were ballroom dancing, everyone else was cheering them on. Chopper came out of the sick bay. "It's confirmed."

"What?" Zoro asked, drinking grog.

"Luna Moonstone and Becky Moonstone are related to Chehero Uchira and Reese Uchira."

There was a long pause, Brooke and Matt stopped playing the violins, Luffy had his mouth on a piece of meat he and Usopp were fighting over, Zoro was choking on grog, Luna dropped Sanji, Nami also was choking on alcohol, Reese was spitting out Dr.Pepper, Robin smiled, Franky tilted his head to the side. "...?..."

"I said the four of them are related." Chopper repeated. "What else do you want me to say?! Luna and Chehero are mermaids?"

"Are they?" Sanji and Matt asked.

"No."

"Awwwww."

"Yo hohohoho. Even though I have no ears, I can still hear, can you say it again?" Brooke asked, mouth gaping.

"Ew, so when I asked Luna to date me." Reese asked disgusted. "I was asking my own sister to..."

"Pretty much."

"Who's older, me or Chehero?" Luna asked.

"I can't answer that."

(Later)

Sanji was fixing the table after everyone left for bed, he started hearing yells from the ladies cabin.

"Stop treating me like that!" Becky yelled.

"Then stop acting like a little bitch!" Luna argued back.

"I'm not acting like a bitch!"

"Listen, ever since mom died, you've been acting as though it's the end of the world!"

"Maybe it is!"

"Oh my god, grow up already!"

"Maybe the reason why you don't cry is because you don't care about mommy!"

"...I did cry, but I got over it!"

"That's because you're a grown up so getting over things are easy."

There wa a long pause, the door to the kitchen opened and Luna came in with Becky, who was crying but stopped a moment before. "Luna-chan."

"Sanji-kun, give her some coconut juice." Luna said, he nodded and started fixing up three glasses. "It wasn't easy for me to lose mom. She died in front of my eyes."

"Yeah, but she left on my birthday, that's worser."

"Would you like it better when you were there?"

"No." Sanji handed them the drinks.

"Here, Luna-chan, Becky-chan."

"Thanks, pops." Becky said, taking a sip.

"Why don't you go back to bed, alright?" Luna said, smiling. Becky smiled too, then left. The moment the door closed, she sank into her chair as she leaned over the counter and rested her head on her arms. Sanji sat next to her. "She's not the type of kid who depends on others."

"Kind of like you?"

"Nah, I'd trust anyone." Luna said. "..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"...wanna make out?"

"Sure."

Lol, that's the best thing to ask someone in their face. Luna, Sanji, dim light, drinks, yeah. A few minutes later, Sanji and Luna were on the couch together, with their clothes still on! (you pervs) Luna's nose twitched,"Are you wearing cologne?"

"No, too bad, huh?" he smirked, Luna gently pushed him off her and then kicked the air. Matt appeared and flew into the wall. "Matt..."

"Rebecca." Luna said, Matt snapped his fingers and Becky appeared, she was sitting on the table with a pencil and pen. "Before I loose my head..."

"Hey, I-"

"GET THE HELL OUT!" Luna yelled at the two. "MATT, YOU JERK, BECKY'S NOT SUPOSSED TO SEE SUCH THINGS!"

"Darn, I needed some smut for my romance novels." Becky said.

"Yeah, while she's doing that, I thought I'd see Luna without her shirt-"

"GO TO YOUR ROOMS!" Sanji and Luna yelled in unison, Becky and Matt shrieked and ran out. "AND KNOCK BEFORE GOING IN!!"

Matt came back in. "How'd you know I was here?"

"You used cologne that slightly stronger than Sanji-kun's. Now GO AWAY!"

(Anytime)

"I got pictures." Matt smiled to Reese, he had his camera with him. He and Reese snikered as they stared at the photos of Luna. "You think I should take photography at school?"

"Sure."

"Aren't you at least disturbed? Luna is your sister."

"No, Chehero and I are legaly related by law, not blood."

"Hey, hey, hey." Brooke said, Reese and Matt nearly screamed when they saw him in the dark. "Are those pictures of okami-kid?"

"Yep."

"And-"

"All those moments everywhere." Matt said.

"Lemme see 'em..." Brooke saud, the three stumbled upon a certain picture and recieved nosebleeds.

* * *

Yume means "dream"

I feel like this chapter was pointless, lol, me and a friend of mine were taking turns on what to write, so we typed up sentences one by one, adding our weird ideas. Never underestimate the power of Summer Vacation: it makes you bored.


	28. The Best Always Get Stolen

Disclaimer: I DON'T own One Piece

Chapter 28: The Best Always Get Stolen

(The Same Night)

"All the kiddies are alseep, yosh?" Usopp asked, Nami checked on Luffy, Reese, Chehero, Chopper, and Becky. Becky was cuddled up next to Luffy since she saw him as a brother, all five were fast asleep.

"Hai."

"Yosh, let's start this shit." Zoro said. Brooke swung open the door, interupting Luna and Sanji, who flew out of the couch.

"KNOCK BEFORE ENTERING! IS THAT SO FUCKING HARD TO DO?!" Sanji roared, still holding Luna.

"Gomen, but my hand slipped."

"FUCKING MARIMO!"

"YOU WANNA START SOMETHING?!"

"Men, men, stop." Matt said, tossing everyone a bottle of liquor, vodka, grog, you name it. They all sat in a circle around the table. Matt took out glasses only for the ladies. "As to celebrate Luna's 17th birthday, she is now an adult-"

"Aren't you supossed to be 18?" Franky asked.

"Shut up, you're gonna kill the moment." Matt mumbled, he took off his hand and bowed to Luna. "In honor of your..." He stared not at her face, but lower, past her neck. "Your..." He started to drool. "...sexy rack, I mean..."

"Stop staring at them!" Luna yelled, kicking him. "I'm not that stupid!"

"But your rack is hot." Matt said, getting up. "Ahem anywho...happy birthday! Bottles up, everyone!"

"Yosh!" everyone took a great big swig from their drinks.

(1 Whole Hour Later After Deminishing Sanji's Supply of Alcohol)

Usopp was passed out on the floor. The rest were playing poker. Air was filled with the smell of cigerettes Sanji and Matt were smoking. Luna was suddenly pulled out of her chair, everyone else laughed since she was drunk. She got up as she laughed, but then was pulled onto the floor by Sanji. The crew laughed some more.

"That's mean!" Luna giggled. (yes, giggled, like I will ever do that!)

"Who said I was supossed to be a gentlemen for you?" Sanji growled.

"Urgh, get a room." Robin said.

She managed to push him away and the two got up. "Where were we?"

(Anywhere)

Eventually, the crew was passed out, except for Luna. She REALLY need to go piss. The candles were doused, so she made her way across the kitchen, Sanji grabbed her leg. "Where're you going?"

"Bathroom." Luna whispered. He nodded and let her go, she opened the door and left for the restroom. She went out a few minutes later after throwing up, she made her way around deck. A thin guy that was richly dressed with a lion's muzzle for a mouth appeared in front of her. Due to his height and blond hair, Luna mistakened him. "Sanji-kun, I thought I said I was going to the bathroom."

"Marry me."

"..?.."

"For your birthday."

"What the hell, okey." Luna said, the next thing she knew, everything went black.

(Anyplace)

"SANJI! MEAT!" Luffy yelled, rushing into the kitchen. He saw his nakama sleeping. "...?...what?"

"Luffy, stop the noise!" Chehero said, she entered to find the same thing. Nami and Robin were sleeping on the couch, Zoro was snozing on the table, Matt was drooling over the floor next to Sanji, Franky slept on a stool, Brooke looked...like bones. "I think we should wait."

"Check this out." Reese said, they saw Matt wake up first. He was about to kiss Sanji.

"Morning, Loon. How about a morning kiss?"

"...?..." Sanji started stiring. "...?!..." He tried to escape Matt's clutches. "Urgh! Matt!"

"...huh? SANJI?! Are you gay or something, why are you trying to kiss me!"

"Are YOU gay?!" Sanji yelled. "You wanna kick?! I give you one up your ass!"

"Bring it!" Matt yelled back, they sat up and started wrestling each other. "ARGH!"

"ARGH!" Nami and Robin woke up, along with Franky and Brooke. Chopper and Becky came rushing in yelling, the noise wasn't helping the four adults at all.

"SHUT UP!" the four yelled, everyone stared at them.

"Becky, you start." Robin said, stretching, then getting up.

"Chopper and I woke up just now. Normally, I'd whack Luna in the head with a pillow full of bricks to wake her up..."

"That's not a good wake up call." Usopp said.

"But she was gone!"

"Well duh." Reese said. "Everyone else was having a party and was drinking! Why didn't you let us?"

"Because Reese is 13, Chehero is 16 like Luna so we counted her out anyway, Luffy can't handle alcohol, Becky's 10, and Chopper said he didn't wanna join." Brooke said.

"This is the age of pirates, at least let us have a cup!" Reese said.

"It wasn't my choise!'

"Did you check the bathroom?" Sanji asked.

"Yep."

"Spa."

"Uh-huh."

"Rooms?"

"Yeah."

"Kitchen?"

"We're in it."

"Crow's nest?"

"Yes."

"Sick bay?"

"We passed it to get in here."

"Library?"

"We checked everywhere."

"Hai, I can't even smell her scent!" Chopper exclaimed.

"I know she was drunk, but she's not that stupid to fall overboard." Sanji murmured, he paused. "What if she did?! Luna-chwan!" He jumped overboard.

"Baka, if you can't find her, it means she was kidnapped." Zoro said, waking up for once.

"Give us one good explanation on exactly how Luna was taken." Matt said.

"There's a piece of paper on the ground." Zoro pointed outside. Matt raced to pick it up, then handed it to Nami. Sanji managed to get onboard.

"You use it."

"It's a sea chart."

"Duh, use it." Matt said.

"Where's Tsuki?" Luffy asked. Sanji rushed out on deck, then into the kitchen. He looked everywhere. "What?"

Sanji came out on deck. "The deathnote...it's..."

"Gone?!" Reese said. "Yeah right."

"No, really!" Sanji said.

"I wonder who jacked it." Usopp said.

"I'll tell you one thing, once a person's name is written in it, they die." Chehero said. "We gotta get the two useless objects back!"

"Hey, land!" Chopper said, pointing ahead with a hoof. They decided to land there, they looked around.

"Strange, the only building here is a cathedral." Robin said, looking at a, well, cathedral, it had bells, stained glass windows, and a cross. In the front of the creepy looking building was a large grave yard that covered the rest of the island. Reese, Chopper, Franky, Usopp, and Nami had flashlights. "It's not like there were people living here."

"Soooooooo." Chehero said. "Who wants to go down the creepy yard first?"

"Yosh, let's go explore." Luffy said, jumping over the gates, he suddenly disappeared in the dark. Zoro sighed.

"Might as well go after him." Zoro said, jumping over.

"We'll stay." Nami said.

"Suit yourself." Zoro shrugged, Brooke, Franky, Reese, Matt, Sanji, Chehero, and Reese jumped over the fence, leaving Chopper, Nami, and Usopp on the other side.

"If anything goes wrong, ring the horn on the Sunny Go." Franky said.

"Sure." Nami said, a few seconds later, they heard an owl's hoot. They all scrambled to get on the ship out of fear. Meanwhile, Zoro paused.

"Did you hear something?"

"It's church bells." Robin said. "There must be something going on there."

"A ceremony, perhaps." Matt said, Becky took out a romance novel and started to read.

_"And as I run faster, the bells of the holy building start ringing. A woman to be mine was dressed like a unicorn, eternal bueaty was all that was there. Burning passion from my heart, I knew she was mine til death. Eye to eye, lip to lip, we share a kiss under the bells."_

"What are you reading?" Sanji asked, looking over the book, Franky was crying because of the beauty from those words. "Are you even allowed to read this stuff?"

"Not in front of my dad or Luna," Becky said, taking her book back. "Under the Bells is a really good romance novel!"

They reached the entrance of the cathedral,Sanji and Matt peeked inside first. And to their horror, the saw Absalom standing in front of Luna with Tsuki acting as the preacher. Tsuki had the deathnote in his hands.

"Listen, I have no idea who the hell you are, but I'm not letting you marry Luna until there are guests."

"But I didn't invite guests!" Absalom snapped. "You're the only one that a god! At least you'll be able to make the lisence legal!"

"Get this strait, I am a shinigami, god of death, get it? I do NOT support love at all!"

"Then...tell me this, are you sure this is the right girl?" Absalom held up a poster of Luna.

"Yes, now give me an apple."

"Marry us and I'll give you a whole freakin tree full of them!"

"Okey!" Tsuki said, he cleared his throat. "We be gathered here today..."

"So...what do we do?" Luffy asked. "Luna's there."

"We know that." Zoro said. "How about we bust in there?"

"That's inappropriate!" Becky said. "You have to enter with style."

"And how would you do it?" Sanji asked.

"Horses of course." Becky said. "I mean, that's how dreams work, right?"

The church bells rang again.

"Absalom, do take Luna Moonstone as your wife?"

"Hai, I do."

"That's it! I can't contain my emotions!" Matt and Sanji yelled, the bust open the door. "STOP THE DAMN WEDDING!"

"You again...grrrrr."

"Wait! Wait!" Becky yelled, she stepped in between the three men. "I know how you can settle this like _real_ men."

"And what do you propose, kid?" Absalom asked.

"I suggest..."


	29. A Fight for Bride : Welcome to Venice

Disclaimer: I DON'T own One Piece

Chapter 29: A Fight for Bride : Welcome to Venice

"You settle this...with Rock-Paper-Scissors!" Becky said, the three looked at each other and shrugged.

"Doesn't sound bad." Absalom said.

"Give it a shot." Matt said.

"Who ever wins ges to keep Luna all to himself." Sanji said, the thee raised their fists and started.

Sanji got rock.

Absalom got rock.

Matt got rock.

"Shit, again!" Matt said.

Sanji got paper.

Absalom got paper.

Matt got paper.

"Another go." Sanji said.

Sanji got scissors.

Absalom got scissors.

Matt got scissors.

"One more time." Absalom said.

All three got rock.

"Again?"

All three got rock.

"C'mon."

All three got scissors.

"WTF?!"

All three got paper.

"This will take a while." Tsuki said, everyone else sat down on the benches.Luna was snoozing on an alter with a teddy bear. Nami, Chopper, and Usopp came inside after while. "Hey guys."

"What's taking you forever?" Nami asked.

"It's been five hours." Usopp said. "What are they doing?"

"Thanks to okami-kid's little sis', those three morons are in an epic battle with rock-paper-scissors." Franky said. "This isn't going anywhere."

"We can tell." the three said.

The three grooms-to-be were still fighting.

"Grrrrr, that's it!" Absalom growled like a lion. "We'll fight for her!"

"Agreed." Sanji said.

"I'll kick your guys' ass." Matt said. "Luna's mine!"

"No, mine!" Sanji said, the three men started running down the aisle and towards the alter. Matt and Absalom turned invisible and then appeared next to Luna.

"Got her!" the two yelled, they faced each other. "You ate the suke suke no mi too?! Of course I did!"

"If you two are fighting, I might as well grab Luna-chan." Sanji said, he swiftly picked up Luna and ran across the room. "Time to go!" He found out that the rest of the crew was asleep. "...?!..."

"Too bad, I gave everyone a sleeping pill when you weren't looking." Abalom laughed, but he paused. "Except the brat though, I can't find her...until next time." He picked up Luna and the deathnote and started to turn invisible. "This bitch is mine." He and Tsuki were gone.

"Matt!" Sanji said darkly. "How can you be careless, you could've got her!"

"Sorry, but he hand me in a headlock!" Matt said. They argued while the doors opened up. "There he is!" Matt quickly took out his gun and shot randomly. Absalom appeared next to Sanji and pulled his pants down. "Ah hahahahaha!"

"Why me?" Sanji asked, pulling his pants up. He pulled Matt's pants down. "Happy?!"

"Hey, that was a cheapshot!" Matt said, his boxers had smile faces...lol, joe boxers. Absalom pulled off their pants and lit them on fire. "THOSE ARE MY BEST PAIR!"

All hell started to break loose, Absalom and Matt exchanged shots while Sanji tried to kick Absalom, who would turn invisible and appear somewhere else. Unknowingly, Absalom was able to shoot Sanji and Matt's shirts off after firing at them for several minutes. There was a small laugh.

"I can't believe you two kids have the lamest boxers in the world!" Becky was sitting on the alter. The guns stopped and Absalom appeared in front of her. "Hey, big cat, if you think you can marry my sister without my permission, you're screwed."

"Ah, so I have to gain an approval from you?"

"Yep."

"Then can I take your sister's hand in marrige?"

"..." Becky hopped off thte alter and walked passed Absalom, who now had a blank face. "This is what happens when you force a madain into a marrige...hell. DROP DEAD!"

Absalom, well, dropped dead.

"..."

"..."

"...what?" Becky asked.

"You killed him." Matt said.

"So?" Becky said, tossing him the deathnote, Sanji opened it and saw Absalom's name written across the page. Becky walked off humming the theme for the Ring. Tsuki appeared over Absalom's lifeless body, his black, feathery wings flapped.

"I dunno about you, but that girl scares me." Tsuki said, he started banging his sythe on Absalom's back. "WHERE'RE MY APPLES?! WHERE THE HELL DID YOU KEEP THEM?!"

Nami woke up, along with the rest of the crew. She stared wide eyed at the two guys when she saw them fighting. "Sanji-kun, Matt, what happened to your clothes?!"

"Long story." Matt said.

"I know you two are desperate for Luna, but I never knew you were _THAT _despeate!" Usopp said. "Come to think of it, where is she?"

"You wanna bet one of those two fucked her while we were asleep?" Zoro asked, getting up. "Maybe both of them did..."

"Bet you Sanji did." Reese said.

"No, Matt is slightly faster than Sanji when it comes to...situations like that." Robin said, she lifted Chopper's head off her lap to wake him.

"True." Brooke agreed. "Now lemme see your panties."

"Do what?" Luffy asked.

"Let's just go." Franky said, Luna suddenly fell from the rafters and landed in Sanji's arms as the crew started to walk out. "Guess you guys are wrong, her clothes are still on."

They stated to make their way across the creepy graveyard. They heard a little girl's humming. Reese said,"You know what happens...in movies, little girls pretend to be harmless, but when you drop your guard, they attack you. Don't fallow the voice!"

"Urgh, you watch too much Japanese horror." Chehero said.

"Not my fualt dad brings them from Japan."

"WHOA!" an arm grabbed Reese's and the poor freshman jumped into Nami's arms. Luffy turned his flashlight to the hand and everyone found out it was just Becky. She giggled uncontrolably as Reese got to his feet. "Look at his hair! It's strait!"

"Becky, I need you to do something." Brooke said, getting to his knees to reach eyelevel. "Don't do that! I nearly had a heartattack!"

"Okay, mister skeleton." Becky smiled, they started to make their way to the ship as Luna woke up.

"Sanji-kun."

"Hai?"

"Are you wearing clothes?"

"...no."

"..." Luna walked away from him and fell asleep under the apple tree with the stuff bear.

(2 Days Later)

"Here we go, land ho!" Chehero yelled. Sanji grabbed Luna.

"It seems that I owe you a date." Sanji said. "You know, after the whole mix up."

"Sure." Luna said. Matt fummed as he watched the two walk off into town. Becky appeared next to him.

"Ya know, I don't like it when that guy dates my sister." Becky said. "I like it better when you're with her."

"Really?"

"Uh-huh, and I gotta plan to help ya."

(At A Random Resturant)

"How about here?"

"Okey." they went into a resturant, Matt and Becky fallowed, but entered tgrough the back door.

"Wear this." Becky said, tossing Matt a uniform. "I'll tell you what to do."

Luna and Sanji took their seats, the place was...pink?! Yes, there was a bit of pink thing here and there, along with hearts. Sanji said,"I forgot, it's Valentines Day..."

"It's fine." Luna said, a waiter came to their table. His uniform looked a bit messed up, but his hair was tied in a ponytail.

"My name is Matt-"Matt said in a fake British accent, Becky, who was behind him and was invisible thanks to Matt's powers, kicked him. "Thew...Matthew. What would you like to drink?"

"Your finest wine." Sanji said, getting suspicious, Matt nodded and walked off. "Did you hear the accent?"

"Yeah, Matt does a way better impression than that guy." Luna said, a band started to play a song called 'Something' by the Beatles, but the singer sang it the same way Jim Sturgess from Across the Universe.

"_Something in the way she moves_..." Sanji sang under his breath.

"You know this song?" Luna asked.

"Of course I do, how else would I know the words?" Sanji said, he offered his hand. "Would you want to dance?"

"Alright." she took his hand and the two walked out onto the dance floor. Several people clapped while two or three more couples stepped out. Matt arrived at their table with the wine, he saw the two out there and accidentaly spilled the wine as he walked out. The manager was yelling at him, but Matt ignored him while untying his ponytail and placing his hat on. Becky fallowed. "Did you see that waiter?"

"I know, it's Matt." Sanji said, the door slammed close. "Screw him."

Matt walked around the street with Becky trailing behind him. "What?"

"You know, I am a dream caster." Becky said, she took out a paint brush. "So say hello to Venice, Italy in the Grand Line..._Romantic Dream Change_!"

The streets turned into a water way, making it look like Water 7 with the Venice-kind-of feel. Nami, who was at the other side of the town, stared at the sudden change. "...?..."

"Wlcome to Venice, the most romantic city in the Grand Line...Pick your girl." Becky said. "Chehero, Nami, Robin, Luna...yeah."

"You're pretty random for a ten year old." Matt said, fixing his hat.

* * *

I feel random today...


	30. A Day of Peace and Lovefor a minute

Disclaimer: I don't own One Piece

Since I'm in a good mood, I'll add new pairs...cuz summer makes you bored

Chapter 30: A Day of Peace and Love...for a minute (starts acting like a hippe)

Chehero was walking along the beach, odd, there's a sunset...and a hot dude ahead, wait, it's just Luffy...nevermind... "Oi! Chehero, what's that you have in your hand?"

"Huh?" Chehero saw that she was holding a choker with shells and turquise beads. You know, those shell necklaces you get in Hurricane Harbor for 5 bucks? "Oh, it's just a necklace. If it breaks off while you're wearing it, your wish comes true. What are ya doing here?"

"No idea." Luffy said, the two sat next to each other on the sand and faced the ocean. "I was just looking for you because I needed to ask you something."

"What?" Chehero asked, getting an idea in her head.

"..."

"..."

"There's a person I know, and I want to tell her how much I like her...what do I say?" Luffy said.

"That depends." Chehero said. "Why ask me?"

"I dunno."

"Can I take a wild guess on who it is?" Chehero said, it's her, no dout. She shifted closer to him and Luffy blushed a tiny bit, then nodded. "Is it Nami?"

"No."

"Robin?"

"Dear lord no."

"Luna?"

"Sanji'll murder me."

"How about...Vivi?"

"...no."

"..."

"..."

The Jeopardy theme song starts playing. Doo doo doo doo, doo doo do. Dop, dada. Da. Da. Da. Do. Doo do.

"Me?" Chehero asked getting a bit redder, he stared at her, then got even more red. Yep, it's her, bullseye. "How about you?"

"I guess I'll have to say it, I like you too." Chehero said, she's a Naruto fan so her fave is Sasuke next to Naruto, but when it's One Piece, Luffy'll be her fave. This made Luffy smile.

"Great..." Luffy took his hat off and placed it on her head. "You wanna wear it for a while?"

Chehero nodded.

"Don't loose it." Luffy said. "It's really important you know, Shanks gave it to me."

"Why are you giving me something that's important to you?"

"Because...I like you and trust you..." Luffy started to trail off, but she didn't listen. "...yeah."

"Then here, you can wear this too. That way, we're both even." Chehero said, she wrapped her arms around his neck, then tied the choker on him. She tried to sit down, but Luffy's arms held her close to him, causing her to blush. "Luffy, what are you-"

Luffy's lips met hers.

Meanwhile, Becky watched from a distance. "My plan is working, mwahahahaha!" She ran off.

(ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE)

Nami suddenly found herself on a yagara with a seat for two. The only person that was there was...Matt...DOOM! He was controlling the yagara. "How the hell did I get here?"

Matt shrugged and turned the yagara, he looked a bit depressed. Odd, Nami felt kind of bad for him...wait, she NEVER felt bad for him before due to the fact that he's a perverted bastard. Why now?

"What happened?" Nami asked, already knowing the answer: Luna. He kept quiet as the yagara stopped at the edge of a street, Matt climbed out and Nami fallowed...crap, why is she fallowing him?! Matt turned to grab her hand and he led her along the street.

"I got a really important thing to tell you." Matt said, finally facing her. Sanji and Luna were at the other side of the stree/canal of water drinking wine from a winary. "Even though I'm a stalker-"

"Just kiss!" Becky appeared and shoved Matt into Nami and aparently, their lips met. Sanji turned his head and started choking, then he spat out the wine, you can imagine and waterfal from that.

"YOU SON OF A-"

All of hell breaks loose...

"My work here is done." Becky said satisfied.

Tsuki was gliding over her as she walked off. "You know that wasn't nessisary. You draw a romance scene from a novel, then you turn it into a war with those two idiots...who in...are you even listening?"

"No." Becky was scribling notes on her paper. "Just ideas for when I grow up."

"You're a strange child."

"I get that all the time." Becky went to a coffee shop and ran into Robin. "Hey Robin."

"What are you writting now?" Robin asked.

"Nothing."

"The whole town's been acting strange lately, specially with captain-san, Chehero, ms. navigator, band manager-kun, cook-san, and okami-san...are you somehow connected to these issues? It feels like a dream world."

"..." Becky whized out of the shop with a latte in he hands. "See you on the ship!"

"I would take that as a yes."

(IT'S ALL TOO MUCH)

Usopp and Chopper maade it to the ship just in time as they were about to shove off. "Why the rush?"

"Don't know, long-nose. But it seems that our navigator wants to go already." Franky explained. "She said something about a typhoon hitting the island, but I don't see anything."

Chehero and Luffy came on deck with smiles on their faces, Brooke asked,"What's with you two?"

They both stared at him, then started to walk off while giggling. Robin came on board,"I caught them on the beach making out."

"..."

"GIMMIE YOUR GUNS AND I'LL SHOVE THEM UP YOUR-"

"OH YEAH, GIMMIE _YOUR_ KNIVES AND _I'LL_ SHOVE THEM UP _YOUR_-"

"Look who I found in town." Zoro said, in one hand was Sanji with a black eye and several bullet holes in his pants and jacket while in the other was Matt with a broken nose and a shoe print on his back. Luna and Nami came on deck next holding a large cloth covering something...s... The swordsman tossed the two on the ground...hard enough so they were out cold. "Love-sick fools."

"What's in there?" Chopper said, una and Nami removed the cloth and then laid across th deck Matt's weapons. You can say he was too obsessed with Hellsing due to the fact that he had ALL of the weapons shown in the anime hidden on his arms. "...that's an entire army's supply of weapons!"

"Hey, a nucular bomb." Reese said, pointing at a bomb with the hazard sign, everyone froze. "What?"

"Get it off the ship!" Becky yelled, but Luffy grabbed it, then launched it on theisland thanks to his strechy arms.

"BAKA!" everyone yelled. "NOT THERE!"

"She said get it off..."

"Yeah, but not bomb a whole freaken island!" Usopp said. "Franky, we gotta get out of here!"

"Roger that, long-nose." Franky said. "Coup de..."

"Who in their right mind would own a nucular bomb?" Robin asked before the bomb hit the island.

"Someone who wants to blow up Sanji in a second without him noticing it." Chehero said.

"BURST!"

Whee!

(Anyday/A Week Later)

"Let's get this strait...you were carrying a nucular bomb in your jacket?!" Nami asked Matt.

"Hey, if there was one thing that can stop Sanji in a single move, it's a bomb." Matt shrugged. "It's the best idea evuh."

"We had to bomb an entire island." Nami said.

"Gah, shit happens."

(ALL MY LOVING)

"Crap, I can't see." Becky said, trying to go through the fog in the morning.

"Rebecca, mind your lanuage." Luna said, she stubbed her toe. "SHIT!"

"_You_ mind _your_ language." Becky said. Luna was hopping on her foot, then suddenly flew over board. "Luna. Luna? Luna! LUNA?!"

"She can't swim!" Sanji yelled, he jumped overboard to find her, but couldn't. "Luna-chan?"

Something grabbed his foot and pulled him under...


	31. Cherry Stem Knots

Disclaimer: I don't own One Piece

Chapter 31: Cherry Stem Knot

"You think he's coming back?" Reese asked.

"I don't see any bubbles." Robin sad. "Is that your answer?"

Sanji came up to the surface after several minutes. "Luna-chan...can't...her...dragged..."

"GOT YA!" Luna yelled, she jumped Sanji from behind, causing him to swallow more water and cough it out. "I have no idea how, but I can swim!"

"Yeah, just don't scare me that way." Sanji said, Matt tossed them a rope and pulled them on deck. Chopper handed them some towels and they dried themselves. Becky was suddenly poining ahead.

"Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!" Becky said, sounding like an alarm clock that's broken (she does that to wake me up). "Lookie! It's Fannette Island!"

"What?!" Matt said, everyone went to the starboard side and saw a small island with trees and a tea house...or what's left of it. "I think we're home."

"I'm feeling lightheaded." Reese said, he suddenly disappeared in the mist.

"Becky?" Tsuki asked, he fallowed in his direction and faded away too. Becky, Franky, Luffy were gone too.

"Guys?" Usopp said. "Did they just?"

"Think so." Zoro said, he had one sword out already. "Stay close." Zoro warned. "Luna, Chehero, Matt, don't go far from us."

"Got it." Matt said, everyone stayed in a circle. "Chopper, Luna, do you see anything?"

"I think my powers are gone!" Luna said. "I can't sence anything!"

"Hey, Luna...as long as we're right next to each other...you wanna-" the rest was mumbled by Matt.

"What's up with guys hitting on Luna?" Nami asked, Chopper shrugged. Reese and Becky came back. "Where'd you people go?"

"We checked out the island, it really is Fannette Island!" Becky said. "Trees, rocks, tea house, everything!"

"And get this, I can swim now!" Luffy said, everyone stared. "It's true!"

"Stretch your arm, then." Sanji said, Luffy threw his arm back, then thrusted it foreward, nothing happened.

"But I lost my powers too."

"..."

"..."

"...MATT! WHAT THE FUCK! I CAN SEE YOU!" Sanji yelled, Matt had already pulled down his pants.

"...?!...I thought I was invisible." Matt said, scratching his head in confusion.

"WELL, YOU'RE NOT."

"Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! Don't yell." Becky said. "Who knows...maybe a monster might appear."

"Monster?" Chopper squeeked. Sanji took out his lighter and held it in front of his face.

"Hai...had you ever heard of a laviathan? In foggy areas, they wait for thteir prey to drop their guard...then-"

"BOO!" Matt said, grabbing Chopper's antlers, the poor reindeer screamed before passing out.

"Oi, don't abuse the animal." Luna said. "I can't stand animal abusers."

"Yeah!" Chopper agreed, he woke up imediately. The fog started to clear and a large lake sat in front of them. Becky appeared dressed as one of those tour guides on air planes.

"Over to the starboard side, you can see Fannette Island, to the other sides, you can see a-wait, why is the forest disappearing?" Becky asked.

"You're the tour guide, you tell us." Luffy said.

"We're sailing foreward!" Brooke said, everyone went to the back of the ship and saw the fog and the forest and Fannette Island disappear. "What a strange event, no?"

"It must be a seastone mist." Robin said. "Any devil fruit user who goes into one of them looses their powers."

"So as long as we don't sail in it, we won't loose anything?" Luffy asked, she nodded. "Ok, we're not sailing into them anymore!"

"Idiot! Someone, make the ship go backwards!" Luna ordered.

"Hate to break it to you, but that's impossible." Franky said. "We have to make a full turn, but the time the Sunny Go does so, the mist would be gone."

"Gah, we'll just wait for it again." Reese said.

"NO! WE'VE BEEN STUCK HERE FOR A WHOLE FREAKEN' YEAR!" Matt and Luna yelled. Tsuki suddenly flew in, he was screaming about something.

"Guys, something bad has happened!" Tsuki yelled. "Take a guess."

"The meat's gone?!"

"Mihawk's here?"

"We've been robbed?"

"My 80,000 fallowers had disappeared?"

"All the sexy girls are gone?"

"Monsters?!"

"It wouldn't really be my concern, but, you're suffering from starvation?"

"The Sunny Go has sustained damage?"

"Michel Jackson?!"

"Samara?"

"Zombies?"

"One Piece shippings had been broken?"

"Okey, Luffy, I don't care about the food. Zoro, I have no idea who Mihawk is. Nami, the money is still here. Usopp, you don't have any fallowers. Sanji, the girl you find sexy is Luna. Chopper, get over the monsters and be a man. Robin, I don't need to eat since shinigami don't have stomachs. Franky, the Sunny's fine. Luna, get over your Michel Jackson trama. Matt, Samara's dead. Reese, the zombies are on Thriller Bark. And Backy...what the hell do you read for bed time stories?!"

"Fan fiction...mostly rated M for real drama-"

"Well, when you become a teen, you'll be geting real drama. Anyway."

"What is it that you wanted to yell about?" Zoro asked.

"The..." tears are forming.

"The?" everyone asked.

"The..." tears are rolling down his checks.

"The?"

"The..." a puddle is on the ground.

"THE WHAT?!"

"WAH! HAHAHAHA!" a pool was being built.

"You've got to pull yourself together, what is it?!" Franky asked.

"THE APPLES! THEY'RE GOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNEEEEEEE!!" groovy, now the ship is sinking...wait, what?!

"I can't swim!" Luna said, Sanji helped her while Matt was flopping about.

"Save me!"

"Save yourself." Sanji said, he kicked Matt over th rails. "Man overboard!"

"When is this guy gonna stop pouring?!" Luffy yelled.

TT-TT was Tsuki's face.

(Anytime)

"Why? Why, Shinigami King? Why must you take away my apples?" Tsuki asked. Nami checked the apple tree, she then got an idea.

(2 Months Later)

"Tsuki." Matt said. "Look what Nami-swan's come up with!"

Everyone else was called upon, they all stared at a sakura, which was planted near the apple tree. Tsuki climbed in it and plucked a single cherry, then ate it. "It tastes great? Is it a mini apple?"

"Sure." Nami said. "You better love it."

"It's a lot sweeter."

"The smaller the fruit, the sweeter." Nami lied.

"Ah, amazing, I'll call this the mini apples." Tsuki said. "I've never seen them before in my life!"

"Ya fooled him." Sanji said. "That's smart of you."

"Baka, he'll find out sooner or later." Zoro said, returning to the crow's nest.

"Worth a try." Usopp said. "Gimmie a ch- I mean, mini apple."

"Sure thing." Tsuki tossed him a basket of cherries.

"He really needs to go out more often." Franky said as everyone went off to do whatever.

"Yeah, mini apples, c'mon." Sanji snorted. Chehero and Luffy sat at the figurehead together.

"Luffy?" Chehero asked.

"Hai." Luffy said, eating a cherry.

"Did you know...that if you can make a knot from a cherry stem with your tongue, you're a good kisser?" Chehero asked.

"Lemme try." Luffy said.

(2 Minutes Later)

"Tu-dah." Luffy said, he showed off his cherry stem to Chehero, it was in a knot. "Am I a good kisser?"

"You tied it...yeah." Chehero said, Luffy ran off to show off his skill to Sanji, who Luffy has watched many times kiss Luna.

"Oi! Sanji!" Luffy said.

"Crap-kid, not now, I'm busy..."

"Yeah, busy wih Luna." Luffy said, the closet door flew open and Luna appeared, then Sanji, who was fixing his shirt...0.o

"What?"

"Can you make a knot with a cherry stem with your tongue, Sanji?"

"Never tried, why?"

"If you can, that means you're a good kisser. I am, cuz I did it." Luffy showed the knot. "See?"

"Hm, that does look hard."

"I did it once when I was 13. I made it into a knot." Luna said, Sanji took a cherry stem and placed it in his mouth.

(5 Minutes Later)

After nearly choking, Sanji had finally managed to tie the stem into a knot. "Yosh, happy?"

"Then you're a good kisser!" Luna smiled, Sanji got the lightbulb over his head. "Where are you going? I though you wanted to go back into the closet-"

"I'm gonna try this on Matt."

(Anyways)

"Matt." Sanji said.

"Uh-huh? Jealous cuz I stole Nami from you, even though she had the hots for ya?" Matt said, fixing his hat.

"No, can you tie a cherry stem into a knot with your tongue? If you don't, you're a bad kisser. So I highly dout you can-"

"Here." Matt said, taking out a stem from his mouth, it was tied in a tight knot. "Done under half a minute."

"I hate you."

"I try."

"No, I really hate you."

"No, I really try."

"No, seriously, I hate you."

"No, seriously, I try."

"Shut up."

"I know." Matt said, turning invisible. He pulled down Sanji's pants and walked away with them. "You're wearing joe boxers, they're my favorite brand you know."

"I'LL MURDER YOU AND FEED YOU TO LUFFY IF YOU DON'T GIVE MY PANTS BACK!" Sanji roared. "Wait, if you do or don't do that, I'll kill you anyway...either way, YOU'RE SCREWED!"

"Cannibal!" Usopp yelled.

"I swear, I don't think Sanji and Zoro fight anymore." Nami said.

"Yeah it's just Sanji and Matt." Robin said, taking a sip of her coffee. "Why is it that they fight over okami-chan and not you."

"I shall answer that." Matt said. "It's because Luna's rack is better than Nami-swan's, no offense."

"THAT'S NOT TRUE!" Sanji yelled. "Maybe it is...oh, I dunno...GET BACK HERE!"

Matt stuck out his tongue and ran into the kitchen. He hopped on the table, but then did a single handed handstand and arched his back foreward to avoid Sanji's kick. "Ooooo, so smooth, too bad it missed."

"You're lucky I got another leg." Sanji glared at him, he did a handstand and slammed Matt's face into the table, knocking him out...

(Anyday)

"Lunch is up!" Sanji yelled, Luffy, Reese, Usopp, Chopper, and Becky whized into the kitchen for their seats, everyone else fallowed. "You know the pandashark?"

"Yeah." Luna said, looking over their lunch.

"I caught one!" Sanji said, there was something...psycotic about his voice. "Just now! C'mon, eat!"

"Lay off the drugs man." Reese said.

"It ain't groovy." Luna added.

"You expect us to eat, even though we ate ten minutes ago." Nami said, Sanji went to her side.

"Don't worry, I took out the garlic-"

"THE GARLIC'S THE ONLY GOOD PART, NOW WHERE'S MY BOYFRIEND?!" Nami asked.

"Define boyfriend. I don't think you have one."

"Yeah, where's the suke-kid?" Franky asked, everyone, minus Luffy, who was eating, stared at the chef. "You _did_ yell that you would kill him."

"He's sleepin' wit' da fishes." Sanji said. Nami and Usopp, along with Chopper, went to the back of the ship to see a long post. There was a ropetied to the end, at the bottom was Matt, who was hanging at the end of his rope. "At least, not yet."

A shark came in and tried to bite Matt, who hopped up to avoid it, he bounced back down. "Help me!"

"I have to admit, that's pretty rough on the guy." Luna said. "Can't you keyhaul him?"

"No, the ship doesn't have that much barnacles." Sanji said. "I'll pull you up when I feel like it, okey?"

"No."

The pandashark jumped up and bit Matt in the-

"UNCLE! UNCLE! I CALL UNCLE!" Matt wept, yes, he was crying. "UNCLE!"

"That won't work."

"That's gonna leave a mark." Brooke said, the shark was hanging by Matt's-

"Pull him up, I still want him to be a man when I make out with him, Sanji-kun!" Nami begged.

"Hai, Nami-swan!" Sanji said with hearts floating around. He hauled Matt and the pandashark on deck.

"Ow, my balls..." Matt groaned, he was dragged into the sick bay by Chopper with Nami going after him.

"Told ya, ya got no future." Sanji said, Matt lept up and punched Sanji in the- "T-that was a c-cheapshot..." Sanji was on the floor while Matt was dragged across the floor.

"Hey, man, I'll help you." Reese said, he dragged Sanji to his feet, but was kicked also in the-

"What is it with guys getting hit in that area today?" Becky said.

"I don't know, but we got two men down." Zoro said, tipping his chair on its two legs. Luna got up and kicked him too. "WHAT THE HELL?!"

"Make that three men down." Franky laughed.

"Franky, I got something ot show you, get up." Luna said, he got up confused, but then was ambushed by Luna's foot in the-

"Four's a good number, right?" Brooke asked watching Franky and th other on the ground. "Four men down's nice..."

"This is for asking me to show you my panties...Anti-Manners Kick Course!" Luna yelled, she shot Brooke through the roof by kicking him too in his lower region.

"Might as well call it five." Usopp said, Luna shot him a dangerous look. "Meep!"

...oh dear...Poor Usopp was screaming as Luna chased him around the table, she slid right under him and blasted him with her single kick from her foot in his-

"Luffy!" Luna yelled, Luffy came in.

"Is there anymore food?"

"This is for stealing food!" Luna yelled, yeah...and they say I'm speacial...

"All seven men are down..." Robin said. "Did you really have to do that?"

"Nah, I just felt like it."

"JUST FELT LIKE IT?!" the men yelled, then went back to groaning. "Aaawwww."

"Guys!" Tsuki rushed in with a cherry stem tied in a neat knot. "G-whoa! Why are you holding your packages so tightly?!"

"WE'VE BEEN KICKED!"

"Anyway, look, I tied the stem in a knot! What does it mean?!" Tsuki asked.

"..."

"..."

Chopper entered the room, he shrieked at the sight,"GOOD GOLLY! WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?!"

* * *

lol, good golly indeed.


	32. Pantry Talk for the Mugiwara Guys

Disclaimer: I DON'T own One Piece

Chapter 32: Pantry Talk for the Mugiwara Guys

"Urgh..."

"My back..."

"My neck..."

"My balls..."

"Oi, oi, oi." Sanji reached up to find a light switch, he flicked it to find that everyone, including him, had been shoved in the pantry. Luffy was tied up against the wall, everyone else started waking up. He tried to open the door, but it didn't budge. He saw ice around the edges, Chehero. She must've froze the door shut. "Looks like we're stuck here."

"No shit." Zoro said, he was sitting on top of a barrel. Usopp and Chopper were on the sacks of flower while Franky leaned agains the door. Matt spotted Sanji and tackled him. "Here we go again, those idiots."

"Hey, hey, hey!" Reese said, stepping in between the two. "How about a game?"

"Game?" then six men asked the young teen.

"Yeah...how about we tell our secrets?"

"...don't girls do that at slumber parties?" Luffy asked.

"Hey, we're all gonna die here, might as well say anything."

"Sure..." Sanji said.

"Game goes like this. It's like truth or dare, only with truth. AND, you gotta proove the truth by doing, telling, or showing something to support it." Reese said. "Who goes first?"

"The idiot who came up with this game. We go from youngest to oldest here." Zoro said.

"Ah. marimo's in it too?" Sanji taunted.

"I don't really have secrets."

"Well?" Usopp said to Reese. "Kill our boredom."

"Erm..let's see what I've done for the past 13 years of my life." Reese said. "...I have a thing for hitting on my surfing instructor."

Matt, Sanji, Usopp and Chopper snikered at Reese, Chopper said,"Show us a picture of her."

Reese took out his wallet and showed them a picture of his surfing instructor when she was in the bahroom taking a shower, Sanji and Matt drooled.

"That's one hot chick." Sanji said.

"That rack is, like, huge!" Matt said. "How'd you do it?"

"There was a girl who was a lesbian, so she took a picture of my instructor for me."

"No one knows of this?" Franky said.

"None besides you guys."

"Let's see...Chopper's next." Brooke said, lacking facail expresssions. "What do you have to say?"

"...nothing..."

"You sure?" Sanji asked.

"...FINE! When I get the chanse, I go to the bathroom and stare at porn magazines and pictures of Luna that Sanji and Matt own!...(huff, huff)...that's the truth." Chopper said, Matt and Sanji glared at him.

"Those are reserved for me!" the two yelled.

"No beating the reindeer to death." Usopp said. "Tell us where they are."

"Under the cabinet in the bathroom." squeaked the reindeer.

"..."

"..."

"I think I'll nab them when I get out." Franky said. "Anyway, long-nose, how about you?"

"...I..."

"Well?" Luffy said. "Tell us."

"...(mumble mumble)..."

"What?" Brooke asked.

"Meh, wa sheho nin ath cus meh hot teh hos mor ker."

"We can't here you." Zoro said. "Louder."

"I, Chehero, hots, her."

"Say that one more time." Chopper said.

"...I WATCH CHEHERO WHEN SHE'S IN THE BATH BECAUSE I HAVE THE HOTS FOR HER!!" Usopp yelled, Reese and Luffy went quiet.

"...what color is her panties?" Brooke asked.

"...blue..."

"Like her hair! I guessed it!"

"Okey, that truth is confirmed. Luffy, you're next." Sanji said.

"What should I say?" Luffy asked.

"Anything that float your boat." Usopp said.

"...I'll tell you why I like Chehero. One time, my hat flew off, and she grabbed it for me. I was siting down, so she bent over and...I sortta looked in her shirt." Luffy muttered the rest. "So everytime I get the chance, I look down and see them..."

"What color is her...thing?" Reese asked, tugging at the colar of his shirt.

"I dunno, white?!...Matt."

"Fine, I at school once, we had thos really hot science teacher. I tried to hit on her, but I found out something. She turned out to be a guy who was a gay cross dresser."

"So, you liked a man...that makes you gay!" Sanji laughed. "That's low."

"Hey, for a cross dresser, his rack looked real enough."

"That still makes you gay." Brooke said, Matt took out his yearbook and showed it to everyone. "What does she have for panties."

"Just to let you know, she doesn't wear any...Zoro, you're next."

"Why me?" Zoro said.

"Do you have anything to say?" Sanji asked, he was plotting on using whatever Zoro said for future fights.

"None whatsoever."

"Hm, I think you're lying."

"What if I am?"

"Then you are."

"I didn't say that."

"C'mon, you've gotta say something." Franky said.

"Alright." Zoro said, getting pissed off. "When we used to be on the Going Merry, Dusk accidentally fell through the door and landed right next to me in the hammock."

"So...you slept with her?" Chopper said.

"Pretty much, yes."

"Any proof of that?" Matt said.

"No, but I'm saying the truth. (psh, he made that up) Oi, ero-cook. Your turn."

"I'll go last." Sanji said.

"Hey, you ain't older than us." Franky said. "Tell us a thing."

"Let me think...here's one." Reese took out a bottle of Dr. Pepper and started drinking it. "One time, Luna-chan just got out of the bath, so she's wearing her robe-"

"I'll take a wild guess, you wanted to se her with no clothes so you untied it." Usopp said, Sanji nodded. "...pervert."

"Hey, it was freezing that night and she was cold. I caught her on deck while she was heading to her room."

"You hugged her?" Chopper said, Reese choked on his drink.

"What do you think? She said she was cold too." Sanji said, Matt was at the point of turning invisible to fight Sanji, but Zoro held him by the collar of his shirt. "Got a problem with that?"

"Grrrrrrr."

"Oi, you." Franky said. "Want me to tie you up like straw hat?"

"No, but it's your turn." Matt said, calming down.

"I caught Robin in the bath the other night." Franky said, unashamed. Now, for Reese, he was on the ground trying to spit out his drink. "...so I watch her bathe every time and she doesn't notice."

"Ah, the ever so famous Robin/Franky shipping. Never knew it was true." Matt said. "Reese, are you ok?"

"...hork! gack!..."

"Oh."

"That's not shipping, that's stalking!" Reese said. "You think of it as a shipping cuz you're a stalker!"

"...same thing."

"There's more to it." Franky said, the rest of the guys stopped talking. He took out his guitar and started singing Devil's Dance Floor, Matt whacked him in the head.

"That's enough singing. The only people I'm cool with that sings is either me, Brooke, or Luna." Matt said.

"Oh, I would like to add a truth to this circle." Brooke said. "Me and Becky are planning a scheme to see Robin's panties."

"Nice, very nice, how about doing that when I'm not around." Sanji glared at the skeleton.

"Gomen, mister chef." Brooke said, cowering. "Just don't hurt me."

"That was fun." Luffy said. "Now what?"

"I'm thinking." Sanji said.

"Great, now you're smart?" Zoro asked.

"Shut up, marimo. If Chehero froze thie door from the outside, we trapped until the ice melts...Matt, what are you doing?"

"Melting the ice." Matt said, he took Sanji's lighter and started holding it to the door.

"YOU CAN'T MELT ANYTHING WITH MY LIGHTER! IT'S TOO SMALL!"

"DO YOU HAVE A BETTER SOLUTION THEN?!"

"NO, BUT STOP! YOU'RE WASTING THE OIL!"

"They're scary." Chopper said.

"I know." Usopp said.

"There's only one way to shut them up." Zoro said, he pulled out one of his swords.

(Outside)

"Do you hear anything?" Luna asked.

"No." Robin said.

"Then I'm just dreaming of things. Where are the guys?" Robin shrugged. "They must be trading porn magazines."

"Let's play a game." Chehero said. "Becky..."

"Fine...when can I play with you?"

"When you're 13." Luna said. "Nami."

"Uh-huh?" Nami said, the four ladies sat in a circle on the lawned deck. "What are you thinking?"

"Let's tell our secrets." Chehero said. "...it's like truth or dare, only truth."

"This has got to be interesting." Luna said, baring her long, sharp canines in a small wolfish smile.

Eh, I thought I'd screw around, so I invited some friends...they are just too funny, this is the last time I'll let them write for my stories...darn kiddies...


	33. Lawned Deck Talk for Mugiwara Ladies

Disclaimer: you know the drill! Me no own One Piece, savvy?

Chapter 33: Lawned Deck Talk for Mugiwara Ladies

"Who goes first?" Tsuki asked, Nami stared at him. "What?"

"YOU AREN'T A GIRL!"

"That's right." Tsuki said, he flew off.

"How about youngest to oldest?" Robin suggested. "You were the one who-"

"W-wait, Luna and I are twins." Chehero said.

"That's right." Luna said. "Who is younger, Luffy or Sanji?"

"Luffy." Nami said.

"Whose his girlfriend?"

"Chehero." Robin said. "That's pretty smart of you, okami-chan."

"Grrrrrrr." Chehero touched Luna and the wolf was trapped in a giant ice cube. "Stay that way till you're turn comes."

"Well...what do you have to share?" Nami said.

"..." she was fidling with her headband. "...I dunno about you, but I've been catching Luna and Sanji making out every where I go."

"The only place you go is the kitchen with Luffy or the pantry." Luna said from her ice prison. "Now a secret..."

"I have no idea what to say..."

"Say anything that makes you feel better."

"...alright. One night, I got out of the bath, so I was wearing my robes. Worse, Sanji saw me."

"Lemme guess, he tried to strip you." Luna said.

"He thought he was stripping _you! _He even called me Luna-chan.I tried to get Sanji away from me, but I was able to get him to hug me, that's it." Chehero said. "I said I was a little cold, but I knew the real Luna wouldn't say that."

"He must've mistakened you." Robin said. "You both have the same hair style, only a different color. Was the lights off?"

"Yep."

"That would explain why. You can't tell the difference between purple and blue in the dark."

"Well, you're turn." Chehero said, the ice cube melted and Luna laid on the ground in beast point. She scratched behind her ear with her hind leg before shaking her head.

"This is weird. You know when I was blind, Matt took me on a date. I pretended not to know wether it was Sanji-kun or not, but I was able to tell who's who."

"How'd you do that?" Nami asked.

"The way they kiss me. Matt rushes while Sanji-kun takes his time. Nami, you're up."

"Okey...I never told anyone this. When I used to live at Coco Village, Nojiko had a boyfriend...and I dated him before I met Luffy and the others."

"So you stole your sister's boyfriend." Chehero said. "that's harsh."

"Hey, he wanted me, not the other way around." Nami said with a shrug. "Plus, he was drunk."

"I guess I'm next." Robin said. "And I have no secrets...besides the fact that cook-san's going to marry okami-chan-"

"What?!" Luna asked.

"Oh, say for an accident, that I saw him at a jewelry store buying an engagement ring for a certain wolf. He saw me and told me to keep it a secret." Robin said, she gave a little smile. The three other ladies gave a shocked look. "And he told me he's going to ask you tonight."

"Okey, I _may_ be obessed with Sanji, but I'm not _that_ type of fangirl. At least I know he's an anime character...that's it, I'm breaking up with him."

In an instant, Tsuki and Becky appeared, she was smiling. "That could be arranged. It requires Brooke, Matt, and you, sis'...and of course Sanji."

"Why do I get the feeling that no one's going to sleep tonight?" Nami said uneasy. "And what does Brooke have to do with anything?"

"No idea." Becky said. "I just like saying his name the Japanese way...Bu-rook. Anyway...the plan for the last chapter..."

"Last chapter?" Nami asked, clueless.

"Fan fic buiseness..." Chehero said.

"We need to do this when everyone's asleep...or at least when Sanji's asleep..."

* * *

Gasp...it seems way too obvious


	34. Getting Back to Reality

Disclaimers: yeah, if I owned One Piece, Sanji would be the only character

Chapter 34: Getting Back to Reality

"I'll take the trash out." Luna said, everyone sat around at dinner, but Matt was missing. She reached in the trash, but Sanji held her hand.

"Ah, Luna-chwan, I shall do this for you." Sanji said, she responded by brushing his hand away and picking up the bag. "Hm?"

"Let me do this." Luna said, a bit firm. He gave her a strange look while she walked out the door, Zoro gave that eagle/suspicion stare.

"There's something wrong with her." Zoro said.

"What do you know, shit-swordsman?" Sanji barked, the swordsman rolled his eyes and everyone else went back to eating. After dinner, Sanji realized that Luna didn't come back...his first instinct? Find her and ask the question. "Luna-chwan!" He went around deck before heading to the back of the ship. "Dear! I-WHAT-THE-FUCK?!"

He found Matt making out Luna, his tongue was running along her neck and worse...she was enjoying it! Hell, she was even smiling and laughing from pleasure. Matt jumped at his yell and turned around, he gave a smirk. Sanji gave a stare at Luna, it wasn't his normal-I-wanna-be-with-you-for-ever-stare. Actually, it was hard to even read. She, o the other hand, didn't really care for the situation. "Nice trash you're throwing out, you slutty mongrel."

"Like I care." Luna said, she licked her lips with her tongue, hugged Matt tighter, then gave the wolf like grin. She reached in Matt's belt and pulled out his gun, she pulled the trigger at Sanji. Everything went white.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHH!"

"SANJI!" Chopper was screaming. "SANJI!"

"BOTH OF YOU, SHUT THE HELL UP!" Zoro yelled, clearly pissed off. Sanji glanced around in his bed, the lights were on and every man was up in the room. "Bloody idiot."

Chopper handed Sanji a towel. "You're sweating pretty hard."

"Well duh, he had a nightmare." Reese said, Sanji whiped his forhead and neck while getting out of his bed. "Where're you going?"

"Where's Matt?" Sanji asked.

"Why?" Usopp asked, he was sitting up with a teddy bear. They watch Sanji go to Matt's bed and take out a gun Matt always hid under his pillow. "No, you can't do that."

"Do what?" Luffy asked, being clueless, as usual. Sanji aimed Matt's gun at Luffy's head, Zoro had his sword out and at the ready. "That doesn't look good."

"DON'T MAKE ME MASACARE EVERYONE ON BOARD, CRAP-KID!" Sanji roared.

"Turning against your captain isn't going to help." Franky said.

"We don't even know what your problem is." Brooke said.

"SHUT UP! ALL OF YOU!" he roared, he pulled the trigger on Chopper, who flew against the wall. Zoro lept at him, but Sanji kicked his jaw up and shot him squarely in the heart. Again, he kept pulling the trigger until everyone was gone...okey, Franky was predtending to be "dead". Sanji calmy walked out and closed the door, Nami came rushing from deck.

"Sanji-kun! What the hell happened?"

"Nami-san, where's Luna-chan?"

"I dunno-"

The trigger was pulled in her neck and he went on to the back of the Sunny to find Luna and Matt making out...wow, dreams, I mean, nightmares DO come true! "Get your damn tongue off her."

"Interesting." Matt said, doing something worser than sexual harassment...or at least, that's that Sanji thought of it.

"Srew it." Sanji muttered, he pulled the trigger on his own head and everything went white as he fell overboard. He woke up, again, in his hammock. Everyone was sleeping noisily, and unharmed. Sanji rubbed his head, no bullet holes, thank god! He gave a sigh of relief as he went to the bathroom to wash his face, but before he left, he took the gun under Matt's pillow (Matt himself wasn't there) and placed it in his pants, then covered it ove with his shirt. Meanwhile, Becky climed out of Sanji's locker.

"Is he gone?"

"He went to the bathroom." Usopp said.

"Great!" Becky smiled. "Anyone who wants to see Sanji have an emotional breakdown, wake up and come with me."

Franky, Brooke, Chopper, Luffy, Tsuki, Usopp, Reese, and of course, Zoro fallowed the ten year old out of the room. They met the ladies outside. Meanwhile, at the back of the Sunny, Luna sat down on the ground, her ears and nose twitched. "I sense him."

"Where is he?" Matt asked.

She pressed her ear on the floor. "Bathroom, other words, the other side of the wall."

"Okey, we can start to make the noises right now, or wait." Matt said.

"...are you giving me free will?" Luna asked.

"Yes...I may be your stalker, but at least I'm a gentleman." Matt sincerly said. "It's just...I'd rather have a girl fall for me than force her to love me. You must-umph!"

Matt felt Luna's lips on his. Sanji appeared, SHIT! It was JUST LIKE his dream(s)! First thing Sanji did, pull out the gun. Matt shoved Luna away, softly of course, and went for his belt, his own gun wasn't there! "Where did you get that?"

"Your pillow." Sanji replied.

"Pillow?!" Luna asked. "Did you even take it with you here, Matt?"

"No, I thought I had it with me."

"I'm going to commit suicide, then wake up in my bed, and think this was all a dream." Sanji said. "But I want answers on what's happening."

"Oh, crap, he thinks he's in the dream world!" Nami said. "How many nightmares did you put him through?!"

"I dunno, two?" Becky shrugged.

"Baka, he'll masacare us all." Zoro said, keeping his hand on his sword.

"Two is enough to make one go mad." Franky said.

"I've got a plan." Brooke said.

"And it is?" Chehero said.

"First, I need to see Robin's panties-"

"NOW IS NOT THE TIME!" Chehero yelled, punching his head.

"Gomen..."

"...so that's it." Luna said after her long explanation, she was stepping closer to Sanji, who lowered his arm. "I know you're going to marry me, but...I don't think it'll work out."

"It's still this is a dream." Sanji muttered, not looking at her.

"Get back to reality, then."

"This isn't reality. You're breaking up with me! You're even-" she slapped him across hte face.

"If you won't listen to me, then try to come out of this nightmare!" Luna hopped on the railing, then jumped overboard.

"LUNA!" Chehero yelled, everyone came to the rails and looked down. Sanji stood there.

"I'll wake up. Someone, tell me this is fake." Sanji said, sounding crazy. "I'll wake up eventually."

"SANJI!" Becky cried, she was at his knees. "This isn't a dream, we're in reality!"

"If I save her, would I wake up?" Sanji asked. "After all, you're controlling my dream."

"Yes! Now go get her!" everyone yelled at the chef.

"Sanji-kun." Nami said, Sanji got on the rails, then hopped overboard.

"Who's the idiot that did this?" Franky asked.

"Okami-chan herself." Robin said.

"No, me. It's all my fault." Becky said, she sat on the ground and burried her face in her hands. Tsuku sat on the railing, his scythe out.

"Normally, I wouldn't say such things to humans." Tsuki said. "But this night isn't my time to claim her life."

"You mean she'll live?" Nami said, they had their eyes on the shinigami, who gave a curt nod. Smiles went across their faces.

"Wow! It must be awesome to be a shinigmi!" Luffy exclaimed, there was a loud splash and Sanji suddenly jumped on deck with Luna in his arms.

"Someone ordered a fresh sea wolf?" Sanji asked, jokingly. That, however, was a bad joke. "Why am I not waking up?"

"Get...(cough)...back to reality." Luna spat out water, Sanji's smile went away and he hugged her tightly as he sat.

"I'm sorry..."

"Listen, I still broke up with you." Luna said, Tsuki pulled out his deathnote.

"What are you doing?" Matt asked, Tsuki started scribbling something. "Tsuki."

"You kids have had your fun, and my fun too." Tsuki said, he showed the deathnote to them, all four teens and kid's names were written across the pages. "And you keep eluding death."

"No." Sanji said, looking up and shaking his head. "You can't!"

"Tsuki." Luffy said. "What happens when you write a name in that thing?"

"You die in 40 seconds, and nothing can stop it."

"Wait, you said Luna was going to live longer!" Becky yelled, she got up.

"I lied." Tsuki smiled, he bit an apple. Perhaps he hid it in his fur for safe-keeping? "You have exactally 5 seconds...4...3...2...-"

Reese grabbed his chest yelling,"My chest!", then fell overboard. "Reese!" Zoro said, at the same time, Becky went over too.

"Becky!" Robin exclaimed, she was able to watch her when her arms appeared from the Sunny's side. Chehero suddenly fell too, Luffy stretched his arm and grabbed her by her waist. He dragged her on deck and held her. In a second, Mat was gone, all they heard was a splash. Matt's hat, however, stayed on deck next to Sanji. Luna gave a sad look, Sanji had his hand under his back, so he felt a loud thump. She was dead. Chopper scurried to Sanji, he checked Luna's pulse, nothing. He then rushed to Chehero, nothing.

"Are they?" Franky asked, already knowing the answer. Chopper had tears flowing, then nodded before bursting into tears with Usopp. Brooke took off his hat and placed it on his chest. Nami was in tears, and was sharing tissues with Robin, who was crying too. Luffy kissed Chehero's lips. Before leaving her, he took off his hat and placed it on her face. Tsuki was laughing. Zoro muttered,"Shit happens, shit happens." Sanji just held Luna, pretending that she's sleeping. Suddenly...Sanji started kicking her face? WTF?!

**WHAM! **

"MOTHER-!" Luna woke up, she saw Becky on the side of her bed with a pillow case full of bricks and realized that Becky gave her a wake-up call. "BECKY! GET OUT! OUT! OUT! OUT!"

"Hey, she has a right to wake you up you know." Nami said.

"You were screaming in your sleep." Robin said, she pointed out that Luna's sheets were on the floor and were wet from sweat.

"I had you in a nightmare. Man, it was prety funny. I had you start dreaming when you were playing the truth game ysterday."

"So what Robin said yesterday was fake?" Luna asked.

"What did I say?"

"You were moaning, screaming, moaning, and screaming." Chehero said (that don't sound right)

"Where's Sanji?" Luna asked.

"It's 5 in the moring, they must be sleeping-" Robin said, Luna rushed out of their room and into the men's cabin, she found Sanji bed and the chef himself sleeping inside of it. She jumped in and he woke up.

"Wha? Whozza?" Sanji asked sleepily, Luna spressed her lips on his and he was fully awake. "What? You wanna sleep with me?"

"Can I? I had a nightmare..." Luna explained her dream to him.

"Luna-chan, I'd never hurt you." Sanji said caringly.

"And you're not going to marry me?"

"Why? Do you want me to?" (yeah, I bet ALL you Sanji fangirls would wanna have him ask you the question)

"No." after several minutes, they fell asleep. Several hours later, Matt woke up to see Luna's foot poking out of Sanji's bed.

"I hate getting back to reality." Matt mumbled.

* * *

To tell the truth, I thought this was going to be the last chapter, lol!


	35. How Many Men Does It Take To Start A War

Disclaimer: I don't own One Piece

Chapter 35: How Many Men Does It Take To Start A War?

Another ordinary day on the Sunny. Robin was tending to her flowers, Usopp was making up a new weapon with Chehero, Chopper, and Luffy watcing, Franky was in his workshop, Zoro training in the crow's nest, Matt stalking Luna, Nami was drawing more maps, Sanji was at the wheel, and Reese...well, he's just reading porn with Brooke in the bathroom. And Becky, she was reading yet another romance novel. Zoro looked up for once and saw an island from his seat,"Oi, there's land up ahead."

"Land?" Chehero asked.

"Adventure!" Luffy yelled, he stretched his arms on the rails.

"Wait!"

"You wanna come with me?"

"Uh..."

"Gumo Gumo no ROCKET!"

"EGADS!" Chehero screamed, she, Luffy, Chopper, and Usopp were sent flying to the mystery island.

"The fool." Nami said as she saw four dots race across the sky. "Might as well land there."

"Hai, Nami-san." Sanji said, he turned the wheel and the Sunny made her way. Luna, Matt, and Reese jumped off on the sand.

"Chehero!"

"Luffy!"

"Usopp! Chopper!"

"Listen, I'll go ahead and look for them. Becky, you stay here." Luna instructed while switching to beast point and running off into the jungle. She ran so fast, that she suddenly ran into the four people she was looking for. She screamed. Then Chehero screamed. The Chopper screamed. Then Usopp screamed. Then Luffy laughed. Then they were all screaming eventually.

"You think they're all right?" Matt asked after hearing the screams.

"Well, Sanji-kun's not going after his Luna-chan...so I guess they're fine." Nami answered, she looked at Matt. "Why aren't you going?"

"That's it, I'm going!" Sanji declaired as he ran.

"Oh no, you're not!" Matt yelled after him. He grabbed Sanji's ankle and pulled him to the ground.

"Fight! Fight! Fight!" Reese chanted as they fought in the sand. A large gray wolf appeared.

"Luna-chwan!" Sanji said, he went over to the wolf and hugged it. "Are you alright?"

"Garururururu."

"Ain't that Absalom's laugh?" Tsuki asked, pointing at the wolf, who suddenly bit Sanji's leg in anger.

"I think this isn't Luna..." Sanji said, kicking the wolf to Neverland.

"No shit." Zoro said. "You can't tell Luna and a normal wolf apart."

"...then I try to be kind to nature's animals."

"By the way you treated that thing, I highly dout that." Franky said. Luffy and the others finally came. "How'd your little adventurue go?"

"Not much, but lok what I found!" Luffy held out a slab of rock. Robin took it in her hands. "Is it cool?"

"Intresting, yes." Robin answered. "Is there any more of this?"

"Yosh." Chehero pointed towards the forest. "We saw, like, a whole freaken ruin."

"Yay! We're going back!" Luffy said, he dragged Luna and Chopper. "C'mon, adventure awaits us again!"

"I don't wanna go back there! It's scary!"

"Adventure...yeah..wheee." Luna said, unenthusiastically. "Great fun..."

"By the way, we saw gold-"

"Take me with you!" Nami said, fallowing the captain. Everyone else sighed and started to fallow. "Was there a lot of gold? How much? Is it big?"

"Yep!" Usopp lied as he started to exagerate. "And me and my men fought off horrible beasts!"

"..."

It was like that for a while as they went deeper in the jungle. Matt saw a python in the branches, then smiled. He grabbed it, then threw it at Sanji. "SNAKE!" Sanji was rolling on the ground trying to get the python off. Zoro and Matt laughed at him as Sanji struggled, he ran ahead and then disappeared. They heard a splash and a "DAMNIT MATT!" from the pissed off chef. They ran towards the sorce of Sanji's splashing. They encountered a large lake with trees. waterfalls, animals, everything. A large field was to their right, and a glorious waterfall to their left.

"Who wants to go fetch him?" Becky asked. "Nearly all of us can't swim."

Reese took off his shirt and handed it to his sister, then dove into the water. He grabbed Sanji's collar and dragged him to shore.They fallowed him from the cliff, then, Matt and Sanji's eyes met. Chehero raised her voice to avoid the two from fighting again,"Uh, this is where we landed, Robin!" Reese took his shirt back. Nami took her eyes off the two guys who were about to fight to look at the scenery, her jaw nearly dropped.

"My god, it's buetiful." Nami said.

"Right you are, lady!" Nami nearly screamed, the wolf from earlier appeared in front of her, he had a bandage on his head.

"Wolves talk?"

"Lady, this is the Grand Line, anything can happen."

"He's right." Brooke and Tsuki agreed. "Look at us, we're the undead."

"Are you four kids." he pointed his snout at the teens. "The two sons of Adam and two daughters of Eve?"

"WTF?! Are we in Narnia or something?!" Reese asked, he took out his bat and swung the wolf to Neverland. Luna kicked him into the lake.

"STOP ABUSING ANIMALS!" Luna yelled. "I **HATE** ANIMAL ABUSERS!"

Sanji and Matt stopped fighting, but Sanji snuck up from behind. He "accidentally" bumped into Matt, causing the band manager to fall in the lake. "Oops, I didn't see where I was going..."

"You're a dead man!" Matt started swiming. "Hey...I can swim!"

"We know that." Sanji said.

"Devil fruit users aren't supossed to swim." Robin said.

"I can!" Matt went around doing several strokes. Becky placed down her book, then ran at the water, Luna tried to hold her back, but her hand slipped off the girl's shirt. She grabbed a random vine and swung on it.

"Whoo!" she drove right in with her clothes still on.

"Oi! You might still drown." Usopp warned.

"Why dontcha come in! Water's great!" Becky said.

"I guess we'll make camp here." Franky said as he watched the kid dive underwater.

(Five Hours Later)

Well, there you have it, a regular camp site. Tent, fire, stuff and all that other crap they needed. They sat around the camp fire eating dinner of fish that was freshly caught by Sanji and Luna. Luffy jacked Luna's share of the fish, so she jumped at him with her jaws snapping in beast point. Chehero was scaring the crap out of Chopper, Usopp, Brooke, Tsuki, and Reese by telling them about Japanese horror films (you pick which film). Robin was reading one of Becky's romance novels. Franky was playing his guitar. Zoro's asleep with his back against the tree trunk. Nami had Becky sleeping in her lap. Sanji was trying to get Luffy to give back Luna's fish. Yep, a regular camp scene, oh, and the camp site was arranged the same way as it was in One Piece: Unlimited Adventure.

The same gray wolf from earlier crawled into camp. His and Luna's eyes met. She couldn't help, but get off of Luffy and bare her fangs at him. "What do you want?"

"Oi, oi, oi." he said slowly. "Gimmie a minute to say who I am!...I am-"

"I know who ya are!" Luffy exclaimed. "You're a mystery wolf!"

"No, baka!" Sanji said, kicking his head. "Who are you?"

"I was hoping you'd ask that." he chuckled. "I ate the Kae Kae no Mi.'

"We don't speak Japanese." Matt said. "Speak English."

"Change Change Fruit." Robin said, taking out another book. "Allows the user to change into anything he/she desires. Not only that, they can change anything they touch into something else. Kind of like magic."

"Cool!" Luffy exclaimed, suddenly, Matt shot the gray wolf in the head. "What the hell? I was gonna let him join our nakama!"

"Richie." Matt murmured, he shot repeatedly at the wolf until Sanji grabbed Matt's hand and held him back. "I WANNA KILL THAT BASTARD!"

"Cool down, man." Reese said. Luna switched to human point and rushed over to the wolf, who suddenly turned into human. He had long, blond hair wich was tied in a ponytail like Matt's. His gray eyes stared at Luna. Oooo, he also got a British accent.

"Hullo, love..." Richie said, giving a dashing smile at her, she blushed. "Missed me-?

"Who are you to put the moves on Luna-chan?!" Sanji roared. "Get outta here!"

"He's a foreign exchange student from London, England." Chehero explained, Becky suddenly woke up. "Ricie's Luna's dad's stableman, who takes care of the horses."

"AND! Get this...Luna's REAL boyfriend!" Luna suddenly covered her sister's mouth. "Mwah, mph, mah!"

"Don't start any problems." she hissed, Sanji stared at Luna with an OMFG expression. Luna asked,"What?"

"I need some time alone for a minute." Sanji said, he walked out of camp.

"This is what I don't get." Nami said. "Is Luna a magnet for guys or something?"

"I dunno."

"Beats me."

"No ideas."

"Nuh-uh."

"You got any?"

"What's a magnet?"

"Baka, Luffy."

"What just happened?"

"That's how it is at home."

"Every corner in the hallway, people ask for a date."

"What's up with that?"

"Ahem." Luna called out everyone's attention. "...tell me exactally how you got here, Richard."

"That's easy, love, you're in a dream world! I'm just a figment of your imagination."

"Figment, eh?" Matt said, approaching Richie. "Then why do I see a mast sticking out from behind you?"

"Mast? What mast?"

They suddenly found themselves on the Sunny. Usopp, who started to see a patern, asked,"Let's get this strait. Everytime we meet Loon's friends, we end up being on the Sunny all over again! With Raven, we got on the Merry, with Becky, we were thrown on deck, and Richie, he just placed us here! What's up with people sending us to random places?!"

"Is this one of your adventures?" Chopper asked.

"Eveytime things get interesting, it all goes away." Luffy pouted. "What with this world?"

"Did you blokes bang your head?" Richie asked. "I'm not familiar with this anime, really." Sanji was back in the picture. He snuck up from behind and tried to kick the ranchhand off his feet, but Richie pulled out a whip (Indiana Jones wannabe) and cracked it on Sanji's stomach. "You know, you can do ANYTHING here. Amazing, inn't?"

Sanji, Matt, and Richie started a fight, a dust cloud, yeah, cursing, gun shots, kicks, whips. Yep, an average fight between three guys who're fighting over a girl.

Zoro was finally awake, he saw Richie, Reese and Brooke explained what happened. Zoro asked,"So...how many men does it take to start a war?"

* * *

Hey, take a guess on Zoro's question and put the answer in your review, I command you to...


	36. Perverts of the Round Table

Disclaimer: I DON'T own One Piece

Chapter 36: Perverts of the Round Table

"Freaks, shinigami, kids, what's next, aliens?!" Franky asked, he was in his workshop below deck. "Might as well brand them freaks."

"It's our fault." Reese said, drinking coke. "Look at me, I'm the only _normal_ teen out of all of them."

"Normal...that's until you eat a devil fruit-"

"Franky!" Matt yelled, he rushed inside. "I need a nucular bomb!"

"Go to Usopp. He making freezer bombs-"

"Thanks!"

"...he's going to blow us up. Reese, get him before he does so." Franky said, Reese jumped down from his stool and heard a scream, he rushed to Usopp's room.

"I heard a girl scream! Oh, it's you...I'm leaving."

"Girl?! It was me!" Usopp yelled. "Help! I'm being held gunpoint, damnit!"

(On Deck)

"Let's get this strait, how the hell did you get here?" Luna asked, Sanji was handcuffed to her hand so he can keep a 24-7 watch over her. The three sat on the grass.

"Tell me how you got here, and I'll do my part." Richie said.

"Either a horse ride accident, or a sleping gas at school. It's one of them. Your turn."

"...I have no...bloody idea."

"Argh! I'm not getting anywhere!"

"Then I'll take you anywhere."

"NO HITTING ON EACH OTHER!" roared Sanji.

(Kitchen)

Operation Steal Food from Kitchen was under full swing for Luffy. He looked all over the place, cuboards, drawers, cabinets, everywhere! It turns out that Sanji placed all the food in the pantry. "Crap, where's the meat?"

"Baaaaaaa!"

"...goat?..." Luffy opened the door to the infamaryto find a large, white/black Irish goat with a golden bell tied around his neck. The goat stared at Luffy as he grabbed the goat and ran out on deck in search for Sanji.

(On Deck)

"Fight! Fight! Fight!" Tsuki, Brooke, and Chehero cheered. Luffyran around with the goat in his arms.

"SANJI! I FOUND A GOAT! LET'S EAT IT!" Luffy yelled, waving th beast in the air. Richie and Sanji stopped fighting; Richie had his whip around Sanji's neck while the chef had his foot in the other's face.

"Goat? We hadn't have a propper meal in ages!" Sanjidrooled over the goat with knives out. Richie wrapped his whip around Sanji. "What gives?! We HAVE to eat! Lemme cook him! The size of that thing can feed us for a week!"

"Don't cook him, or you'll regret it." Richie warned, he hugged the goat. "His name's Pip. I got him since he was a kid from Ireland as a present from Grandfather. Cool, isn't he?"

"You're lucky dad even let you keep that on the ranch." Becky said. "...it was pretty funny when you came from London..."

"Shut up, lass." Richie placed his hand on her head and ruffled her hair.

"So...are we going to eat that or what?" Zoro asked, having spotted the goat.

"Baaaa..."

"What's the point of having a live creature that got a lot of meat on it if you can't eat it?" Robin frowned. "But I have to say, he looks cute."

"Too cute to be dinner!" Nami bent down and hugged the buck. "Sanji-kun, would you please not cook him?"

"Hai, Nami-san." Sanji flashed his knives in front of Chopper as he gave the I-wanna-eat-you look. "I always knew you were an emergancy food supply."

"S-s-sanji." the poor little reindeer backed away until Luna tugged on the chain.

"Stop that."

Reese, Matt, and Usopp came on deck, Matt stared at Pip, who glared back. "Richie. How many times do I have to say, don't let Pip near me!"

"Why, you have allergies or something?" Usopp asked.

"Nah, when he first met the goat, Pip slammed his horns in Matt's pakages."

"Ah."

"What does that mean?" Luffy said. "Matt has boxes full of neat stuff?"

"Matt _had_pakages full of neat stuff...for Luna, actually." Becky said, Luna slapped her shoulder. "What? Not my fault you're a virgin, I mean Matt almost took-"

"Were you kids raised in a barn or something?" Zoro said.

"Pretty much, yeah-"

"YOU LITTLE!" Luna started choking her sister the same way Homer chokes Bart.

"Who's still a virgin?" Franky appeared.

"Luna and Sanji."

"That's low. I thought okami-kid saw Sanji's boxers already-"

"EVERYONE, SHUT UP!" Luna yelled. "Do I have to rate this fan fic M or something? Cuz it's starten' to sound like it!"

"Could you?" Chehero said. "Rate it...M? You _are_ the author."

"M?" Sanji asked. "And what's a fan fic?"

"Nothing." the five teens and kid responded.

"..."

"..."

"...Baaa!"

"...?!" Matt was suddedly rammed in the groin by Pip. "I didn't...(gasp)...do anything."

"I'll go see what I can cook for lunch." Sanji and Luna went to the kitchen.

(Later)

Everything was pretty quiet during lunch, even Luffy kept quiet. Luna jumped slightly in her seat next to Sanji and was blushing madly, he raised an eyebrow at her.

"What?" asked Nami as she drank her tea.

"There are..." she tried to find the right words. "...five perverts in this room right now...one of them...is running their hand up and down my lap." Luna's face was completely red while Zoro rolled his eyes at her. "...even though it feels good...could one of you...please stop that...now...before you run your hand up my belt...or even my...(gasp)...shirt?"

Now everybody was quiet as they stared at Reese, Brooke, Matt, Richie, and Sanji, the obvious perverts. She was trying to say or moan anything else, she gripped the table with her hand...tightly, so tight, that she gripped the her nails made a hole in the sheets.

"I'm not doing anything." Matt said, raising his hands in the air, Brooke, Reese, Richie and Sanji did the same.

"If I did a thing, the chef or Richie would murder me again."

"Why would I hit on my own sister?"

"Luna's me gal and all, but I'm not doing a bloody thing."

"I may be lusting for her, but at least I know how to contain myself at the table." Sanji confessed last.

"..."

"..."

"At least someone stopped." Luna said, she gave a sigh of relief, her grip lessened and she slouched back into her original position.

"Can't you kids contain yourselves at the table for at least two seconds?" Zoro asked, ten minutes later, she jumped again and was blushing. "Ugh..."

"Okey...this time...who's trying to get...their hand...up my shirt?!"

"I need to go do something..." Luffy said, leaving the table.

"Yeah, me too." Chopper said, Franky, Zoro, Becky, and Tsuki fallowed suit.

"I don't feel like playing the game of when Luna guesses which piece of shit is running their shitty hands up and down her." Zoro said before leaving through the door. "Ero-shitheads."

"Oi." the five pervs said. "You're shit too, marimo."

"So...the meeting of the Perverts of the Round Table has begun, members mister band manager, cook-san, Brooke, and Richie are here...anyway, okami-chan." Robin said, crossing her arms on the table with a smile. "Can you roughly guess who's harassing you?"

Sanji got up and started to clear the mess on the table (he uncuffed himself) and went to the sink.

"First of all, before we start, Reese and Becky have to leave, now." Luna said. "I don't want to encorage them to do such things."

"C'mon, sis, let us in on it." Reese said, Luna switched to demon point and bore her fangs.

"I'M YOUR OLDER SISTER, DO AS I SAY!"

"Eep!"

In a split second, they were gone, Luna sat back down and whipedthe saliva from her mouth casually. "Second of all, I know it's not Sanji. If it were, I would've heard the chain move. Bothhands were on the table. Brooke was sitting too far, along with Usopp."

"That leaves Matt and Richie-kun-" Nami said.

"Why does Richie get a kun and I don't?" Matt asked.

"Cause he's more of a gentleman, unlike you...sometimes."

"Anyway...I say Matt and Richie were doing it to me. Richie was running his hand on my lap, Matt was with my shirt."

"Damn, how'd you now?" Richie asked while putting his feet on the table.

"Oi, you stupid goat, I just cleaned that!" Sanji exclaimed from the counter. "Don't put your boots on the table!"

"Because that's how you both are when you make out with me at home. Duh?"

"You live an interesting life, okami-sama. Mind if I see your panties?" Brooke asked.

"..."

"Richie, Sanji, Matt, Brooke, tell me what you're thinking of right now." Chehero said, getting an idea.

"Luna." Sanji and Richie said in unison.

"Racks." Matt said.

"Panties."

"No, think a little deeper."

"Where're you getting at?" asked Nami, she raised an eyebrow at her, Chehero whispered something in Luna's ear. The wolf smiled.

"She's say something that the guys were thinking of right now."

Luna got up and stretched a bit before yawning and saying,"I'll go undress-"

In seconds, Matt, Richie, Sanji, and Brooke all got nosebleeds,"You're going to strip in font of us?!"

"Was that what you guys were dreaming about?"

"...yes, I was slowly undressing Luna-chan in my mind and fucking her sencelessly."

"Yep, my love."

"I was just running my hand on her rack in my mind, but yeah, you can say that."

"You're right, I was just looking at your panties...along with Nico Robin's."

"I'll pretend I never heard that." Namisaid as she started to leave with Robin.

"Well, I need to go undress so I can bathe." Luna left while Usopp gave a look to everyone.

"Zoro is right. You can't contain yourselves." they all turned to Usopp. "What?"

"It's not a matter of containment." Brooke said.

"It's a matter of testing temptations." Sanji was cleaning a glass. Matt was getting ready to leave. "Where're you going?"

"No where."

"I have a feeling that you wanna see Luna's knickers." Richie had a firm hand on Matt's shoulder. "And this concludes the meeting of the Perverts of the Round Table."

Anyway, in the spa room. Luna sat there under the faucet, allowing waterto pour over her head. She was humming Seven Deadly Sins under her breath. Sanji entered the spa room quietly, he reached for her towel that was set on a table, but Luna saw him through the wave of water rushing down her eyes. "What're you doing?"

"Nothing." Sanji placed the towel down and sat at the edg of the spa. He took off his coat,shoes, and socks and rolled up his pants to place his feet in the water. There was a moment of silence as she sank lower into the bubble bath. "The water's pretty cold."

"It's really hot and I'm part wolf, I need to cool off."

"Side-effects?"

"Yep."

"..."

"..."

"Why're you in here?"

He merely shrugged. "I wanted to ask you something."

"Go ahead, shoot. It's not like it'll end my life or something."

"Who do you like better? Me, Matt or Richie?"

"You, duh. Right now, I'm living a fangirl's dream. I'm stuck in One Piece and I'm dating Sanji...anything wrong about that?"

"It's just...Becky-chan said you love Richie more than me."

"Don't listen to her. She's just a romantic. Truth is, she tries to ruin every relationship I had, but when Richie came it's the total opposite."

"..."

"Now, do you have a better reason why you're here?"

"Hey, that question I just asked was a serious one." he held up one finger at her.

"Sure it was. Maybe it was your alibi so you can see me in the bath."

"Alibi? You let me watch you sometimes."

"...stalker."

"Am not."

"Prove it."

"..."

"Ha! You got nothing."

"Yeah I do, I just can't remember."

"Bullshit, you're acting like Matthew."

"Fine, just for saying that, I'm taking your towel." Sanji was about to get out, but she grabbed his leg. "What're you doing?

"I can play at that." her wet, soapy hand held his ankle tightly. "Just for trying get me out on deck with no clothes, I'm pulling you in the water."

"You can't do that!" Sanji tried to get his foot back, but she was able to pull him in the water. "Argh!" He glared at her as she merely shrugged with a smile.

"Told ya." Sanji started to smile. "...?"

"To tell you the truth." he scooted closer to her. Her smile went away as she scooted away from him, but he went closer. "This is the first time I'm in the same bath with a girl."

"I'm getting out." Luna said, she reached out forher towel, but it was gone. "You're kidding me. Sanji-kun, did you take it?"

"What?"

"Don't 'what' me! You know clearly what I'm asking." she crossed her arms on her chest.

"I didn't take it! I placed it back when you pulled me in! Can't you turn into a wolf and dry yourself?"

"...right." she switched to beast point and climbed out.

"Hand me a towel." Sanji said.

"No, you took mine in the first place."

"Did not!"

"You threatened to."

"Yeah."

"So you did!"

"Just hand me a towel or something."

"Nope."

"I'm not goimg outside wet! Everyone we'll get the wrong idea!"

"Would you rather go outside with wet clothes or no clothes at all?"

"...you have a point." Sanji got out and opened the door for her, she ran off to Chehero. The chef looked to the side and saw Matt and Richie sitting there.

"Why are you wet?" Richie asked.

"Funny story." before he can explain, Matt and Richie were beating hhim to death. "She pulled me in! Not the other way around."

"You bloody, filthy, perverted git!" Richie yelled.

"You' broke the code of the Perverts of the Round Table! Hell, you even signed a contract!" Matt yelled, holding a piece of paper.

* * *

Perverts of the Round Table...man, my friend thought of that for me after reading my fan fics.


	37. Surprise Attack

Disclaimers: yeah, if I owned One Piece, Sanji would be the only character

Chapter 37: Surprise Attack

Several months passed after the last big event that'd happened in the last chapter. It was a normal night, everyone was doing their own thing.

Nami and Robin talked to one another in their room.

Richie and Chopper were outside washing Pip.

Tsuki hung out in his apple tree with Luna sitting in the branches near the shinigami.

Zoro slept quietly in the crow's nest.

Matt laid on the seat next to the wheel with his gun out and pretending to be a secret agent man. Hey, he was even singing the song!

Chehero was taking a bath.

Franky, Usopp, Reese, and Brooke were trading porn in their room.

It was a perfect night.

Sanji decided to come out of the kitchen after cleaning up the mess, he saw Luna from his spot on the rails. She sat there like Near on the branch closest to him, her left had was in her mouth and she sucked on it as though she was thinking of something, for a moment he thought she was sucking on her thumb, turned out to be near her wrist. "You look a bit dazed."

"I's just thinking how long we've been stuck here. It's, what, two years?"

"San." he corrected her. (three)

"Strange, is it not?" Tsuki asked the two. "None of you kids seemed to have changed."

"Pip, no!" Richie yelled, his goat suddenly rammed into the apple tree, Luna swayed a bit, but her tail kept her in place as she switched to hyrid point. Suddenly, they hear unshots from Matt and whip cracking the air from Richie.

"What're they up to?" Luna asked, irritated, she jumped out of the tree to see Matt and Richie fighting again.

"_Soru_!" Richie yelled, then disappearing.

"Soru?" Chopper, Sanji, Luna, and Matt asked, in seconds, Richie apperaed from behind Matt and dug his finger into his back.

"_Shigan!"_

Matt coughed up blood and fell over with a blank face. Chopper scurried over to the fallen band manager and started to tend to him as Sanji stared at Richie, who was wiping his finger free from blood. "What?"

"Collier Shot!" Luna and Sanji yelled as they kicked him from both sides, he yelled,"_Tekkai_!"

They felt their legs slam into steel instead of Richie's shoulders. Luna fell over holding her foot in pain as Sanji glared at him,"Who taught you that?"

"Funny you should ask, I met these folks." Richie pulled out a piece of blank paper, he waved his hand over it and the faces of Lucci, Jyabura, and Kaku appeared. "Nice mates, you know-"

"Get down!" Chopper screamed suddenly, he was already on the ground with his hooves over his head. Luna twitched her nose and ears as she gave a snarl at nothing. They suddenly heard screams from the lavatory, ladies cabin, and the library.

(author hits slow-mo button)

Prepare for a drama scene.

Luna started to turn, Sanji grabs her arm to ask her a question, she whips around to see several gigantic phoenixes and a winged horse, all had cloaked riders riders. One of them, most likely the leader, raised a hand and the phoenixes started doing flamethrowers. Instantly, Matt, Sanji, Luna, Pip, Chopper, and Richie were thrown overboard, along with Tsuki, from the intence blast of flames.

(author hits play button)

Meanwhile, on deck, Nami and Robin were having their own problems. Their door flew open and a cloaked figure grabs Nami, another came in, but Robin used her powers to hold htem at bay.

"Leave her, take the red head!"

Robin attempted to go after them, but they closed the door behind themselves and lit it on fire, leaving the archaeologisttrapped inside. Meanwhile, several of the cloaked bandits made their way to the crow's nest, where Zoro slept, they bust the door open and woke up the swordsman.

"Yawn...you wanna play?" Zoro yawned casually, one of them pounced at him like a lion, but he drew out his katanainstantly and sliced the foe in half, the body dispersed into sand and ash. Others went after him with daggers and knives out, he pwns them in three seconds before jumping out and killing off more of these sand freaks. "Who woke me up from my nice nap, eh?!"

Franky and Brooke fought back to back as they killed of the raiders. "Weapons Left!"

Usopp had his Kabuto out and was firing his amo at the enemies in the sky. Oddly, his lead stars flew through them. "Eh?! No affect?!"

"Gumno Gumno..." Luffy was aiming for the leader, who had an indian headdress. "Pistol!"

"TEKKAI!" the leader bellows. Chehero suddenly apperaed, fully clothed of course, and was yelling,"WHAT THE HELL?!"

"Chehero!" Luffy yelled back at her as his arm strectched back to him. "We're under attack!"

"I can see that, Sherlock!" Chehero used her powers to morph into a wolf that was made of ice. Her large paws left small flakes in th grass as she fought the enemy with her fangs baring viciously. The fighters heard a scream, it was Becky and Nami being dragged away by a random enemy. "Give her back!" She opened her mouth and a jet of ice came after the guy. Before it hits him, a phoenix flew in and he hitched a ride, at the same time, Reese was taken also. "REESE!"

"Find Robin!" Reese roared at his sister. "She's in her room, I tried to get her, but the door's on fire!"

"Right!" Chehero started running of to their room and saw the door, she used her power to stop the fire. Robin came out with several burns, but otherwise, she was fine. "You gotta help us!!"

(Anyway)

"Cough!" Chopper and Richie clinged to Pip as he floated. Sanji was holding an unconcious Luna on his back. It's been a full hour since the attack and hte Sunny was nowhere to be found "Who do you think they are?" Chopper whimpered.

"No idea, but I don't think they're friends." Sanji answered as he gritted his teeth since he was completely pissed off. Tsuki hovered above them. "There's land up ahead, we might find someone there."

"For once I agree with you." Matt panted as he held a piece of dift wood. "Richie, can't you use your power to turn this wood into a boat?"

"No, once anything I change touches water, it'll turn back to its original form."

Eventually, after paddling for hours across the sea, they made it to the sandy shore of an uncharted island. Sanji dragged Luna on shore and took off his jacket for her to lay on. Pip collapsed with Matt as Chopper tended to Richie, who had a deep cut on his nose. He placed a small bandage on it and Matt laughed,"You look like Pip from Hellsing!"

"So tired," Chopper yawned as he slept near Luna. Soon enough, all of them fell asleep in a circle. Richie, however, was the last to sleep, his last thoughts were,"_Where the bloddy hell are we, and what happened to the others?"_

* * *

It is OFFICIAL! This is the last chappie. Wait for LATSHP: part 3! It'll be more better than the past ones, I hope since I'm back at school and my vocabulary is better. Hopefully, there'll be more blood, action, romance, and humor.

So...WAIT!

Fun Fact: Your IQ drops during summer vacation, true story...I swear

Little Preview: I'm studying Ancient Egypt, Asia, and a bit of Europe, so yeah. It'll be based around those countries.


End file.
